He parents wont let me see her

[leetchris]

Ive been dateing this girl i meet at church for about 9 months and we reall hit it off i can honestly say that i love her and she loves me.

 

Well her parents never really liked me but let us see each other anyways but one day they went through all of her stuff benning note and e-mails i wrote her and some of it said some things that they didnt like which was us talking about sex and other things to that nature so when i got home from work my mom told me that her mom called and told her that she isnt going to allow us to see each other anymore i was pissed i didnt know why or nothing so about a half our later i decided to wal to her house which was on the coldes day of the year and it took my 3 and half hours to get there but i didnt it when i got there i ask her mom if i could talk to her(her mom) and she said no you need to leave so i walked back home.

 

well she would call me from school and give notes to her friends to give to me but one of her frineds didnt like me so she said something to her mom and they pressed charges on her well i went to church the next 2 nights and on the 2 night she was there but i wasnt aloud to talk to her or nothing so when they let out i was in the front watting on my ride and she came running outside ran up to me a gave me a hug so i huged her back then her dad came storming out the door yelling gett off her and grabed her by the arm and jerked her away so i pushed up my sleves and said you hurt her and your going to regreat it and he keep yelling come on hit me hit me so i can press charges and so on and so on...

 

so i punched the piller thingy and started walking out to the car and then the was walking behinde me still yelling and i walked up to a tree and punched it a few time and broke my hand (I know bad ideal) well then they press charges on me contributeing to a minor benning unruleing it was a misdamenter 1

 

well i havent talked to her in about 4 months but ive seen her and court a couple time and i still love her and i won in court but they put a restainorder on me so know i cant talk to her at all but when she goes over the her cusings house like 2 3 times a month we talk on a cell phone.I know this girl still loves me and i still lover her very much and i will wait on her but she is 15 about to turn 16 and im 16 so it will be 2 years before she 18 and we can see each other again unless her parents say we can what should i do is there anything i can do...Please help

[Baldy]

I can only go on what you have said, but the parents seem very harsh. I'm not very clued up on US law, as I come from the UK and things are different here - but getting a restraining order does seem very extreme to say the least.

 

As I see it you have three options:

 

1. Try to talk to her family. This is obviously going to be very hard to do from what you say, but try. Come to some sort of agreement (if that's possible) saying how you feel about her. And if it means not being with her how you would like (maybe one of the parents comes on a date to check everything is above board for instance) then surly that is better then nothing and losing her. Go with there rules for now. This shows you are willing to sacrifice something for her! A letter would be the best way to communicate for now. That way they can't slam the door in your face, hang up the phone etc. A letter can be read later, over and over etc. Copy it though if you do send it, as they may say you are harassing them and if you have a copy of the letter, you have proof you're not!

 

2. Move on, leave it, forget about her. There are many more girls out there. Ones where you won't have this trouble!

 

3. Move here to the UK. You only have to be 16 before you can move out, set up home together, leave school, get married etc - bit extreme but it's an option

[HokeyReligions]

There is obviously a lot you are leaving out.

 

Firstly, you are underage it’s your responsibility to listen to and mind your parents & the same for the girl.

 

Secondly, if your letters/emails have subjects or words that are offensive to the girls’ parents, or that her parents feel she is too young for, or feel she needs to be protected from, it is their right and responsibility to do just that.

 

Thirdly, if some behavior on your part, or from any of the other people you have mentioned, has in fact initiated a restraining order or other legal action, then this has gone far beyond “young love” and you, the girl, and whoever else is involved should seek some counseling and help.

 

Lastly, you have mentioned “church” several times. I am going to assume that you mean a Christian based faith. In every Christian faith that I know of, respecting your parents (elders) is one of the core principles (honor they mother and thy father) and your claim that you threatened the girls father hints to me, that you may have some mental/emotional problems that need to be addressed by a professional.

 

If you are exhibiting any type of violent tendencies, I don’t blame the girl’s parents for splitting you two up. I would too, and rather her be angry with me then risk her being hurt or dead.

 

On the other hand, this may all be a false story because you are young and hurt and parents have split up you and your girlfriend and it seems worse to you than it really is. You may be venting your frustration and claiming events that really didn’t happen to you. If so, get over it. Move on.

 

Besides, there are not many couples who get together at such a young age and stay together for very long, or permanently.

[BillG]

Leetchris,

 

I have to agree with HoyKeyReligions that you are too young to be in such a situation. Don't let the physical attraction be your definition of Love.

 

Love is something that is built over time, with conversation, learning each others strengths and weekness, pleasures, displeasures and building a trusting relationship.

 

The physical part is your immaturity coming to the surface. You will grow out of that, respond to the pain you feel, if you are religious, with prayer not violence.

 

You will get thru it, be patient. Be thankful for the time you could spend with this lady and move on.

 

Each parent has a responsibility to protect their child from the cruelty that could befall them, so don't blame them for being harsh. Too many parents give up too easy and then have to suffer the pains later on.

 

If this relationship is for real it will resurface when you both can legally get together.

 

Best of luck and keep the faith.