"Ex" said LISTEN TO THIS SONG

[oppath]

I dated a girl a few months ending it mutually last November but it was a torn decision for both of us. Basically, it was on/off mostly on her initiative though I can't claim total innocence, and those types of relationships are draining and not sustainable. Reasons for the breakups were (1) her ex and her not feeling ready (2) and then when she came back, I was less invested, and the dynamic was that she would sense that and be disappointed and it would lead to small conflicts. Not healthy. I did have feelings and was torn but things in my life weren't in the best spot.

 

We got in touch over X-mas and have been IM'ing and I saw her for dinner a week ago. There are some feelings there. I've definitely been flirting with her via IM and I recognize that is selfish of me unless I ask for her back.

 

The other night, I log in and she says "You need to check out this song -- The Way U Make Me Feel -- By the black eyes peas." I told her I would download it and she said "LISTEN TO IT." and she signed off. When I listened to the song, I couldn't help but think it was a double entendre.

 

The lyrics are posted below. I'd be naive not to think there was a double meaning, right? We talk about music and I've made her mixed CD's, but she's never acted like that before. It's possible she just liked the song and wanted to share it, but I'm not that naive. The lyrics have affected me deeply and I'm considering asking her "was that an attempt to reveal how you feel? If so, I'd like one more chance" but if she is as tired of the confusion as me, because it has been draining, then we need to put some space and go no contact. I'm open for another chance if we talk it out and agree to DATE, starting fresh, because we have not actually hung out face to face all that much. But I know the reality of something working out is a low % if it wasn't working before. Some of it was the connection -- she is more shy and an immigrant so it's hard to connect sometimes -- but mostly it was external situations that caused conflict, not a lack of feelings or desire.

 

I admit, the song is sexual, and she's not a FWB type, but it's also about feelings more than sex. Naturally, I'm confused while she would send it unless it describes our relationship because she's never done this before. It's possible she just liked the song but the probability of that has to be like 20% considering she's never told me "check out this song" before, and she said LISTEN TO IT in capitals, emphasis hers. I've been feeling really confused ever since and suspect she must feel confused as well.

 

Everyday and all night

I dream of holding you tight

Crazy as I may seem

Youre all that I ever need, babe

 

I gotta make you mine, youre someone I wanna own

I wanna be the one you call when you feelin alone

Im gonna make it easy for you to unedrstand

You can be the infamous woman

That partner in hand could be me, pleasurable company

Gettin you like enter, when I feel on your body

It done hit me like jesus, please

You movin authentic cause energy sent to me knees that

Make em buckle (baby) speakin a buckle

Why dont you undo yours, and make our body hussle

Isnt it love when two body collide

Lettin all sparks that resembles fourth of july skies

And you know how much I care about you right (oh yeah)

When youre on my mind, ima be alright (oh yeah)

I wanna love you down in so many ways (oh yeah)

When Im feeling blue, I think of you and say (oh yeah)

And if you knew how deep I feel about you girl, then you will

Not think twice when I ask to hook up and go chill

It could be in my place (on my place)

Or your place (or your place)

And we could let our body conversate, cause

 

Chorus (2x)

 

This aint no attempt to get all up in your jeans

Even though I wanna make you scream to extreme

Our mouths give you chocolate treats like halloween

Act out scenes where you and I wrote, my scene cause its

(something in the way you make me feel)

You got me feelin like Im supposed to feel

Just you and i, upclose and personal

Ill be gentle while you lettin your emotional feel

(chick-a-boom-boom) and you got it good like that

When you and I interact youll be whipped on contact

cause once you willy, you never go back

Baby, once you go willy, you never go back

I said how much I care about you right (oh yeah)

When you on my mind, ima be alright (oh yeah)

I wanna love you down in so many ways (oh yeah)

When Im feeling blue, I think of you and say (oh yeah)

And since you knew how deep I feel about you girl, then you will

Not think twice when I ask to hook up and go chill

It could be in my place (on my place)

Or your place (or your place)

And we could let our body conversate, cause

[Kamille]

I have told guys to listen to songs that remind me of them (not telling them the song reminds me of them, just saying pretty much exactly what she said. Listen to it).

 

But I don't know what it is that I get from this song (plus I just read the words and didn't actually listen to the song), but it could be read two ways: it could be that the song reminds her of what you had: a great connection with the desire yet the inability to move foward. Or it could be her way of telling you that you two should :

 

And if you knew how deep I feel about you girl, then you will

Not think twice when I ask to hook up and go chill

It could be in my place (on my place)

Or your place (or your place)

And we could let our body conversate, cause

 

I guess you could always bring up the topic of the song with her, and tell her how the lyrics have affected you.

 

I'm open for another chance if we talk it out and agree to DATE, starting fresh, because we have not actually hung out face to face all that much. But I know the reality of something working out is a low % if it wasn't working before. Some of it was the connection -- she is more shy and an immigrant so it's hard to connect sometimes -- but mostly it was external situations that caused conflict, not a lack of feelings or desire.

 

 

If you think you haven't given this woman a fair chance, then why not see if she would like to give it another go? It doesn't sound like things ever cross the line into commitment and it also sounds like you two always took distance out of respect for each other.

[oppath]

Or it could be her way of telling you that you two should :

 

And if you knew how deep I feel about you girl, then you will

Not think twice when I ask to hook up and go chill

It could be in my place (on my place)

Or your place (or your place)

And we could let our body conversate, cause

 

 

I know she wants more than sex. I just need to tell her that I felt confused when she sent me that song. That's the only way to describe how I feel. Confused. I haven't fully moved on. It never reached commitment. But I've never been more intimate with someone and she is my best friend and I do have feelings. Confused is the only way to describe it. She deserves someone who is not confused. And if a friend was involved with a guy who is confused I'd tell her "walk away." She's the one I need to discuss this with.