It's been a Bad year so far...

[whichwayisup]

It would be a good idea for G's sister to sit and read all her past threads, maybe it will help understand why Gwen has posted on LS for help.

 

Gwen, feel better soon.

[whichwayisup]

I think he would have told me, or she would have called me--again. She knows, she's just in Major denial that her husband is a cheat. She needs him for financial resources and instead of improving her marriage, she tries to get pregnant. I don't understand some women and why they feel that a baby is a solution to a bad marriage.

 

Only thing I can say to this is, you're only hearing MM's side of things, and who knows if what he's told you is true. Look at his actions now...It says alot about WHO he is and the type of man he is....

[NoIDidn't]

I think he would have told me, or she would have called me--again. She knows, she's just in Major denial that her husband is a cheat. She needs him for financial resources and instead of improving her marriage, she tries to get pregnant. I don't understand some women and why they feel that a baby is a solution to a bad marriage.

 

While I can certainly agree with the bolded statement, it cuts both ways. I don't understand why any woman would think a baby will get them the man and the R that they want with him. It often works out in the opposite manner.

 

But this thread shouldn't mention his W as she has nothing to do with his A and a child conceived outside of her M.

[Gwyneth]

I'm feeling better and honestly had no idea my sister was standing behind me as I was reading and typing on this board. She sent me to rest (and it's only 7:20 pm here on Thursday to whoever that was that said "isn't it 9 am Friday), and then went through the thread and read what was written. She was defending me, of course.

 

I had a little bit of heart burn. I am trying to fight a cold off which is why I have been home. Hopefully tomorrow I can get back to work. I sometimes work from home.

 

I did send the email to the MM's coworker and heard back from the friend pretty quickly. He said he was going to stop by after work to talk to me--I am not sure why, but I suddenly started to have a bad feeling.

 

I'm trying very hard not to let some posters get to me, but I am very hormonal right now and some not so nice things were said and speculated. I hate when people assume because they are usually wrong. I don't give out too much personal information about where the MM works and how I know he wasn't at work, so I don't think it's fair to say I have been spying on him because that's not the case at all. It's very obvious if he's not there--doesn't mean I was spying.

[whichwayisup]

I did send the email to the MM's coworker and heard back from the friend pretty quickly. He said he was going to stop by after work to talk to me--I am not sure why, but I suddenly started to have a bad feeling.

 

MM or MM's co-worker?

 

Suck on a lemon, that will help with the heartburn and then take afew vitamin C tablets.

 

Just curious now, did you forget to log off LS and that's how your sis posted? Or does she know your password?

[Gwyneth]

MM or MM's co-worker?

 

Suck on a lemon, that will help with the heartburn and then take afew vitamin C tablets.

 

Just curious now, did you forget to log off LS and that's how your sis posted? Or does she know your password?

 

MM's coworker.

 

I never log off, nor did I have enough time to. I use IE and there are tabbed windows so I usually keep the board open in one of the tabs as I live by myself and don't normally share my computer with anyone. I have other websites open in the other tabs. But since she was here visiting, I didn't have a chance to close the window. she snuck up behind me and I didn't hear her as I had a headset on listening to a phone conversation for work.

 

To answer other questions, he and I had sex several times, not just once. It was over a very small time period. I don't know why that even matters; it's kind of a personal question. It was more than one time though.

 

His coworker should be here any minute now. I was hoping to watch tonight's debate but I guess this will take priority. He seemed persistent on coming over here to talk to me opposed to over the phone.

[whichwayisup]

Try not to worry too much...You don't need that stress. I'm sure everything is fine...

I hope MM's coworker isn't staying at your house too long. Kick him out if it's more than half an hour.

[Gwyneth]

And also, when I had used the term "end it," I meant the affair, not a relationship. Maybe I need to be more specific when typing. Most of the time I come on here to check messages I receive and then to look at some threads.

[JackJack]

I'm just going to say this Gwen and then I'm done. I'm not trying to sound harsh or anything, just making a suggestion.

 

I understand you get upset at times by other posters, it can be like that sometimes when we don't want to hear certain things. Now I'm not saying that is the whole case with you at all. But I'm sure there have been things said that might have had a shred of truth and it was hard to choke down.

 

There is nothing wrong with seeking advice or posting here or even to vent at times. However, you already know in a forum you will get different views and opinons, and advice even when you didn't ask. I feel, that if things people say upset you at times, (being pregnant I wouldn't think you need alot of unnesscary stress) it might be best to seek out the advice of a professional. ONE person who can give you their view/advice or to just listen. In a forum you get tons of view/advice.

 

I'm not saying you NEED a professional, I'm just saying someone who can better help you sort out your feelings and/or situation. I just think by you continuly coming here is only going to upset you. Maybe not all the time, but probably more so than not. I wouldn't think you would want that for yourself or child. Just something to think about.

[Gwyneth]

I'm fine with advice, but when a women who makes a lifetime out of dating married men starts arguing with me and telling me I'm naive and immature, then yea--I become a bit angry to the point where I'm boiling.

[sb129]

Well, the other thread was closed, so I will be brief.

 

I hope Gwen is resting and not letting strangers on the internet distress her. I hope her sister is looking into her previous posts before accusing others wrongfully.

 

The situation isn't a good one. Rest, think before acting/posting/speaking/emailing or whatever, and be safe.

 

I agree. I can't even keep track of all the twists and turns of the story. Gwyneth, your sisters "posts" didn't really do very much to help your credibility on here I'm afraid.

Also, if they were for real, then perhaps you should explain to her why you post here, and that some people are genuine and its natural that others are going to disagree with you.

 

Also, I am glad you have a sister who is supportive of you. That is good to know.

 

(and it's only 7:20 pm here on Thursday to whoever that was that said "isn't it 9 am Friday), and then went through the thread and read what was written. She was defending me, of course.

 

I had a little bit of heart burn. I am trying to fight a cold off which is why I have been home. Hopefully tomorrow I can get back to work. I sometimes work from home..

 

That was me. My mistake, I realised almost straight away but the thread got closed so i couldn't correct it. But can you see why your sisters posting didn't help? It also got some posters backs up which in turn led to Tony closing the thread.

 

That kind of drama/ stuff isn't really helping your case.

 

I'm fine with advice, but when a women who makes a lifetime out of dating married men starts arguing with me and telling me I'm naive and immature, then yea--I become a bit angry to the point where I'm boiling.

 

Gwyneth- you can't say stuff like that... I know you think you are superior because you have only had ONE MM, and your perceive your R with him to be different, but all of us who have been with a MM are no different to eachother really. We have all coveted something that isn't rightfully ours, and thats that.

[Gwyneth]

Whatever; really. I'm sorry if my life is "too dramatic." I don't need to prove myself around here. And I certainly am not obligated to listen to everyones advice around here. I also don't give a hoot if anyone thinks I'm making this up. And on that note, I really don't care what some of you think about me. I use this board to get my thoughts and feelings out in writing. That's my way of getting stress off my chest. I also like to see others' dillemas and see if I can provide words of wisdom. I certainly don't get angry if someone doesn't find my advice suggestive.

 

There are way too many negative people around here.

[sb129]

Whatever; really. I'm sorry if my life is "too dramatic." I don't need to prove myself around here. And I certainly am not obligated to listen to everyones advice around here. I also don't give a hoot if anyone thinks I'm making this up. And on that note, I really don't care what some of you think about me. I use this board to get my thoughts and feelings out in writing. That's my way of getting stress off my chest. I also like to see others' dillemas and see if I can provide words of wisdom. I certainly don't get angry if someone doesn't find my advice suggestive.

 

There are way too many negative people around here.

 

If you read my post again, I am not being negative- just trying to be constructive so you can understand why some people react to you the way they do.

 

And tell your sister thats why you post here so she understands and doesn't jeopardise your threads!

 

If you don't give a hoot, fine whatever, me either, if you don't have anything to prove, don't apologise for it.

 

I certainly don't get angry if someone doesn't find my advice suggestive.

You do get angry if someone elses advice to YOU isn't what you want to hear though!

 

Never mind...

 

Anyway good luck with the pregnancy. Hope everything works out, and that you move on from MM and find someone you can love and who loves you back.

[sb129]

There are way too many negative people around here.

 

Yes, there are, I agree. There are also lots of very REALISTIC people who have had lots of life experience too though.

[PandorasBox]

Whatever; really. I'm sorry if my life is "too dramatic." I don't need to prove myself around here. And I certainly am not obligated to listen to everyones advice around here. I also don't give a hoot if anyone thinks I'm making this up. And on that note, I really don't care what some of you think about me. I use this board to get my thoughts and feelings out in writing. That's my way of getting stress off my chest. I also like to see others' dillemas and see if I can provide words of wisdom. I certainly don't get angry if someone doesn't find my advice suggestive.

 

There are way too many negative people around here.

 

Sometimes it is what people say that bothers others. However, SOMETIMES it can be the way we might preceive things as well. I have seen many posts where someone was telling someone else something and meant no harm by it, but the other person took it as they did. I would think when/if emotions are running high already, that might make things a bit worse as far as perception. NOT all the time but sometimes.

 

You said you like to see if YOU can provide any words of wisdom for others. Do you feel anyone here at all has given you some words of wisdom? There are negative people, thats anywhere you go. In forum or in RL. There are people who want to just rain on your parade, but there are some who truly care and give you really good advice, but it seems even the ones that care and give you good advice you push to the side and don't want to hear.

 

And as far as you saying you're sorry about your "life being to dramamtic", everyone has some type of drama in their life or had some at one point. Only we can control how much "drama" we let into our lives.

[Lookingforward]

I don't understand why it MATTERS why your exMM was not contacting you, after all, didn't YOU say you were ending it ?

 

What difference does this reason make ? None, I would think.

 

Personally, I think telling him about the pregnancy isn't a 'choice' - every child deserves to know who their parents are and every parent deserves to know they have a child.

 

It's a very selfish act to not inform the biological father IMO, but then the overall tone of the OP's threads have been only really concerned with her feelings, haven't they?

 

Gwyn, you're bringing a new life into the world, time to belly up to the bar so to speak and put YOU second.

[Gwyneth]

Yes, I can say that because just like everyone else, I am entitled to my own opinions.

 

My sister has forgotten abt this board and really didn't want to discuss it.

 

There are 2 types of OWs in my mind--the ones who unfortunately fall for a married man, and the ones who deliberetly fall for married men. From what I have read, most of the women on here were unfortunate, but few in my lifetime as well, deliberetly go for married men. I will never understand why. I know why I did what I did, but it wasn't deliberate.

 

There are no twists and turns in my story. I have always kived a soap opera kind of life. Maybe what is twisted to some of you is what's normal to me. I also don't feel I have to explain every fine detail of my life which can be why some of you feel my stories are twisted.

 

But under no circumstances do I think its okay for someone to laugh and say I'm naïve and immature because of choices I have made. I absolutely hate when older people play the "I have more experience" card. Just because someone is older does not make them an expert at life.

[Gwyneth]

Oh nuts! I think five others posted during the time I was responding to SB. I'm on my phone and can't respond to all, but I will later tonight.

 

One note: how else would I tell the father if I can't contact him? Hi, but that's why I'm frustrated. Now I'm not since I know he is hurt.

[sb129]

Ok, take the words "older" and "more" out of the equation.

Lets just say there are some people that have had similar experiences to you. Would you listen to them then?

 

I do think there is an element of naivety in your posts- not necessarily in a BAD way, just in the same way that I was naive when I was an OW and didn't consider all aspects of the situation.

 

I am definitely more mature as a result of going through some of those experiences, and I wouldn't want to be in that position again.

You will probably look back on this period in your life one day and realise how much you have come along since then- I hope you do.

 

You are going to become a mother, which is going to change your level of maturity enormously, and I hope you prepare yourself for that!

 

Nobody on here wishes you harm, nobody wants to see you hurt. Alot of people (myself included) are very sceptical about the intentions of ANY MM, and its highly likely that that is a result of their own experiences.

 

I think the primary concern that most posters have is that you are going to be bringing a child into the world, a child that is totally innocent of the mistakes that its parents made, and everyone wants your child to have the best possible start in life.

 

That is down to you, and to your family to provide a stable environment to bring your baby into. Drama can be damaging to kids, as many posters on here know only too well.

 

Take care, and look after yourself.

[sb129]

Oh nuts! I think five others posted during the time I was responding to SB. I'm on my phone and can't respond to all, but I will later tonight.

 

One note: how else would I tell the father if I can't contact him? Hi, but that's why I'm frustrated. Now I'm not since I know he is hurt.

 

I think you should tell him at some point. Just not right now. And be direct, just tell him straight up, and tell him whether or not you expect anything from him.

[JackJack]

Yes, I can say that because just like everyone else, I am entitled to my own opinions.

 

My sister has forgotten abt this board and really didn't want to discuss it.

 

There are 2 types of OWs in my mind--the ones who unfortunately fall for a married man, and the ones who deliberetly fall for married men. From what I have read, most of the women on here were unfortunate, but few in my lifetime as well, deliberetly go for married men. I will never understand why. I know why I did what I did, but it wasn't deliberate.

 

There are no twists and turns in my story. I have always kived a soap opera kind of life. Maybe what is twisted to some of you is what's normal to me. I also don't feel I have to explain every fine detail of my life which can be why some of you feel my stories are twisted.

 

But under no circumstances do I think its okay for someone to laugh and say I'm naïve and immature because of choices I have made. I absolutely hate when older people play the "I have more experience" card. Just because someone is older does not make them an expert at life.

 

Since your sister was upset by you being on here and what others have said, make sure the part that is in capitals you let her know how its also not appreciated that she came on here and called people

IMMATURE and NEGATIVE. It seems she missed all the posts that were NOT immature and negative and gave good advice. Interesting how she flocked right to the ones who were to her, immature and negative and quick to point those out. You said you don't like it when people call you IMMATURE, so basically she did the same thing, so make sure you both are on the same page on your feelings of things if she is going to post too.

 

I have no problem with you gwen, and I know you don't care, because you have said before you don't care what others think of you, but yet you seem to get really upset by what people say even when they are trying to be helpful. So since we all have opinons mine is, if you don't care, then its best to let it all go, and focus on your child, and not worry so much about what others are saying etc. I think you're putting extra stress on yourself in an already stressful situation.

[Gwyneth]

I care what people say about me to a point. I certainly do not appreciate being called immature and naive because of choices I make. Many of you, no matter what I choose, always seem to accuse me of being immature and naive. Had I never shared my real age and lied and said I'm in my 50s, I bet I'd be treated a lot different around here. But because I'm in my 20s doesn't give anyone the right to talk to me like they're my parent. That doesn't go for everyone, but for a good amount of posters on here.

 

And as for my sister, can we drop the topic of her, please? She only read a few posts at the most, and didn't spend much time looking through all the threads. LIke I said, it's a forgotten topic with her. And I really don't think she pointed fingers at anyone--I think some of you are making a bigger deal out of her words than what is really there. I saw someone make this point either in this thread or my other one. So forget about her, please!

[NoIDidn't]

1. Drive by posters are rarely ever forgotten as it is generally considered rude to butt in on a conversation when you come in on its tail without considering all that has been said.

 

2. Had you lied about your age and still proceeded to post the same kinds of posts, you would have been called on it.

 

3. If one does not want to be called names (such as immature, which really isn't a name if it is accurate), one should not call others names.

 

In another post you say your life is basically filled with drama. That is not going to be healthy for your pregnancy or the child born into the drama. Try to live life with less of this kind of negativity following you. Drama is a sure sign of immaturity, being naive, or selfishness. None are good traits for a parent. And I am saying this in general before its claimed that I was insulting you.

 

Oh, and thicken your skin. All parents need thick skin. If an internet board gets you all riled up, just wait until you start showing and the judgmental folks you encounter IRL get to take some punches at your expense.

[blind_otter]

I definately agree that you should work on making your life drama-free for the sake of the tater tot. I used to have A LOT of dramz in my life, LS is testament to that, it's all on here for anyone to search. I think sometimes we subconsciously attract drama in our life to distract ourselves from tackling the major issues that cause us to crave drama.

[Gwyneth]

I am saying in general, my life can look dramatic, but it's my life and I'm used to it, but from the outside, it can look dramatic.

 

Immature is definitely name calling. So is calling someone stupid, which is basically what you are saying when calling someone immature.

 

But this isn't linguistics, is it?