Leslie Posted February 16, 2000 Share Posted February 16, 2000 I've been with my guy for almost a year and a half now. We've been off and on, and he's has cheated numerous times before. Ever since we got back together about 5 months ago he has not. He has really changed. Though I can not forget what he has done from the past. I don't know how to trust. Other people are always trying to break us up by spreading rumors, etc. And so many girls like him and page him "I love you." and write him love letters. I know in my heart he loves me and wants to be with me, but I need to know how to trust him. I am sick of worrying about what he is doing every second of every day...I want to trust him. Any ideas? Please help...i'm driving myself crazy. Link to post Share on other sites
Jamie Posted February 16, 2000 Share Posted February 16, 2000 I've been with my guy for almost a year and a half now. We've been off and on, and he's has cheated numerous times before. Ever since we got back together about 5 months ago he has not. He has really changed. Though I can not forget what he has done from the past. I don't know how to trust. Other people are always trying to break us up by spreading rumors, etc. And so many girls like him and page him "I love you." and write him love letters. I know in my heart he loves me and wants to be with me, but I need to know how to trust him. I am sick of worrying about what he is doing every second of every day...I want to trust him. Any ideas? Please help...i'm driving myself crazy. Don't be nieve. Your man must be doing things to encourage these love letters he is getting. No one wants to write love letters to someone who would in all likely hood reject them. If he was in to you in the right way, these other girls would think I better not make a fool of myself and proposition him. Would you write love letters to a guy who was really into his girlfriend even if you thought you really liked him. History has a habit of repeating itself. Be very careful. It is a natural and good thing not to trust him. He hasn't earned your trust. and a relationship can't work without trust. Follow your instincts. They won't steer you wrong. Good luck in all you do, girlfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
asia Posted February 16, 2000 Share Posted February 16, 2000 We are both in the same situation, i got back with my ex about 2 months ago and all these women are calling him. He said he loves me but i still can't trust him. (Read the issue, my ex is a loser, posted by asia) His cell phone rings non stop. His circle of friends includes his ex's and mostly women he slept with. When his phone ring and its another woman, he expect me not to get jealous but when one of my male friends call he gets so jealous. (double standards) Get rid of him, you know the saying "If he cheated once he can do it again"...find someone better. There's a lot of them out there (good ones, not jerks). What does he do for a living, or what type of friends does he hang out with? Don't be nieve. Your man must be doing things to encourage these love letters he is getting. No one wants to write love letters to someone who would in all likely hood reject them. If he was in to you in the right way, these other girls would think I better not make a fool of myself and proposition him. Would you write love letters to a guy who was really into his girlfriend even if you thought you really liked him. History has a habit of repeating itself. Be very careful. It is a natural and good thing not to trust him. He hasn't earned your trust. and a relationship can't work without trust. Follow your instincts. They won't steer you wrong. Good luck in all you do, girlfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
Heather Posted February 16, 2000 Share Posted February 16, 2000 We are both in the same situation, i got back with my ex about 2 months ago and all these women are calling him. He said he loves me but i still can't trust him. (Read the issue, my ex is a loser, posted by asia) His cell phone rings non stop. His circle of friends includes his ex's and mostly women he slept with. When his phone ring and its another woman, he expect me not to get jealous but when one of my male friends call he gets so jealous. (double standards) Get rid of him, you know the saying "If he cheated once he can do it again"...find someone better. There's a lot of them out there (good ones, not jerks). What does he do for a living, or what type of friends does he hang out with? Stop trying to hang on to something that doesn't want to be held on to. We have all gone through situations where our "love" has not been recipricated and although you would like to think that the reason for his dishonesty to you is because of something else that someone else is doing but you couldn't be more wrong. Put the blame where it belongs be stronger than this don't be the one that everyone points their finger at and says "oh my that poor girl, she worships the ground he walks on and what does he do? he fools around on her every chance he gets! Now I hear she's pregnant... the poor thing!" If you want this to be you, please continue on the way your'e going. It won't be long before he totally destroys you. I apologize for being so harsh, but I wish I would have listened when this advice was given to me, now I have a 17 year old and I'm only 34. Link to post Share on other sites
Leslie Posted February 18, 2000 Share Posted February 18, 2000 So should I just leave? We both are so in love. I am so sure of that. Is not possible for him to change? i know that it sounds all fishy about the love letters and the "i love you.." pages ,but I want to spend the rest of my life with this guy. Is leaving the only option, or is there a choice? I don't think I am ready to leave him....what to do...what to do...I don't know what he would have to do though to make me believe him...i mean why would girls be paging him I love you if he didn't have any feelings for them whatsover???Please write back...I need advice from someone older and more experienced Link to post Share on other sites
Shirley Posted February 20, 2000 Share Posted February 20, 2000 I've been with my guy for almost a year and a half now. We've been off and on, and he's has cheated numerous times before. Ever since we got back together about 5 months ago he has not. He has really changed. Though I can not forget what he has done from the past. I don't know how to trust. Other people are always trying to break us up by spreading rumors, etc. And so many girls like him and page him "I love you." and write him love letters. I know in my heart he loves me and wants to be with me, but I need to know how to trust him. I am sick of worrying about what he is doing every second of every day...I want to trust him. Any ideas? Please help...i'm driving myself crazy. Hi There! First, I'd like to say that if you aren't married to this man, then he's not cheating. Unless you both have made a verbal commitment to each other, saying you aren't going to sleep with anyone else. As far as trusting him, that's all up to you. It has to do with your feelings. Trust is more of a gut feeling than anything else. Sex is very important to men. And they don't have a difficult time at all, separating sex and love. According to them, sex and love are two separate things. Which is the opposite of how many women think. They think of sex and love as being two things that automatically go together. Link to post Share on other sites
Heather Posted February 21, 2000 Share Posted February 21, 2000 Hi There! First, I'd like to say that if you aren't married to this man, then he's not cheating. Unless you both have made a verbal commitment to each other, saying you aren't going to sleep with anyone else. As far as trusting him, that's all up to you. It has to do with your feelings. Trust is more of a gut feeling than anything else. Sex is very important to men. And they don't have a difficult time at all, separating sex and love. According to them, sex and love are two separate things. Which is the opposite of how many women think. They think of sex and love as being two things that automatically go together. Shirley, How can you say that just because someone is not married to a person that if he sleeps with someone else it's o.k. Or unless you have a verbal agreement if the person sleeps with someone else it's o.k. also ????? I'm sorry but this really upsets me, obviously you are a person who doesn't committ easily you like to keep your options open maybe? Also if you are only playing "devils advocate" at least have the courtesy to tell the person you are doing so. Otherwise I don't think what you said is fair. Link to post Share on other sites
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