Is this FWB or something more?

[MakeItReal]

Hey guys and gals!

I've been dating this really great guy for about 2 months now. We've spent almost every weekend with each other. We chill at my place or we go out somewhere and have dinner or drinks or catch a movie. I love spending time with him and he tells me how much he enjoys and appreciates my company. The sex is GREAT!!! He shows me a lot of affection...we snuggle and cuddle, he caresses my face, he never leaves without hugging me or kissing me. He calls me everyday. He's supportive and encouraging. He's just wonderful so far...and that's what scares me.

 

I feel so good with him. He seems pretty honest and I really appreciate that. He's upfront with me and I am the same way with him.

 

I'm developing really strong feelings for him but I hold back because we both said we didn't want relationships right now and I don't want to do anything that may turn him away or scare him off. I just got out of a REALLY bad one a few months ago and he's been burned a time or two before also. I think he has some feelings for me too... How can I really know???

 

This is kind of a new experience for me. First of all, I am 6 years older than he is. I'm just starting to date again after an 7-8 year relationship. I feel like I've been "out of the game" so long that maybe I don't know how guys are these days... I'm so worried about whether he really like me or not or whether this is just what guys do....

 

Help me please....I'd appreciate your advice and opinions.

 

Thanks!

[LoveLace]

Sounds like far more than FWB to me. It just hasn't been labeled as "exclusive", that's all. Otherwise seems like a perfect package...calling you everyday, etc..it's obvious he's way into you, if you ask me. I say just go with the flow and enjoy what happens. If the subject comes up, let him know you don't feel comfortable jumping into a serious thing yet, but you like it all enough to keep hanging. I'm sure your realize 2 months is nothing compared to 7 years, so give the whole thing time to develop itself, while not feeling trapped at the same time. It sounds as though the communication is good, so as long that remains I don't see a problem.

[Meaplus3]

Hey guys and gals!

I've been dating this really great guy for about 2 months now. We've spent almost every weekend with each other. We chill at my place or we go out somewhere and have dinner or drinks or catch a movie. I love spending time with him and he tells me how much he enjoys and appreciates my company. The sex is GREAT!!! He shows me a lot of affection...we snuggle and cuddle, he caresses my face, he never leaves without hugging me or kissing me. He calls me everyday. He's supportive and encouraging. He's just wonderful so far...and that's what scares me.

 

I feel so good with him. He seems pretty honest and I really appreciate that. He's upfront with me and I am the same way with him.

 

I'm developing really strong feelings for him but I hold back because we both said we didn't want relationships right now and I don't want to do anything that may turn him away or scare him off. I just got out of a REALLY bad one a few months ago and he's been burned a time or two before also. I think he has some feelings for me too... How can I really know???

 

This is kind of a new experience for me. First of all, I am 6 years older than he is. I'm just starting to date again after an 7-8 year relationship. I feel like I've been "out of the game" so long that maybe I don't know how guys are these days... I'm so worried about whether he really like me or not or whether this is just what guys do....

 

Help me please....I'd appreciate your advice and opinions.

 

Thanks!

 

Hi, It sound's very much to me like... he really likes you. Goodness, if I were you I wold sort of just roll with it here. As long as the two of you enjoy one another's company..then that's a great sign. Stay positive.. and enjoy. Hug's!

 

AP:)

[Ziahnamarillo]

Hi,

 

Thanks so much for your responses.

I've got an update...

Over the weekend, the "discussion" came up (I didn't bring it up). Mr. Great Guy asked me if I really liked him and I said YES! He then proceeded to ask if I liked him 'just as a friend'...because he just wants to 'make sure that I understand that he does not want a relationship or commitment' right now. So of course I said that I understood but deep down, I felt disappointed and maybe even a little hurt but I didn't let him see that I was feeling that way.

 

I am not really familiar at all with the whole FWB situation. It just seems like his words don't match his actions. Maybe that's just my wishful/hopeful thinking? Can you enlighten me on this whole FWB thing please?

 

Any suggestions?

[blind_otter]

I've had a few FWB relationships and the important thing is to set ground rules from the beginning. IMO you should establish boundaries so you don't get hurt. If he doesn't want a relationship, that's fine, but he should NOT be acting all lovey dovey and touchy feely if he doesn't want to make a committment.

 

JMO. I'm just saying, you should sit down and say that he's giving mixed signals and it's hard to keep emotions and physical interactions separate when he acts that way.

 

When I had FWB I had certain hard and fast rules - no kissing on the mouth, no cuddling after sex, no holding hands or talking about "the future" - if it really is a FWB interaction, there's no need for all that stuff.

[NiceGirlcomeslast]

I don't like to come on here and compare everyone's lives to my own, but I recently came out of a relationship where we said we didn't want a relationship we were just hanging out having fun. It was exclusive from day one but it was undefined.

 

We were incredibly intimate kisses, caresses, hand holding, romantic dinners and stuff, but it still wasn't a relationship it was fine.

 

We went on holiday together, but it still wasn't a relationship, it was fine.

 

The thing is I think in my heart of hearts I knew I wanted a relationship and I think I thought I could sneak in through the back door, that if I could get him to fall for me then he would be ok with a relationship.

 

So I got exactly what I wanted he fell in love with me, and it made him realise that he was in a relationship and that scared him and reminded him that he had good reasons not to want to be in a relationship so he broke up with me. I went from the girl he was hanging out with to his ex-girlfriend.

 

I am not saying that this is going to happen with you, I pray that it doesn't because it hurts like hell. But I think that if he doesn't want a relationship you can't change his mind and he wont change his mind for you. If his situation changes and he decides he wants a commitment then cool but if not you need to decide whether FWB is really enough for you.

 

And if FWB is what you want then I suggest you listen to blind_otter it will save a lot of heartbreak

[Ziahnamarillo]

Hi everyone! Thanks for all your advice and opinions, I really appreciate them.

 

Well, some time has lapsed since my last post...and things have progressed or maybe I should say REGRESSED to a completely different level. We've been living together since some time in February. The affection has declined considerably...not much hugging or kissing...not much sex either! I'm wondering if the "living together" situation is a part of the problem... He's started a new job and he works from 5pm to 3am...I work during the day 8am - 5pm. I leave early in the morning and he's gone by the time I get home so I don't really see him until 3 or 4 in the morning when he gets off. I've talked to him about the "decline" in certain activities and he says he's adjusting to his new job and the hours etc and I can completely understand that. We haven't been out in a while and on his day off he usually hangs out with his guy friends which I understand as well. But it just bothers me that we don't go anywhere, we don't really do anything together anymore... I'm not as great at communicating my feelings and my reaction lately has been to get angry at him. Things were cool with us before he started this new job...could it really be that he's adjusting to everything??? Am I expecting too much from him? He'll be moving out at the end of this month. He got an apartment in the same development that I live in...I just want things to be cool again between me and him before he leaves. Should I back off a bit? Are there any suggestions as far as what I can do to get things at least close to what they were? I just feel like he switched on me and I don't know how to deal with that.