OWoman Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 Otherwise, you just stay married to your wife (supposedly waiting for her to come around and decide to file for divorce) and you guys stay joint owners of your house and I will go on my merry little way, because there is no place for me in that scenario. They are not joint owners of the house - it is HIS house that she moved into. She has no claim on the house - he and his children do. When the divorce is heard, she will be evicted. It makes no sense for the MM to move and disrupt his children in the meantime because his stbxW refuses to move out of the house she has no right to remain in. Link to post Share on other sites
Author nextel Posted March 3, 2008 Author Share Posted March 3, 2008 They are not joint owners of the house - it is HIS house that she moved into. She has no claim on the house - he and his children do. When the divorce is heard, she will be evicted. It makes no sense for the MM to move and disrupt his children in the meantime because his stbxW refuses to move out of the house she has no right to remain in. Thanx OWoman, couldn't have said it any better. Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 Part of the confusion here might be due to locations. In the US, in many/most states...there IS the concept of "marital property". Which would mean that she would be co-owner of the house, regardless of who brought it into the marriage. So in THAT case, she would have equal rights to the home and to living in it as he would. Its apparently not the case here. If its not the case, why doesn't he simply have her evicted? Link to post Share on other sites
Author nextel Posted March 3, 2008 Author Share Posted March 3, 2008 Part of the confusion here might be due to locations. In the US, in many/most states...there IS the concept of "marital property". Which would mean that she would be co-owner of the house, regardless of who brought it into the marriage. So in THAT case, she would have equal rights to the home and to living in it as he would. Its apparently not the case here. If its not the case, why doesn't he simply have her evicted? Well, I am in the U.S. They have not been married long enough for her to even claim ownership of the house. There was a prenup in place. She is entitled to whatever equity the house has accumulated since they have been married (which is 2 years), however they have to subtract the downpayment from that, and split the equity 50/50, which would leave her with very little because the housing market is not good. After he did his research and spoke to the lawyers, he told her about this and offered her more money than she can get from the D, plus payment of 3 months for an apartment she chooses. She refused. Now she risks leaving with approximately $1500. Eviction...no. The courts will sort her out. Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 Eviction...no. The courts will sort her out. Why not? It would be a clear message to her and everyone else. It would be a clear message to YOU as well. Letting her stay has what benefit? Link to post Share on other sites
Author nextel Posted March 3, 2008 Author Share Posted March 3, 2008 Why not? It would be a clear message to her and everyone else. It would be a clear message to YOU as well. Letting her stay has what benefit? This is why I am against eviction. He asked her to move out, she refused. He has done the next best thing and the courts will tell her to leave. A clear message he me ha? For what purpose? Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 Meeting your "boundaries"...showing you clearly she's no longer a part of his life...etc, etc, etc... The message would be that he's doing everything in his power to end the marriage as quickly as possible. Again, I don't understand the reasoning, but clearly you do and are comfortable with it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author nextel Posted March 3, 2008 Author Share Posted March 3, 2008 Meeting your "boundaries"...showing you clearly she's no longer a part of his life...etc, etc, etc... The message would be that he's doing everything in his power to end the marriage as quickly as possible. Again, I don't understand the reasoning, but clearly you do and are comfortable with it. He is doing everything humanly possible and I wont fault him. I am happy and at the end of the day, thats all that matters. I know she is not a part of his life. I am the one that goes to the business dinners. I am the one he wines and dines. I am the one he spends his free time with. I am the one that hired the baby sitter. I am the one that hired the cleaning lady. I am the one that has the emergency credit card. I am the one spending time with his family. I am the one listed on his emergency contact. Need I say more? He is doing everything in his power to end the marriage. He made her an offer and she refused. Instead she wants to salvage whatever she thinks is left of the marriage. I dont agree with evicting her. The courts will take care of it. I am not worried, he is with most of the time. Either way she is on her way out. We have been "together" for 6 months, and he has done a lot. The message is pretty clear from my end and I am not doubting his intensions. Link to post Share on other sites
nadiaj2727 Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 They are not joint owners of the house - it is HIS house that she moved into. She has no claim on the house - he and his children do. When the divorce is heard, she will be evicted. It makes no sense for the MM to move and disrupt his children in the meantime because his stbxW refuses to move out of the house she has no right to remain in. While they are still married, she does have a right to remain in the house. She won't be "evicted" by the court (geez what a way to talk about someone's wife... she IS still his wife), the condition of her moving out of his house will be part of the divorce agreement/ order based on their prenup. Anyway, I am glad that all of the legal mumbo jumbo is cleared up because as an attorney I was about to say the same thing as Owl. Now that I understand the prenup situation the legal issue is moot but I still don't understand why he doesn't move out in the meantime, to get away from this horrible woman he doesn't want to be married to, and be with nextel whom he loves. I would not put up with the person who loves me living with another woman no matter what the circumstances. And if I were the married person in this situation I would move out to show my Love that I don't want to be married to someone else or spend one more day living with my husband from whom I am divorcing, regardless of financial reasons or any other reason. But that is just me. I put emotional ties higher than material possessions and I would have the comfortable knowledge that since that clause is in my prenup, I will have the house to myself when the divorce is finalized. Why spend another minute living with a woman he doesn't love? That is just the part I don't get, but it's not worth fighting over to me because I just know I would do it differently or I wouldn't be in the relationship. So it was just my question, not something I am trying to MAKE nextel's MM do. Link to post Share on other sites
nadiaj2727 Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 We have been "together" for 6 months, and he has done a lot. The message is pretty clear from my end and I am not doubting his intensions. Good for you. I'm glad it's working out. Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted March 4, 2008 Share Posted March 4, 2008 Why so much talk about the W being evicted or whatever? I agree with Nadia, though. If the prenup is ironclad, then he can move out without fears of being charged with abandoning his property. But they may also be living in a fault state, and they are good for not honoring prenups in cases where fault can be proven - regardless of whom is the one initially petitioning for the D. He should have his lawyer draw up a letter and then move out with the security of knowing that his house will be his again. He might find that there is a better house for him and decide to let her have it anyway. One question, though: how does one file for D while still living in the marital home? That's not possible as far as I know. In my state, you have to move out and file for the separation before the petition for D is even considered. If his state is the same, his lawyer should be advising him to find a small apartment to make his petition official. Link to post Share on other sites
Author nextel Posted March 4, 2008 Author Share Posted March 4, 2008 We are in a no fault state. The reason he wont move out is because of the children. Its not fair to move the children to an apartment when its their home they have known, the house their friends visit them at. Their school is 5 mins away. The W is not a horrible person, he just does not love her. She on the other hand wants to stay M and he does not want. Link to post Share on other sites
MimiMe Posted March 7, 2008 Share Posted March 7, 2008 Not trying to stir things up here... but after reading this lenghty convo, since market closed in NYC and life is boring! Did we all forget that OW-MM stbX W is also a member here?? Cause for the reads of it, it seems to me like that post was BOGUS! Could be that someone needed attention and acceptance... Nextel, there are children involved in this right? How do you think those kids are going to feel to have ANOTHER female in their life?? Children pay the high price of instability! and a permanent address is not exactly it. Link to post Share on other sites
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