nextel Posted January 31, 2008 Posted January 31, 2008 I am doing well. I have been away for a while, enjoying my evenings, lunch and dinner dates with MM. Guess what, he filed for divorce on the 28th. He had hoped that they would compromise and use a mediator, but since she did not want to move out, he went ahead and filed. He has been with me every night since then. Needless to say he has made his move.
Owl Posted January 31, 2008 Posted January 31, 2008 Congratulations!!! Looks like things are progressing! That's the only way things could have really gone, if she refused to move out. He can't do anything else but file and proceed on his own.
Author nextel Posted January 31, 2008 Author Posted January 31, 2008 Congratulations!!! Looks like things are progressing! That's the only way things could have really gone, if she refused to move out. He can't do anything else but file and proceed on his own. Thank you. I too was wondering if he was going to hold up his his end until that Monday afternoon when he showed me the paper work. I was so happy but I had to refrain until I really knew what he was going through. He talked about the relief he was feeling and decided he wanted to stay with me. He goes back today because the children are back home. He seems unfazed. Yes, we have made progress and through it all, he continues to profess his love for me.
OpenBook Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 Nextel, I can't help but wonder if I should set a timer to see how long it will take before you become disillusioned with him. Do you think this will happen? Do you ever wonder about it? Are you completely convinced that he's "The One"? Are you keeping your eyes WIDE OPEN about him?
Lizzie60 Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 Congrats! If I'm not mistaken.. he had till the end of January to make his move.. Good for you! I wish you lots of hapiness together...
Author nextel Posted February 1, 2008 Author Posted February 1, 2008 Nextel, I can't help but wonder if I should set a timer to see how long it will take before you become disillusioned with him. Do you think this will happen? Do you ever wonder about it? Are you completely convinced that he's "The One"? Are you keeping your eyes WIDE OPEN about him? You are certainly entitled to do as you please. As far as I am concerned, I have what I have been wanting for the a long time. My body, mind, heart and soul wants him. I know he loves me, not because he tells me but because of his actions. He is the one for me.
Author nextel Posted February 1, 2008 Author Posted February 1, 2008 Congrats! If I'm not mistaken.. he had till the end of January to make his move.. Good for you! I wish you lots of hapiness together... Thank you Lizzie60.
LucreziaBorgia Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 I only hope his relationship with you doesn't turn out to be pattern behavior based on his past relationships, and turn out like they did. I hope you will keep some of your heart protected in this, just in case.
Author nextel Posted February 1, 2008 Author Posted February 1, 2008 I only hope his relationship with you doesn't turn out to be pattern behavior based on his past relationships, and turn out like they did. I hope you will keep some of your heart protected in this, just in case. Point taken.
whichwayisup Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 You are certainly entitled to do as you please. As far as I am concerned, I have what I have been wanting for the a long time. My body, mind, heart and soul wants him. I know he loves me, not because he tells me but because of his actions. He is the one for me. Because of this, I wish you all the happiness and for your sake, I hope it works out. The only few problems I see is, how your lives will blend together normally, without the past drama which fed the intensity of the affair over the years. Now is the real test, the real thing, the real relationship out in the open, not hidden and having to lie, deceive. Do protect your heart, take this slowly.
Author nextel Posted February 1, 2008 Author Posted February 1, 2008 Because of this, I wish you all the happiness and for your sake, I hope it works out. The only few problems I see is, how your lives will blend together normally, without the past drama which fed the intensity of the affair over the years. Now is the real test, the real thing, the real relationship out in the open, not hidden and having to lie, deceive. Do protect your heart, take this slowly. I dont know if my thinking is correct based on what you have stated, I stand to be corrected. MM and I started seeing each other summer of 07. We were friends for years prior to us starting the A. We started A in October 07. I dont believe that our A was fed by "past drama which fed the intensity of the affair over the years". Even after we started our A, in my eyes, he did not seem married at all. We did not hide our interactions. We went to open places, in fact, we wanted to be seen. When he had business dinners, he took me with him. I have been able to visit him at his job just like he has been able to visit me at my job. For the both of us, we feel like we wasted precious time over the years by delaying what we knew always existed between us. I was the girl that played hard to get and waited on him to hunt me down, and he was the guy that felt he had given me enough hints and that I should have acted on them. Needless to say, in the process of both us playing hard to get, he gave up and moved on, while I did what I did best....enjoy my life. Now we realize that we wasted time and want to be together. Again, I stand to be corrected if this is still manifested by past drama....
whichwayisup Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 Sorry Nex, I think I may have mixed up your situation with someone else's.
OWoman Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 I am doing well. I have been away for a while, enjoying my evenings, lunch and dinner dates with MM. Guess what, he filed for divorce on the 28th. He had hoped that they would compromise and use a mediator, but since she did not want to move out, he went ahead and filed. He has been with me every night since then. Needless to say he has made his move. Great news, Nextel! Good luck on the struggles that lie ahead - this next step is not easy but you are strong and you know what you want.
OWoman Posted February 2, 2008 Posted February 2, 2008 Nextel, is this your MM's stxW? The details sound way too similar for it to be coincidence.
LucreziaBorgia Posted February 2, 2008 Posted February 2, 2008 Nextel, is this your MM's stxW? The details sound way too similar for it to be coincidence. Ditto. That is eerie, but not unheard of for a BW to track down OW like that on here. I can remember another time that happened. Either that, or someone is posting the story from BW's POV to see if people tell her to fight for her marriage or walk away, and to convince people that MM was "telling the truth" all along by presenting the story from a supposedly irrefutable POV.
annabelle75 Posted February 3, 2008 Posted February 3, 2008 Ditto. That is eerie, but not unheard of for a BW to track down OW like that on here. I can remember another time that happened. Either that, or someone is posting the story from BW's POV to see if people tell her to fight for her marriage or walk away, and to convince people that MM was "telling the truth" all along by presenting the story from a supposedly irrefutable POV. Hmmmm .... the reason I stopped posting here regularly several months ago was becasue a guy I use to date starting posting here after I broke up with him. He tried to pretend he was some one else, but I could tell it was him. It creeped me out and I left becasue he was unstable and I was afraid he'd do something like post my personal infromation or something. It was all very stalkerish. He's finally left me alone now. Even though I know the odds are low, it just might be nextel's BS. Creepy but possible.
White Flower Posted February 3, 2008 Posted February 3, 2008 Congrats Nextel, and good luck in the months to come.
Owl Posted February 21, 2008 Posted February 21, 2008 Hey Nextel! You out there? Wondering how things are progressing for you???
White Flower Posted February 22, 2008 Posted February 22, 2008 Hey Nextel, what's up? How are things?
bentnotbroken Posted February 22, 2008 Posted February 22, 2008 If the ow in my situation could track me, I'm sure a wife can track ow.
mopar crazy Posted February 22, 2008 Posted February 22, 2008 Next, whatever happens shield your heart! My H also left me for the OW and filed for a D. Three months later he came back begging me to give him a second chance. I don't think H really gave it a lot of thought b4 he made such a big decision to end the M shortly after his A started w/ OW. Hopefully your MM has given it much thought and knows that his M is over and it can not be repaired.
GreenEyedLady Posted February 23, 2008 Posted February 23, 2008 I am sitting here wondering, why it is so unbelievable that MM actually leave their W's and get divorced...I'm sure everyone knows people who have actually done it... The fact is sometimes you marry the wrong person...And sometimes the OP and the MP are meant for each other and it works out...They actually live happily ever after... We don't begrudge those working on their M's...However, if that fails, why begrudge us happiness with the ones we love? Why the constant negative comments and trying to plant seeds of doubt? Love conquers all...But maybe that's what so many people are actually afraid of...Sometimes that loves lies within the M and sometimes it doesn't...
NoIDidn't Posted February 23, 2008 Posted February 23, 2008 Love does not conquer all. If that's all a R has, what happens when the love inevitably starts to wane when life butts in? And in a R borne of an A, its going to take a h*ll of a lot more than love to keep that afloat.
whichwayisup Posted February 23, 2008 Posted February 23, 2008 The fact is sometimes you marry the wrong person...And sometimes the OP and the MP are meant for each other and it works out...They actually live happily ever after... Then why does a MP take months and months, some times YEARS to come clean and leave their spouse? Why hide and lie, betray and say I will leave - When infact they won't and don't? IF a OP and MP fall inlove and it's real, the type of love they feel is worth changing their lives completely - Just do it! Divorce and move on. Yeah, people sometimes marry the wrong person, but usually they don't know it's the 'wrong' person until they've cheated and want someone new.
NoIDidn't Posted February 23, 2008 Posted February 23, 2008 Its really interesting how smug some OPs posts become once they start a "new" kind of R with the stbdMP. And then they wonder why non-OPs don't celebrate with them.......
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