it feels like he should be spending it with me and not her.

[tookind99]

ok this is to anyone with some good advice. My bf has this friend who i also know. we've all known each other for about 3 years now. but just recently they have been communicating a lot more. he just went to california to a race that her cousin was in so he spent about 5 days with her. Two of those night they stayed in a hotel room with 2 other people. i of course got mad and he couldn't understand why and just thought i was stupid for worrying so much. i trust him but im not sure about her and its hard not to think what could happen on the opposite coast of the U.S. i get the worst feeling when i think of them spending time together. it feels like he should be spending it with me and not her. sometimes it scares me because i imagine him falling in love with her and forgeting about me. am i being rediculous or are these normal thoughts? and how should i get over them? thank you for listening.

 

lt

[lynnedays]

From my point of view... I think its always subjective to the situation and people in it.

 

My boyfriend was suspicious of all my guy friends (including my bestfriend) when he met them. Yes, my guy friends have liked me at different periods or been interested but I think that's natural to have that happen. It fades and interests change.

 

I reassured my boyfriend of no such feelings towards them and as time went by and he got to meet and know them...he is easy with the idea of me hanging out with them. Occasional joking jealousy over time spent with them flares up... "Fine, go see your other boyfriend" but he is not nervous at all about me falling for them because I've made sure he's secure that my heart belongs to him no matter how they feel.

 

I think you should meet her friends. I"m surprised she hasn't invited you.. perhaps hint that you would like to join. I almost always invite my boyfriend to join and he knows them well enough to feel no threat.

 

I understand what your saying that some guys don't see a point in having "girl friends". I have known guys like that... and I think guys for some reason are always suspicious of other guys. But guys and girls can just be friends to be friends...really... a good friend is a good friend--no point in discriminating by gender.

 

Hell, my roommate this year is now one of those guy friends. My boyfriend's only objection was no more walking around in underwear. )

 

Meet her friends... all of you should hang out some.

[Pixie]

Okay, take a deep breath.

Yes, I know how you feel I was in a simular possition not all that long ago. Your thoughts are totally normal. I know its hard but the best thing you can so is to keep your cool.

He'll feel better if he knows that he can trust you not to freak out when he's away from you. He'll probably get angry if you

make a big deal about it and he'll turn to "some one else" for comfort anyway when you should be the one he can turn to for anything. Even if it hurts. Just stay calm and you'll come out ahead.