momto4boys Posted February 1, 2008 Share Posted February 1, 2008 A recap: New Years Eve a woman my husband works with was visiting her friend who is our next door neighbor and saw my oldest son outside watching the fireworks. She said "Go get your dad. I want to say hi to him". So, my son comes in and says "There is this lady outside named Paula who wants to say hi to you". So, he says to me "come outside with me". He went out and I came out a minute later and just then she was throwing her arms around him. When she saw me, she stopped and said "Hi, I'm Paula. He's a CUTIE!" about my husband. I just smiled. What I should have said was "duh whore, I know that, he's my HUSBAND!" Anyway, I told him later that I didn't get a good vibe from her one bit so he has stayed away from her at work. Luckily, he doesn't have to deal with her much. Well, Monday I went up to his office with our 2 year old to have lunch with him. On my way to the restroom in the hallway near his office, she saw me and smiled and quickly looked down. Then she came into the lunchroom and looked right at me and looked down again. Everyone in there was talking to my 2 year old and playing with him. Then my husband came in and sat down with us to eat. She didn't once say hello, acknowledge my son, nothing. Then, she left. The next day she came into my husbands office and said "was that your wife and son? I didn't realize it was her until you were walking her out. You baby is adorable". Okay, she met me on New Years and was not so drunk that she couldn't have remembered me. My husband told me that he laughed after she left his office because as he put it "of course she knew that was you, who else would I be sitting with that has a baby in the lunchroom?" My mom and sister figure that she probably was too embarrassed by her distasteful behavior on new year's eve to say anything to me and was looking for way to excuse her rude behavior to my husband. Anyway, like Faith Hill said "someone needs to teach you some class my friend!". Unfortunately, there are so many women who prey on married men, so class obviously can't be or isn't taught to some! I guess I'm just shocked that she could be so blatant and disrespectful to our marriage and family. Anyway, my question is, should I say anything to her, or just let it go since my husband and I are on to her games? Thanks for any advice!! Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaXOXO Posted February 1, 2008 Share Posted February 1, 2008 Anyway, my question is, should I say anything to her, or just let it go since my husband and I are on to her games? Thanks for any advice!! Absolutely not. Your husband handled the situation like a complete gentleman all on his own without putting you in the position of playing defense at the risk of your own dignity and integrity. HIM stepping up in your behalf (calling you outside to join him) was a subtle and oh-so-effective way to get the message across without either of you being forced into an awkward position. What the two of you are doing (without even realizing it) is presenting a strong united front. No one can penetrate that if both of you stick to it. And believe me, that will deflate someone’s sails a helluva lot faster than anything either one of you can say or do on your own. Good job! Great marriage!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author momto4boys Posted February 1, 2008 Author Share Posted February 1, 2008 Thank you EnigmaXOXO. You give good advice. I just can't believe that there are people in this world who can actually justify coming on to someone who is wearing a wedding ring! I take my marriage very seriously and would go to great lengths to defend it, but hopefully she'll get the hint and take her trashy self out and find an available man! Link to post Share on other sites
Phateless Posted February 1, 2008 Share Posted February 1, 2008 She has a crush on him, but he (and you) handled it excellently. This guy sounds like a keeper. Just be normal to her. Link to post Share on other sites
Blue Eyed Brain Posted February 1, 2008 Share Posted February 1, 2008 He knows what she wants but does not want her, hence, the reason for you coming out with him. It was his way of letting her know, "no way." Do nothing. He's got it covered. Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaXOXO Posted February 1, 2008 Share Posted February 1, 2008 Actually, THANK YOU for presenting such a wonderful alternative to how these situations can be tactfully handled before it ever escalates into a real problem for a couple. First, you’ve got a wonderful family to turn to who supports you. Second, you and your husband communicate very well and seem to work great together as a team. And the fact that you get together and do lunches as a family means that you have already established positive relationship rituals that will reinforce those family bonds and create positive memories for your children. No better way than through example to teach your kids what a healthy relationship and family is supposed to be all about! YOU and your husband should be the ones giving the relationship advice around here!! :laugh: Link to post Share on other sites
Author momto4boys Posted February 1, 2008 Author Share Posted February 1, 2008 Thanks for the kind words, really I appreciate it. But, we've had our share of problems, believe me. We've gone through some rough patches, but I think we believe in our marriage and the commitment we have to our family enough to weather through them. He and I have both made our share of mistakes, nothing deal breakers. But I did not have the best of examples growing up as to what marriage is all about, so I have had to make my own way. What I know is this, in order to really truly enjoy and appreciate the good times, you have to go through the bad times and work through them no matter how difficult. I mean we haven't had to deal with affairs or anything, but we somehow always make it through. I guess this whole thing just rattled me because I always, always try to see the good in everybody, and to think that someone could have such disregard for a family unit just makes me sad. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for your sage advice Link to post Share on other sites
SamZamboni Posted February 1, 2008 Share Posted February 1, 2008 Do nada. Things would probably been a lot better had you accompanied your hubby out the door to say hello, rather than lag behind a minute or so. No worries though. This is definitely one of those don't fix what isn't broken deals. Besides, you've already given this "lady" more of your time than she warrants. Link to post Share on other sites
Author momto4boys Posted February 1, 2008 Author Share Posted February 1, 2008 Had I known that this person (I certainly wouldn't call her a "lady") was trying to put the moves on my man, I would have come out sooner, but my 6 year old was on the couch half asleep and I was covering him with a blanket and then I put my shoes on. I had no idea that someone would be so low as to do that in front of our family's home. Sure she wouldn't have had the opportunity to throw her arms around him, but I'm sure her motives would have become apparent in some other way. Anyway, I'm going to take your advice and just do nothing. She's trash and doesn't deserve any more of my time! Link to post Share on other sites
OWoman Posted February 2, 2008 Share Posted February 2, 2008 This all because she hugged him? Wow. Where I work, people hug colleagues all the time, never mind New Year - single, married, same sex or opposite sex - and no one loses sleep over it. And maybe she genuinely forgot what the W looked like - that happens. I only remember those people who make an impression. I think this kind of over-reaction spells serious insecurity. Link to post Share on other sites
Author momto4boys Posted February 2, 2008 Author Share Posted February 2, 2008 Owoman, meaning other woman, right? Hmmmm, and you're proud of that fact enough to make that your screen name? Anyway, it was the way she hugged him and jerked away when she saw me and the tone of her voice when she said "he's cute". Honey, it is called woman's intuition, not insecurity. Obviously scruples aren't part of certain peoples value systems. Hugging is one thing, and plenty of women have "hugged" him with absolutely no problem from me. Women who prey on other women's husbands are as transparent as the day is long and don't deserve the time of day. Enough said... Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted February 2, 2008 Share Posted February 2, 2008 I have to agree that she probably has a crush on him... but HE doesn't... I would bet anything that, let's say he would have been attracted to her, he wouldn't have asked you to come out.. He's obviously not attracted to her so he doesn't mind you in the picture... and that way, he secures your confidence in him... verrry smart guy.. Link to post Share on other sites
OWoman Posted February 2, 2008 Share Posted February 2, 2008 Owoman, meaning other woman, right? Hmmmm, and you're proud of that fact enough to make that your screen name? Anyway, it was the way she hugged him and jerked away when she saw me and the tone of her voice when she said "he's cute". Honey, it is called woman's intuition, not insecurity. Obviously scruples aren't part of certain peoples value systems. Hugging is one thing, and plenty of women have "hugged" him with absolutely no problem from me. Women who prey on other women's husbands are as transparent as the day is long and don't deserve the time of day. Enough said... suspicion proven, thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Author momto4boys Posted February 2, 2008 Author Share Posted February 2, 2008 Thanks Lizzie60, I agree 100%. You also give great advice. I appreciate all the positive feedback--I really do. You guys are awesome Link to post Share on other sites
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