hellome Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 Fiance and I are getting married in 70 days. His ex-wife and he have a teenage son. She never wanted her son involved in dad's life until recently--NOW that he's changed his life and is getting married. Out of the blue, she called my fiance this weekend and lets him know son is failing a school subject and is smoking pot--she says she doesn't want to cancel a family vacation scheduled this coming weekend in Hollywood, Ca.--four hours from where we live--and wants to know if she can drop son off with us to babysit for the four days. Basically, this means me (who has only met the child once as fiance works full time). I know she definitely has friends and family closer to the son than me who could watch over him closer to home..They live thousands of miles away from us. Why would she put this on us? What do you think? Why would she ask us without hardly giving us any notice, and she knows we're overloaded wedding planning a long distance wedding... Because of the poor timing, is it okay if we opt to pick up the child and spend an entire day with him? Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 IMO the son should come first. JMO, though, take it with a grain of salt. Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 How is it that the "family vacation" doesn't include the son? And how does his pot smoking and subject-failing factor into this - would he normally get to go on the family vacation, but now he's being punished by staying home? Either way, yes, it sounds wierd, but I would think the focus should be less on the babysitting/vacation issue than the issues of (1) fiancee and XW agreeing what role fiancee is going to take in his son's life, and whether that is going to change now, and (2) subject to that discussion, subsequently figuring out how to help him get straightened out. "She never wanted her son involved in dad's life until recently..." How did she enforce this? What did he want? Did he want to be involved in his son's life, but she somehow prevented him, or did they agree that he would step out of their lives or what? Link to post Share on other sites
Author hellome Posted February 4, 2008 Author Share Posted February 4, 2008 (edited) Yes, he was supposed to be included in the family vacation, but now his mom wants to punish him by not allowing him on trip...It's not like he hasn't failed in in school before or been caught smoking pot. There are other ways to punish him like just cancelling the whole vacation altogether. Instead, she's thrown this last-minute babysitting thing on us to watch over him and our schedule doesn't permit us to give all this time...(FYI: ex has full custody) Edited February 4, 2008 by hellome Link to post Share on other sites
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