How does the MM really feel about the OW?

[Tomcat33]

I guess if someone wanted to see what MM/MW think of their OW/OM they can go check philanderers.com. The forums over there are designed entirely for married people who cheat to chit chat about their marriages and their affair partners, among other things. Every once in a while you'll see a single person posting about being with a married person. The advice the philanderers give is very telling as to how they feel about their own OW/OM.

 

 

Ok so I stand corrected LB!!

 

I went over to check out this site and was truly surprised at what I saw. At times the confessions are not the easiest to digest, yet other times they are down right shocking, I could not believe the amount of frank commentary that happens from the prespective of how the WS sees the marriage VS the affair.

The common theme is they seem to value more the relationship or how they are with the affair partners than what they give for the marriage. One thread in particular really caugh my attention which asked " do you think you are different in your marriage than you are in your EMA" the responses were shocking, to me at least.

 

I suppose what I really appreciate about I saw is that the confessions come FIRST hand from the WSs themselves with no disruptions or bickering or attacks, it is very open and fank. It is not speculation based on BS assumptions, and you gotta appreciate that no matter how good or bad it gets. I would rather hear a negative confession from the horse's mouth than 100 speculations (good or bad) from the third party, but that's just me.

 

Thanks LB for this very useful referral!

[Tame]

Oh, that was a TOPIC ?

 

Thought it was just an opportunity to have a dig, actually

 

Even after reading all of my posts that clearly state my reason for starting the thread was not to take a 'dig' at anyone? And you thought I was taking a dig at whom, you, all other women, all other men, all single women, all single men, all divorced people, children? Who? I have no idea who you are so if there was by chance any 'digging' going on, it certainly wasn't directed at you. I hope this has restored your confidence in me.

[White Flower]

Another thing I've always, and continue, to appreciate about you is just because you were an OW and someone disagrees with cheating, whether it be regarding the cheater or the cheatee, you don't attack them simply because they share that opinion on this forum. I mean, really. For people to have the gonads to say this is "our forum" is just ridiculous. Cheating affects everyone. You could be the cheater. You could be the one cheating WITH the cheater. You could be the child of a cheater. You could be the spouse of a cheater. Affairs have the possibility of hurting any or all of those categories of people, therefore, everyone who has been or may in the future be in any of those positions has the right to be heard on this forum. I think that includes every human being on the planet, don't ya think?

 

Thanks again.

 

I do feel that everyone has a right to express themselves. I also feel that while some may bash the OP, the OP still benefits from, at the very least, hearing the perspective from the BS because it very well could help them decide to end the A if that's what was deep down in their heart but could not be unlocked. That is not to say that every OP has the same path to follow.

 

By the way, I have been in every one of the categories you stated in the above quote so I fully understand all perspectives. It surprises most that I became the OW, even myself, but life is full of surprises. Sometimes I wonder if I allowed it to happen so that I could not only see all sides, but know all sides. I always was a philosopher.

[Lookingforward]

I hope this has restored your confidence in me.

 

 

Que ???

[Lookingforward]

Ok so I stand corrected LB!!

 

I went over to check out this site and was truly surprised at what I saw. .

 

Thanks LB for this very useful referral!

 

Tomcat, I've always valued your opinions, so if you think it's a good site I'll check it out

[Tomcat33]

Tomcat, I've always valued your opinions, so if you think it's a good site I'll check it out

 

:)Oh no no no, thank you for the kinds words LF but I dont want people to get the wrong impression:

 

I don't necessarily think it is a good site or bad for that matter nor would I say I placed great value on it. It is just different. A new prespective to the same old comments we read here because over there the comments come from the cheater's mouths not from third parties that are looking from the ouside in.

 

It's still sad as heck and the reality is it is still a bunch of cheaters looking for a way out of one or the other not knowing what to do. I had to write my retraction because what's fair is fair, I thought when it was introduced here it was going to be a total dig fest on OW/OM from serial cheaters and quite frankly it is more varied than that with some useful information here and there.

 

LF I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE your AVI meant to say something the other day, curiosty kills the cat so I can understand why you'd wanna go over and check it out too lol

Edited February 16, 2008 by Tomcat33

[Lookingforward]

...even though usually the mouse would end up batted to the floor to be played with lol

 

Checked out the site, yes, mainly cheaters and people who support cheating, but a few interesting comments. I think on loveshack we tend to get more the type that ended up in an EMA rather than deliberately setting out to have one, and therefore the emotional gut wrenching is a little more evident than on philanderers where it's just another day, another EMA.

 

One interesting thing seems to be more MMs over there than here where most of the comments seem to be from females.

Edited February 17, 2008 by Lookingforward
made a comment meant for another thread - my bad