Broncfan56 Posted February 6, 2008 Share Posted February 6, 2008 well i posted here once before adn you guys were alot of help so im back for more advise. my wife and i have been having some issues for a while now. about 6 months back she took off adn insisted that we get a divorce. she eventually came back, adn now she packed my things adn asked me to leave. she did this because she believed that i was cheating on her. i was not doing cheating, but she wouldnt listen. it is now a month since i left. i call her everyday to make sure she is ok. we interact, go on dates, adn occasionally spant the night. but a week back she said that she wanted to seperate that she wasnt ready to get back together but not ready to break divorce. she said that is not what she wants. when she told me this i said that she had 2 choices; either we get back together and try to work things out, or we seperate, adn if we did that i would date other people. she said ok adn we seperated. friday she decided that she "couldnt handle me going out with other people." so without any warning or note she swallowed a couple bottles of pills. from what the doctors tell me her liver is damaged pretty bad but still working. now i would be by her side in a heartbeat to do my best to help her through this, adn will be no matter what becasue i just cant leave her right now i love adn care for her too much, but the kicker is that one of her "clients" from work (fyi she decided a while ago to be a stripper becasue it was good money... i absolutly hate it has torn our relationship to pieces.) called her said she sounded funny on the phone so he went to our place adn picked her up adn took her to the hospital. i am greatful for this... he saved her life, but my problem is why did this guy have my wifes number adn why in the hell did he know where we lived? this is killing me. i have only talked to her once since this happened adn we only talked about what happened adn where she was going. after we talk i found out the whole story but i dont have any explaination from her, and dont know if i need one. i tried to go visit her but they said she doesnt want to see me. i dont know what to do right now. any advise would be helpful Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted February 6, 2008 Share Posted February 6, 2008 Ouch..Your wife has some serious problems. All you can do is give her space. She knows you love her and right now she's messed up and allowing some other guy around to make her feel good. Trust me, once that wears off and she gets the help she needs (pyscho therapy and meds) she'll open up to you again. Be there for her when she calls, but don't get involved until she asks. Easier said than done, I know. Do you two have kids? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Broncfan56 Posted February 6, 2008 Author Share Posted February 6, 2008 no no kids. we always thought maybe one day but now i dont know if i could really trust her with the life of my children. i never thought i would say that, adn i know it sounds horrible but that is how i feel now Link to post Share on other sites
onward Posted February 6, 2008 Share Posted February 6, 2008 (edited) Consider that your wife has been having an affair for some time now (EA but likely PA). Brutal I know, but folks were telling me this about my situation and I refused to listen to them -- then, lo-and-behold, there it is and things just made much more "sense" all the pieces fit into place. Consider that her yo-yo behavior was a reflection of her relationship with OM. When things were good with him she went away from you for 6 months, when he was unavailable or things were bad she came back to you. You were a good backup, just in case. Consider also that the night of her attempt she may have been on the phone with OM, but things were not looking up in that call with him, and this after she knows that you two are clearly splitting. Now Mr. reality hits her... she has no one, so she decides to off herself. She may have even told the OM that she is killing herself to get his attention. Thus his timely "call." Question: If she is not being comforted by you right now, who is giving her support? Out of decency and the fact that you are her husband, you need to be available. But also find some quiet space to find out what you really want. If you want to give it a go with her, then make sure she is willing to do some real work on herself, work hard on the relationship, your intimacy and connection. IMHO *any* attempt to move forward would have to include finding a new line of work (at minimum because this career path hurts you emotionally and is literally killing you guys. If a partner cares about the other they would understand this.) I have to ask though... is this what you want for your life? You have no kids, minimal baggage, splitting now might be best. Take care [of you]. Edited February 6, 2008 by onward Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted February 6, 2008 Share Posted February 6, 2008 Wow, As much as it sucks to say this and might make me seem like a cold hearted bastard. But Disappear. Abadon her. If she's been cheating during all that time and you got no kids with her, why are you still there? I mean what's the point? Arent you tired of her games? I mean I think this suicide attempt was an act to just get your attention. She isnt worthy! Time to bounce!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
pisces fish Posted February 6, 2008 Share Posted February 6, 2008 (edited) Dump her, you can't let her manipulate you that way. Things were bad before, she is flipflopping back and forth, wants to move out yet doesn't want a divorce, yet doesn't want you to see anyone. WTF? Now there appears to be a good chance she is having an affair. Let's get our facts straight. She is using the drugs as a manipulation tool and she probably was actually manipulating the "other man." Thank you to the poster who came up with this very astute observation. Edited February 6, 2008 by pisces fish Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted February 6, 2008 Share Posted February 6, 2008 but my problem is why did this guy have my wifes number adn why in the hell did he know where we lived? this is killing me. If you separated with the intention of dating others, why do you care so much about what she does? Be kind to her while she's in the hospital and then be gone... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts