Jealousy.............

[chichi3]

My boyfriend that i have known for a really long time and that i've been with for almost 6 months does not like my only friend that I have and my best friend because she likes mexicans. This is the stupidest reason ever cause not only is it racism but it's her decision not his and it's her business. This has been going on for a awhile and I know if i could just put an end to this we would be happy cause it's the only thing holding us back. He is a very nice guy and is the best guy that i've ever been with but he hates her so much and just will not give her a chance he always puts her down to me and it hurts me alot. If he didnt treat me the best that I have ever been treated then I would drop him and not even look back but this makes me want to be with him she has also been my best friend for 4 years and I dont want to just drop her cause he doesnt like her he basically told me to choose between her or him and that is something i just will not do and i told him that and he still doesnt understand im stuck between two people i love and i just dont know how to handle this situtation.

Edited February 1, 2008 by chichi3

[Spoonandfork22]

ok absolutely not to this guy. First of all a man should NEVER come between you are your friends. Clearly he is threatened by her for some reason or he wouldnt be acting like such an a**hole. Im glad you havent dropped your friend because of this...to do so would be a very harsh thing. Ive had friends drop me for men before and let me tell you, almost always they come back because they were dumped and are heartbroken. By that time I cant be their friend because if you are going to drop me for a GUY then i dont want your friendship anyway. Its a really sh*tty way to treat a person, IMO.

 

What you have to do is tell your immature bf to a) stop saying things about your friend b) respect that you are not going to stop being her friend simply because he cant accept her and c) let him know that if his behavior continues you will be forced to leave him and date someone who can handle their gf having friend of another race or just having friends at all.

 

 

I honestly cant believe your bf is acting like this. I guarentee if you ever told him 'hey, i dont like your friend Steve, can you stop talking to him please hes a loser" he would FLIP OUT on you and tell you to stop controlling him.

 

This issue is completely in your hands. I hope that you choose to stick with your freindship and not with this guy. As I stated above, no guy that is worth it will ever a) judge your friends or b) tell you to give up you friends. Thats such a disgusting thing to ask of someone.

 

I wish you luck with this and I hope you remain the good friend you have been.

[sally4sara]

He may treat you better than anyone you've been with, but sometimes that isn't saying a whole lot. I am divorced. I dated much better men than my ex after we split. I was treated better in those relationships, but it doesn't mean I was getting treated the way I should. It just means that my ex and your exes were just REALLY bad.

Anyone you should be with will treat you well AND not be a hateful and controlling person to you and your friends. Just because, for the most part, he is nice to you doesn't earn him a trophy. He is suppose to treat you well. That's like bragging about never going to jail or paying your bills.

Think about this. He is wanting you to get rid of a long time friend because of HER choices in men. What does her choices in men have to do with you and the relationship he has with you? Is he worried she will get you to cheat with these men? If so then his issue isn't with her. It's with you because he doesn't respect your character enough to think you won't do that. If you get rid of her, he will find something new to rant about and so on till your relationship is nothing but you jumping through his hoops.

 

I bold typed the the part that you should be focusing on.