Ruthieo01 Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 I have been in a LDR for about 2 months now, actually it will be 2 month on Valentines day Well I love this man with my whole heart, I know we are perfect for each other and I know that he has told me in the past that he feels the same way. We were together over New Years and during that visit, he tells me how much he wants to marry me and how when he begins to build his house he wants me to help him because one day I will be part of it with him, even after he left he would still continue to say things about us and the future and being married. Well the past couple of weeks I have noticed that he hasn't really said much about marriage or the future. I usually don't bring up the topic because I don't want him to feel that I am pressuring him, since the relationship is so new. Also we are both a part of a 'my space' thing and I have noticed that if I comment on his page something cute, he doesn't really comment back. The other day I sent him this really sweet little email about how I missed him and how glad I was to have him in my life. He never said anything about, didn't reply back or anything. I don't what’s going on, I feel like he is ignoring me. My sister told me that a couple of weeks ago he called for my ring size. Which doesn't add up? Could this just be him getting nervous, or do you think this is him pulling away from me? I am a little nervous and probably have a guard up anyway because a couple of years ago I was engaged to a guys who broke up with me over the phone 3 months before wedding. I am scared that it is going to happen again. But I don't want to put past fears on a relationship with him, if that makes sense. I feel that he loves me and wants to be with me I just am lost as to how to act or what to do? I should also add that he has been sick for a good solid week. Really sick! Thanks for all your help! Sorry so long Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 You need to tone it down a little bit. You are freaking this guy out. Two months is not a long time to decide if you want to marry somebody. Quit going to his myspace and quit calling him so much. You are coming off to be extremely clingy. When he was sick what did you do to make him feel better? Does he know how your last relationship ended? Personally I wouldn't talk about marriage to somebody I met just two months ago. I would wonder how they could love me when they barely even know me. Link to post Share on other sites
Nevermind Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 You have been together for 2 months and you are already talking about marriage? You have seen him once and he brought up marriage and he wanted you to help him build a house? You are a myspace couple? Are you calling each other? If he called a couple of weeks ago, that means he basically called a couple of days after you got together? Has he called since? Are you sure this is a relationship? Sorry for being so harsh, but marriage after 2 months, my space couple, building a house talk on the first meeting...sounds not so great for me. Take care, ok? You might get hurt. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ruthieo01 Posted February 4, 2008 Author Share Posted February 4, 2008 No we see each other just about every weekend maybe every other weekend. We have been going back and forth to see each other since the beginning of November. He calls me every night, and I don't got to his page everyday. I'm talking maybe once in the past week or two. I don't bring up marriage or the future unless he talks about it. He is way more into it than me. I am very careful not to be to clingly, don't get me wrong I have my faults but he has always been the one to bring it up not me. I guess since he was so talkative about it before, and now he is not, is that a sign I should be worried about or not? Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 I guess since he was so talkative about it before, and now he is not, is that a sign I should be worried about or not? Seeing how he asked your sister about ring size I say there's a proposal coming your way and he wants to keep quiet about it now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ruthieo01 Posted February 4, 2008 Author Share Posted February 4, 2008 So you think that could be why he isn't saying anything about it? I just get a very different vibe from him lately? Probably just me being over worried. I have to remind myself to just relax every now and then. Thanks for you input Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 I have to remind myself to just relax every now and then. Yeah just relax. When the time is right he will ask you. Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 Ruthie, you are going to talk and worry yourself right out of this relationship if you don't tone it down some. Seriously! All that lovey dovey falling in love and butterflies in the stomach thing in the beginning can lead to some very illogical decision making processes. Chances are he really meant what he said because he was giddy and high on love, but as reality sets in the high comes down and he doesn't seem as enthusiastic about it. I don't think its anything to worry about per se but I do think that it will be something to worry about it you keep trying to push him on the marriage thing. If he has already gotten the ring, he may just be a little freaked out by the reality of the whole thing. Give him a little time on this. Don't ask about engagement, your ring or marriage. Be happy with your relationship and show him that you are happy with him. Otherwise you may just convince him that you are not in love with him - you are in love with the idea of marriage. Guys don't do too well with that. You will need to prepare yourself for the possibility that he could be backing out of the whole marriage thing altogether. I'm not saying that you should bank on that, or brace yourself for a breakup but I am saying that every possibility should be considered lest you find yourself blindsided in the end. A little bit of caution never hurt anyone. In fact, its saved more asses in the end than one I would wager. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ruthieo01 Posted February 4, 2008 Author Share Posted February 4, 2008 Thanks I know I worry way too much. I am really trying to do better. Link to post Share on other sites
TMichaels Posted February 5, 2008 Share Posted February 5, 2008 (edited) I have been in a LDR for about 2 months now, actually it will be 2 month on Valentines day But, from your responses to OPs, we're talking about a total of three months the two of you have been "in a relationship, right?" The other day I sent him this really sweet little email about how I missed him and how glad I was to have him in my life. He never said anything about, didn't reply back or anything. I don't what’s going on, I feel like he is ignoring me... I should also add that he has been sick for a good solid week. Really sick! Well, if that's true, then why are you surprised he hasn't been "himself" lately? I am a little nervous and probably have a guard up anyway because a couple of years ago I was engaged to a guys who broke up with me over the phone 3 months before wedding. I am scared that it is going to happen again. But I don't want to put past fears on a relationship with him, if that makes sense. Makes perfect sense. But, that's exactly what you are doing right now by pondering and "what-iffing" the relationship to death. You need to stop letting the past get in the way of your future -- the sooner the better! I feel that he loves me and wants to be with me I just am lost as to how to act or what to do? Well, for one... stop focusing on your insecurities for the moment, and focus on your relationship -- especially him. You said he has been sick, right? Have you called/emailed/IMd him to let him know you love him and that you hope he's feeling better? Is there anything you can do -- i.e. send him a "Care Package" that would be light-hearted and fun, yet conveys your care and concern? As OPs have already cautioned you about, you and this guy have gone from zero to 60 in record time. On one hand, that's lovely -- but, on the other hand, the two of you have covered a lot of ground awfully fast. Give yourself AND him a break, and let the relationship unfold at its own speed, and realize that plans discussed in the rush of "young love" aren't wedding vows. You might want to consider: Yesterday is history Tomorrow's a mystery But today is a gift That's why it's called "the present" If things are meant to be, they will be. In the meantime, step back, chill out, and be loving and supportive to your sweetie who's feeling poorly at the moment, and enjoy the gift that you are to each other's lives. Best, TMichaels Edited February 5, 2008 by TMichaels Link to post Share on other sites
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