I'm oblivious! Help me analyze this please!!!!!!!

[crzybeautifl88]

Hi people. First I want to start off by saying thanks to everyone who reads and replies to this.

 

I have a typical problem, I am trying to figure out if this guy likes me.I have been so oblivious lately, and am so wrapped in the way I feel I can't see the ''big picture''.

 

It has been a month since me and this guy has became friends. I don't think that he actually knows that I like him for more. I am just going to give u some of the scenerios of the4 past month and let u give me advice based on whatever u think.

 

When I talk to him on the phone we will talk for up to 2 hrs sometimes. For awhile I didn't think he liked me b/c he never called me. Then the other night he did and got my vm, so I don't know if that writes off what i previously thought or not.

I seen him at work one night and it was liek he could not stop himself from smiling. He would look at me and my friend said that he would just smile so big. one night he came over at about 10 we watched a movie and talked until almost 3 that morning. nothing happened, we never even held hands. he had to get up for work at 5. So I know that he has to like me a little but as a friend or more is the hard part to figure out.

 

He will ask what i'm doing the next day and we'll agree to ''get together'' vagure i know but we never do. I guess during one of our conversations I said something that implied to him that I didn't like him as more than a friend he told my friend that i had been pretty straightforward about it. I tried to fix it by asking if he told her that and from there i said that i found him attractive but i remember him saying that he stayed away from the dating scene. from there he just said that he was afraid of commitment b/c of his last g/f but it could of been just who he was with.

 

I have left out alot in fear this would be to long...... but from what u guys got what do u think? friend or more do u think he is just shy? I keep thinking maybe i see the signs but i'm ignoring them b/c i'm scared of rejection. anything u can give me good or bad i need it thanks!

[Tony T]

I think there could be something there but he needs encouragement. You ought to take the lead by inviting him to do something with you here and there...don't be too agressive but just enough to let him know you enjoy being with him and doing things with him.

 

If you ever hope to find love, you will have to get over your fear of rejection. Rejection is a very important part of life. YOU have rejected many guys...so why shouldn't others have a chance to reject you??? Do you want to go out with somebody who doesn't want to go out with you??? Will rejection kill you??? Does it make you less of a person???

 

If you go grocery shopping and you reject all the other fruit in favor of apples or bananas, does that make the oranges and pears bad???

 

So get on and make your move. And if you find he's not interested, poop on him. That's his problem. You've got lots of territory to cover.

[clia]

I am anti-girl making the moves, so my reply will be tailored as such...(although I realize this may not be a popular viewpoint these days!)

 

For awhile I didn't think he liked me b/c he never called me.

 

So, he's left you one voice mail in a month? Honestly, most guys who are interested really do call. You are in the best position to know if this guy is just extremely shy, but guys normally will call. How many times have you called him?

 

He will ask what i'm doing the next day and we'll agree to ''get together'' vagure i know but we never do.

 

Hmmm....again, most guys who really do want to see you will do whatever it takes to pin you down for a date and time. Have you ever "gone out" with him, other than the time he showed up at 10 at your place?

 

from there he just said that he was afraid of commitment b/c of his last g/f but it could of been just who he was with.

 

Well, he could be very afraid and that's why he's slow. Or he could not be interested. I suppose the real question is this: do you want a guy who pursues you and is willing to take the risk of being hurt, or a guy who is behaving fairly wishy washy who seems to like it just fine when you do all the work to make things happen? It all depends on what kind of relationship you want...although...

 

Things are still very early--you've only known this guy a month. If I were you, I'd turn on the flirt-o-meter to HIGH and see if he makes a move. And please stop calling him, don't chase him--put yourself slightly out of reach to see if he will make the move to contact you or see you. This is your best indication of how he feels about you. If you are constantly contacting him, then you will never truly know if he actually wants to talk to you or see you or not.