rbones Posted June 24, 2003 Share Posted June 24, 2003 hi I'm a 35 year old male and i have just broken up with a great single mom after a six month relationship. She stated that I was awesome but there was no passion. I did everything wrong since, starting with pretty much begging and moving on to constant emails. It has been over a month now and i can't believe it still hurts so much. We never fought in our relationship but there were a few obstacles. religious beliefs different, first time i dated anyone with a child, she may be moving if a job comes through for her and through all of this we weren't quite in sinq sexually. As much as I wanted to be in my heart when it came to action i let myself down time and time again. Now that we have been a part I am starting to realize a lot about myself and trying to work on some things for me if nothing else. She feels you can't create spark it just happens, i agree to a certain extend but i feel the spark is there it just needs to be tapped. I started to really like her child as well as we have found a happy ground with religion. but but the time i realized this it was too late. All that said is there any advise to win her back? Any advise would be a huge help.......thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Just A Girl2 Posted June 24, 2003 Share Posted June 24, 2003 I think you're blaming yourself far too much. Stop it! I think she's right, a spark *can't* be created..it's either there or it's not. Sure, it can take a little bit of time to discover, but you were together for 6 months...I'm thinking that should have been long enough to discover it "mutually" if it was meant to be. You weren't in sync sexually, and it doesn't sound like she was really planning on sticking around permanently, as she was planning to move if a job came up........ Funny though....wondering why it took her 6 months to realize there was no spark on her end? Were you maybe "too nice"? I can tell you from tons of experience.....women like a guy who's a bit of a challenge....not one who's always there, who's overdoing it with the sweet words/emails/sharing his feelings........most women don't want a guy who's a pushover....who acts like we are the total focus of their world.....that's a huge turn off and can cause a woman to lose respect for a guy, and think he might just be a little too needy or desperate. Were you the first person she'd dated since being with her child's father? (just curious) If anything, I think you should totally back off and break off all contact with her. Don't continue to contact her by phone or email, telling her over and over how you feel and how you wish she'd give you both another chance. That will driver her further away faster than you can shake a stick. If anything is going to come of this, your best move is to make yourself totally scarce, and I mean totally. Don't act like you're desperate and just dragging yourself through life everyday, waiting to hear from her. Get yourself busy, and don't be available. Sometimes a person doesn't realize what they had til it appears to be totally gone. Ya know? Link to post Share on other sites
tintinnyho Posted June 24, 2003 Share Posted June 24, 2003 Look at me.. It took my EX 2 years to feel that he never loved me and dumped me. How does that hurt a person! I really don't think backing off can help with getting her back to you.. The fact is, she will not! But somehow I hope after a long time, when she sees you again, she will have a different feeling for you. But it might take a long time to do it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author rbones Posted June 25, 2003 Author Share Posted June 25, 2003 A little more info..............she wanted this job her whole life and I knew that when we started dating. I thought we had some spark the first four months then with a few issues piling up we just didn't have the commitment to make to our relationship. that sounds awful but I felt a slow decline in spark. Not until the relationship ended did I relize what We really had. I don't believe spark can be created however I think the spark is there we just didn't give it the effort to tap it. Anyways any further thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
Author rbones Posted June 25, 2003 Author Share Posted June 25, 2003 She has been divorced for four years and has had a 2 year relationship in the middle of those four years. She was on her own for 8 months before we met. Link to post Share on other sites
sweetncute Posted July 3, 2003 Share Posted July 3, 2003 Maybe you think there is spark there but obviously she doesn't. Sounds like you are vying for third place anyways she has too much going on in her life and it seems you drew the short straw. Link to post Share on other sites
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