I think I may have apserger's syndrome

[BlueSoul]

Why I think like this? Because at college I seem to have difficulties trying to get into social groups or having problems with social communication. I have no friends at college, just some minor adquaintences. I have some friends in college but they're not major friends.

 

Do I need to see a psychogist to make sure that I have this syndrome?

[Enema]

I definitely think you should see someone.

[Tony T]

Why I think like this? Because at college I seem to have difficulties trying to get into social groups or having problems with social communication. I have no friends at college, just some minor adquaintences. I have some friends in college but they're not major friends.

 

Do I need to see a psychogist to make sure that I have this syndrome?

 

I don't think you have aspergers. I think you need to make some friends. It wouldn't hurt to see a professional if you simply don't know how to go about doing that.

[iowajournal]

First of all, you may have Asperger's. I wouldn't automatically jump to the conclusion that you do not. I have thought myself to have a variation of this. I will talk about my own situation and see if you relate to any of this.

 

First of all I grew up under a psychotic / "mommy dearest" /over-protective mother. I was insulated (perversely) from the rest of the world. My mother made me her pet, and as a result I found it near impossible to develop a normal relationship with other people, especially women.

 

To compensate I digressed into my mind, and turned away from all social activities. I loathed high school and skipped it entirely, favoring to master the guitar instead of the scattered, unappealing subjects being forced upon me by the school system. I became a specialist of sorts with a finely tuned mind that jumped into subjects deeper than most people were willing to go. This freaked out many people, caused resentment, made me smarter than most on whatever subject I chose to jump into, and alienated me from the "normal" ones.

 

To punish me for my abnormal efforts, my parents had me committed as a psychotic...and anti-psychotic medications were forced upon me. I had none of the symptoms of schizophrenia or bi polar, but they couldn't, or wouldn't understand that Asperger's was more likely the situation. The other strong possibility pointed towards the faulty up bringing of my mother and father, but because of my mothers strong political associations, this was buried under the table quickly.

 

I eventually learned to deal with this. I am an isolationist. I am repugnated by what most people consider normal culture or society. I learned to question everything.

 

Now I consider my condition to be a strength and not a disability. My precocious observations end up being correct 9 times out of 10, and I just chalk up the ignorance of the general public and any people around me to be part of their inability to go into their minds as deeply as I have gone into mine.

 

Remember the Buddhist teachings. The world is a problem. The world is suffering. When you turn away from the world and renounce it. Your mind and body will begin to heal itself. This can manifest in many wonderful and interesting ways. For me, my dreams and imagination are as colorful as a movie. I am able to remote-view whenever i want. I eat very little, and sleep long hours. I have an imagination that I enjoy and do not worry about so much any more.

 

Your mind is the best form of entertainment there is...and it costs you nothing to enjoy.

 

So enjoy.

[spookie]

First of all, Asperger's is more than a lack of social skills. The cornerstone of being on the autistic spectrum is an inability to read physical social cues. Are you able to pick up on social cues? Is it just hard for you to make friends because you have social anxiety? I used to be cripplingly shy, but now that I am dating someone who actually has Asperger's, I know that I'm probably "normal" in that sense. I can read cues just fine - I'm just socially awkward.

 

Second, even if you do have Asperger's, it's not a really a "disorder" or "disability", it's just a difference in the way you perceive the world, so a specialist won't be able to diagnose and "cure" you, if that's what you're looking for. With how prescription-happy many psychiatrists are nowadays, I woudn't be surprised if you'd be able to score some drugs to help combat your social awkwardness (Xanax....) but I don't think pills are the right solution to your problems. I think knowing for sure whether or not you are AS might help you understand yourself better, and thus deal with life more appropriately; but please don't view AS as something negative inside yourself you must eradicate. If you have it, it's just who you are. (And I know I'm biased cause of my bf, but I think it's awesome.)

 

Other characteristics of AS: OCD about organizing things like information, need for very rigid routines, one-track mind and thus very specilized interests.

[Politico]

Why I think like this? Because at college I seem to have difficulties trying to get into social groups or having problems with social communication. I have no friends at college, just some minor adquaintences. I have some friends in college but they're not major friends.

 

Do I need to see a psychogist to make sure that I have this syndrome?

 

Don't be so quick to analyze yourself or assign yourself a syndrome, -ism or disorder. You're not qualified to do so and will just make things worse.

 

Not having close friends isn't necessarily a sign of much of anything in my opinion. Having grown up in the military I was conditioned to consider friendships fleeting. Now, as a seasoned adult, I have many acquaintances but no close friends and I don't miss the latter in the slightest. I've travelled a lot, put down no permanent roots and like it that way.

 

Let me hasten to say I have a wife. I have children. I'm not lonely. My children are all grown and doing fine. No regrets!

[Nemo]

, but now that I am dating someone who actually has Asperger's,

Hope it's going great!

Second, even if you do have Asperger's, it's not a really a "disorder" or "disability", it's just a difference in the way you perceive the world,

And couldn't we all do with a bit more of that!

[Serph]

Asperger's is largely an imaginary condition and a fraud, don't label yourself and keep making consistent efforts to establish new bounds. Be wary of what doctors might tell you, too: most are ridiculously incompetent and will simply establish that diagnostic because it's trendy, completely disregarding the fact that social awkwardness is frequently a normal phase in the life of young boys who just need to suck it up.

Edited February 2, 2008 by Serph

[BlueSoul]

How is social awkwardness normal for teenagers? Unfortunately I'm early-18 and have social problems in communicating with people with heart, thus making friends.

 

I'm under a lot of social pressure in my class, I couldn't belive that I let this slip at the beginning of the year, after all the social depression that I've been through from my first year of college.

[Walk]

What is "social depression"?

[Arch]

lol, I find people just annoying to be around, so I choose to limit my face to face contact. It doesn't mean you have a disease, it just means you don't like being around people.

[iowajournal]

Arch and a few other comments here I agree with. I'm sick and tired of other people trying to label and categorize people. I assure you the so called healthy and normal ones have manure that stinks just as much if not more than the people they harass with their strong ideas on how people should act. I have been fighting this war my whole life. People are bastards there is no doubt. Eccentric minds and artists etc have always had it hard in this world. This is why I am basically oppossed to anything status quo...because historically I know how much it has hurt me.

 

Do what I have done. Drop out. Get comfortable with the fact that society rejects you and go from there. You'll feel a whole lot better about yourself.

[Arch]

Arch and a few other comments here I agree with. I'm sick and tired of other people trying to label and categorize people. I assure you the so called healthy and normal ones have manure that stinks just as much if not more than the people they harass with their strong ideas on how people should act. I have been fighting this war my whole life. People are bastards there is no doubt. Eccentric minds and artists etc have always had it hard in this world. This is why I am basically oppossed to anything status quo...because historically I know how much it has hurt me.

 

Do what I have done. Drop out. Get comfortable with the fact that society rejects you and go from there. You'll feel a whole lot better about yourself.

 

Society didn't reject me, I reject society,

[annieo]

Society didn't reject me, I reject society,

 

I like your attitude. I felt the same way from 14 to 25, and I still have bouts of it (thankfully) from time to time. Gotten better at faking it, for employment purposes.

As it happens, many people with "asperger's" or social issues are bright, or brilliant, or visionary (NOT that I put myself in any of these categories). Since the majority of people aren't bright, let alone brilliant, and wouldn't know visionary if it walked up to them and announced itself, it's going to be a slightly lonely road. So what? Know yourself, that's our main job in life.

[oppath]

Seeing a counselor would be good but you can't diagnose yourself with aspergers.

 

More likely you have some social anxiety, and that does not mean you have social anxiety disorder.

 

What are your thoughts before, during, and after a social situation? How do you feel physically?

 

Cognitive behavioral therapy is GREAT for this problem because usually people have distorted cognitions about themselves, their value, what other people are thinking, so they avoid or escape situations -- negative BEHAVIORS -- or don't take risks based on those distorted thoughts, and then since they don't get the results they desire, they beat themselves up over it, a negative feedback loop.

 

Thinking differently and taking some risks -- behaving differently -- are the solutions, but it requires BOTH parts, cognition and behavior, to be successful.

[Mustang Sally]

Asperger's is largely an imaginary condition and a fraud, don't label yourself and keep making consistent efforts to establish new bounds. Be wary of what doctors might tell you, too: most are ridiculously incompetent and will simply establish that diagnostic because it's trendy, completely disregarding the fact that social awkwardness is frequently a normal phase in the life of young boys who just need to suck it up.

Oh, ooooookaaaay...

Now that's a voice of reason....

 

Listen.

OP.

You need a professional to make that kind of diagnosis.

If you are worried, get yourself down to the campus health and/or guidance center and see what kind of resources might be there for you.

 

Good luck.

[oh_what_am_I_doing]

As a teacher, I find it hard to believe that you could have made it through K-12 without a single teacher talking to your parents about the fact that you possibly could have aspergers. Possible, perhaps, but not probable. Teachers usually are pretty good at picking out children with autism, aspergers (a form of autism), ADHD, etc.

 

You mentioned depression. It is possible that you are depressed, and it wouldn't be a bad idea to go and talk to a professional. Good luck and I hope you get it sorted out.

[oppath]

As a teacher, I find it hard to believe that you could have made it through K-12 without a single teacher talking to your parents about the fact that you possibly could have aspergers.

 

It's possible that they didn't mention aspergers and just said "he just seems really shy." My kindergarten teach told my parents "he is the most shy kid I've seen in 20 years of teaching." Is it any wonder I didn't date until I was 24.5? That's not a coincidence. But what was my mom supposed to do? She could have taken me to therapy, but she felt like shy people have great qualities and I got along with people ok and I did well in school. So without behavioral and school problems, she figured it would be fine. It was not.

 

I do not believe he has aspergers, just some social anxiety which can exist even if you are not shy. After taking public speaking classes in high school, I was no longer shy, I was very outgoing. But I still struggled with friends and I couldn't date. No one would have pegged me as shy or lacking social skills. But I was still emotionally shy in being too anxious to take risks, to get close to people.

 

Talking to a professional really gave me the coping skills to deal with the social situations I struggled. I had the social skills, I did not have the coping skills to deal with the anxiety and possible rejection, so I did not use my social skills when I had opportunities.

[Brenna79]

Asperger's, social anxiety, generalized anxiety disorder and depression may have similarities but they are all different disorders, so yes, I would see a psychiatrist and get a diagnosis.

 

For the one who thinks asperger's isn't 'real', get a grip. My friend has two 'special needs' kids who floundered and did poorly in school and socially until they received their proper diagnoses and thus, the care and therapy they needed. They are now thriving.

Asperger's is not a death sentence, but it CAN make life more difficult and make people feel horribly isolated. When they have a better understanding of it, they can learn to deal with life a lot more effectively.

 

Good luck, OP. There are many people out there who have a hard time making friends and being social and it can be for a lot of varied reasons. Try investigating what might be the cause of your sadness

[BlueSoul]

Is there a way of getting rid of apserger's syndrome? I remember when I was little I had made a lot of good friends. And is there a way of stopping autism?

[BlueSoul]

As a teacher, I find it hard to believe that you could have made it through K-12 without a single teacher talking to your parents about the fact that you possibly could have aspergers. Possible, perhaps, but not probable. Teachers usually are pretty good at picking out children with autism, aspergers (a form of autism), ADHD, etc.

 

You mentioned depression. It is possible that you are depressed, and it wouldn't be a bad idea to go and talk to a professional. Good luck and I hope you get it sorted out.

 

I remember at the end of the day when I was 6 my teacher arranged a meeting with my mum about me. I didn't know what they were talking about as I was outside playing. I constantly turned around to see what they were doing as they were discussing. I felt scared and quite upset and wondered what things they've mentioned about me. Up to this day this memory haunts me and hurts me.

[sb129]

Is there a way of getting rid of apserger's syndrome? I remember when I was little I had made a lot of good friends. And is there a way of stopping autism?

 

No.

 

Stop labelling yourself- you aren't qualified to self-diagnose, and it would be too easy to pigeonhole yourself and then make excuses for your behaviour based on your own labelling, which is a bit of a cop out IMO.

 

I also believe it would be very hard for you to have got to the age of 18 without somebody picking up whether you had something like Aspergers or not. I used to look after a kid with Aspergers, and the one thing that stood out with her was that she didn't care what other people thought of her, and I definitely don't think that applies to you.

 

Personally, based on my knowledge of your previous posts, my opinion is that you are very naieve, a little immature for your age, and that you care too much what other people think of you.

You may also be shy and a little anxious in social situations- lots of people are.

 

Finding someone that you can trust to talk about your fears and anxieties is a good idea- I think a counsellor could help you overcome some of your worries and provide guidance and reassurance.

[oh_what_am_I_doing]

I remember at the end of the day when I was 6 my teacher arranged a meeting with my mum about me. I didn't know what they were talking about as I was outside playing. I constantly turned around to see what they were doing as they were discussing. I felt scared and quite upset and wondered what things they've mentioned about me. Up to this day this memory haunts me and hurts me.

 

Well if they were talking about you having asperger's, you would know it. You would have been placed on an IEP, received special education services, and your mom would have been collecting free money from the state. Relax. It's called a parent-teacher conferences. We do them all the time. They were probably talking about your reading and math scores.

[BlueSoul]

Well if they were talking about you having asperger's, you would know it. You would have been placed on an IEP, received special education services, and your mom would have been collecting free money from the state. Relax. It's called a parent-teacher conferences. We do them all the time. They were probably talking about your reading and math scores.

 

No. I don't tolerate this kind of issue. Anything concerned about my education on a negative note I won't be happy about it - never.

[blind_otter]

No. I don't tolerate this kind of issue. Anything concerned about my education on a negative note I won't be happy about it - never.

 

How do you know it was negative?