My Wife says she is not in love with me anymore?

[Bovi]

I am at a complete loss, my wife whom I love very much indeed has moved out to stay with her Nan, she says she does not love me anymore and does not want to be with me. However, only a few weeks ago she sent me a yahoo greeting saying she loves me lots and that is a promise? She has changed since the birth of our son two years ago, she has been withdrawn and keeps saying she needs some space to sort her head out? The next minute she will turn around and say (with compassion) 'God I love you' .

 

It was only the other week she told me about her feelings for my ex best mate who she had been text messaging constantly, I forgive her and she decided that her feelings were on a friendship basis only, following that she seemed really happy and we have been getting on great until last week when she decided she wanted to move out! Well we lived in the same house and she said she was going for a drive, the next night she tells me she was going to meet this so-called mate to sort out what her feelings were once and for all. Two nights later she goes off for a supposed girlie night in with her mates. I decided to meet up with this so called mate and talk things through face to face with him, he says, I will level with you, I do have feelings for her but it is not what I want and that she has been doing all the chasing.

 

He said he should have ignored the messages earlier to which I agreed, however when he came back home to tell her that he did not want anything else other than friendship she spent most of the night crying. Next day she says I suppose he did not tell you about the other night? It turned out he was lying to me, the night she went for a drive they met up and sat by a local lake chatting, the night she went for a supposed girlie night he had asked her to go and see him at a farm he works at, he kissed her, they held hands etc. (she promises they did not go any further than that) the night of there official meeting was not spent at the local bar as he had said but walking and kissing around the local beauty spot.

He has lied to me big time, she has been honest even showed me the messages on her phone from him. The point is though I really genuinely think she still loves me deep down, I know she has been feeling down and hates herself for some months now, she hates the way she looks, she hates being nasty to me but says she cant help it? She says I have done nothing wrong and that I deserve better than her as I am according to her a fantastic husband and Dad?? I love this woman so much, I have tried to help her and now even after the little shows of affection etc and the cards she has sent me expressing her love for me she now says she does not love me, does not want to be with me anymore, and to top it off says she has felt like this for twelve months or more??

I am completely lost as she has done some very caring and loving things in only the last few weeks, stroking my neck and hands without any prompt from me etc. I nor anyone else I have spoken to can work her out? Two weeks ago she even asked me to stay from work and make love to her all night, I had to go to work however, I then got loads of text messages saying I love you, take care babes etc.

This woman has changed since our son was born, other people think the same, I do not want to lose her, I love her loads, but she is adamant about leaving and living on her own - why? She says she needs to sort her head out, and told me to get on with my life and not to wait for her to come back as she might not? She is coming back this week while she tries to find her own place to live but she will be sleeping in the spare room (her idea).

I have tried so hard to help her, I have never done her any harm whatsoever apart from loved her to bits!

Could she be suffering from a mental illness due to childbirth or a hormonial problem? I know she loves me really as other people have told me that she told them a few weeks ago that she loves me to bits for God's sake.

What do you think is going on here? I am lost, hurt and devastated, I do not know what to do for the best?? I really just want the woman I married back as she was - loving, affectionate, faithful and totally honest to name just a few traits. I hope someone can shed some light on this, please.

[sweetpea]

maybe I can help, just a little imput

 

i've been married for almost 4 years, have a 3 year old daughter. I'm beginning to think that I'm falling out of love with my husband. I'm not really sure at what point in my life I started feeling this or why. Things were good for a while after I had my child, I didn't have any side effects or hormone problems, however, a lot of women do have these problems. Reasons I'm falling out of love with my husband are, the way he talks to me, he doesn't respect me anymore, never wants to do anything with my family or with just me and his daughter. he doesn't even act like a father half the time. For the past 1 1/2 years he has told me to move out that he doesn't love me anymore, etc....how I'm not a good mother and other words to put me down.

 

Things like this have made me fall out of love with him. Just curious do you cut her down, or try to upset her? Are you both fighting all the time? Do you ever have time alone? I'm not sure what could be causing the situation between you and your wife. My husband would rather get drunk and hang out with his friends.

 

I've not told anyone yet, we've just bought a house and my daughter is only 3 years old. I'm not really sure what to do myself. If you have any insight from the guys view please let me know.

 

If you have any questions for me just ask and I'll try to answer the best I can.

 

Sweetpea

[Peter Pan]

I read both the above and your reply and as I read particually your reply I kept saying in my head yes yes yes to your questions. You see although I'm not proud of it I saw my self in how you explained your husband and my partner now has said those words that she loves me but not in love with me. I'd like to give you my view concerning your husband if you could help me in how I can regain her love.

[Mz. Pixie]

Peter Pan

 

THere is a book by Gary Chapman called Winning back your wife or something along those lines- read it and it can help you.

[Woggle]

I hate women like this. This is why it is almost not worth it for a man to be good to a woman. You try to be a good man and treat a woman right and this is what a man gets in return. And women wonder why men are afraid to commit and why there are so few good men around.

[Art_Critic]

2 + year old post guys.. Who digs this stuff up ?