POOF - my skills with women vanished

[Phateless]

This is bizarre. My life is back on track for the first time in years and years. I feel like I know where I'm going, what I'm doing, etc, but my skills with women have vanished into thin air. I get cute girls starting conversations with me all the time and I can't carry one to save my life. I have NOOO idea what to say where a few months ago I had no problem keeping it going.

 

I'm not intimidated or feeling unworthy... I just feel like I have absolutely no interest in small talk. Boring... It's almost painful for me to try to keep conversations going these days.

 

Anyone else been through this? It's really weird... Unless I'm drunk as a skunk. I've virtually given up drinking lately tho. Lost interest.

 

All I do or want to do is school, salsa/swing dancing, and the gym. That's it. I have little to no interest in anything else.

[D-Lish]

Maybe it's exactly because you feel like you have all your ducks in a row that you don't feel the need to engage in mundane meaningless interactions with women that you don't feel could possibly offer you anything other than a physical release.

 

When I am feeling great about where my life is at, I don't feel the need to engage in exchanges in order to boost my ego or make me feel like I need any sort of validation outside what I have already internalized within myself.

 

Perhaps this isn't a problem- but a step in the right direction.

Now it's a matter of meeting that person who evokes a real spark rather than a fleeting ego boost.

 

Maybe it means you are (heaven forbid) ready to wait it out until the right person crosses your path before you want to engage them in some meanignful interaction.

 

?

[Dumbledore]

All I do or want to do is school, salsa/swing dancing, and the gym. That's it. I have little to no interest in anything else.

If you have completely lost interest in sex, then it could be a sign of depression. Perhaps you should see your family doctor about it, and get some pills. Pretty much everybody is medicated these days, so the stigma of the past has gone.

 

On the girl thing, don't stress. You have to be patient. And not try too hard.

[Phateless]

Maybe it's exactly because you feel like you have all your ducks in a row that you don't feel the need to engage in mundane meaningless interactions with women that you don't feel could possibly offer you anything other than a physical release.

 

When I am feeling great about where my life is at, I don't feel the need to engage in exchanges in order to boost my ego or make me feel like I need any sort of validation outside what I have already internalized within myself.

 

Perhaps this isn't a problem- but a step in the right direction.

Now it's a matter of meeting that person who evokes a real spark rather than a fleeting ego boost.

 

Maybe it means you are (heaven forbid) ready to wait it out until the right person crosses your path before you want to engage them in some meanignful interaction.

 

?

 

lol, wow D-Lish, that makes a lot of sense. Thanks. I guess i kinda knew all of that but didn't really connect the dots. Yeah I would really like to find someone amazing out there. I feel like it will be easier if I meet more girls, but I guess I can just chill for a while. When the cute ones start conversations I kinda feel like "apparently they liked something about me" and don't really know what else to do. I'd like to find out if she's cool.

 

 

Dumbledore - no, i'm still interested in sex, but not willing to cause the drama that might be associated with it. I know that at the moment i'm liable to lose interest immediately after. As for pills, I'm very anti-medication. America is totally over medicated as it is, but that's another thread.

[Dumbledore]

When the cute ones start conversations I kinda feel like "apparently they liked something about me"

Do you wear tight jeans?

[Phateless]

Do you wear tight jeans?

 

lol no I dress pretty normally

[Trimmer]

Phateless - I loved what D-Lish said... As I was reading your OP I was thinking, well, he isn't into the smalltalk any more, maybe he's ready to get to know women as people instead of just "cute girls." You have smalltalk with cute girls, you have meaningful conversations with people.

 

In some ways, I'm like you - sort of re-entering the social world as a single person. And while I originally thought the idea of "dating" and the whole song and dance that goes along with it would be wierd, what I found is that I really like being social - getting to know people as people. So for now, that's just how I approach my interactions with women - not as some kind of male-female maneuver or game, but as an opportunity to get to know some new people in my world, see if there are sparks (whether as friends or whatever...)

 

I feel like I may not be very hip to all the rituals and games, and that may rule me out for some women, but then again..... Wouldn't I want to rule out the game players anyway?

 

When the cute ones start conversations I kinda feel like "apparently they liked something about me" and don't really know what else to do. I'd like to find out if she's cool.

Think of her as a person to get to know, instead of just a cute girl, and I bet you'll have an easier time finding out if she's cool...

[Dumbledore]

- I loved what D-Lish said...

I guess I did, too, but I didn't want to go and give her a big head about it. I could have said something like "good post" or "that makes a lot of sense," maybe.

[burning 4 revenge]

I guess I did, too, but I didn't want to go and give her a big head about it. I could have said something like "good post" or "that makes a lot of sense," maybe.

I dont think you even read her post, because you would never have said that

[Lyssa]

he isn't into the smalltalk any more, maybe he's ready to get to know women as people instead of just "cute girls." You have smalltalk with cute girls, you have meaningful conversations with people.

 

I like this part of Trimmer's post. Something I can relate to.