Why do most girls dislike Indian guys?

[CodependentKate]

I don't want to make a broad generalization, but I have smelled some really stinky BO coming from Indian men. I have heard that they don't wear deodorant for whatever reason. Nobody wants to be with somebody who stinks! Also, the Indian accent isn't very appealing. British, Australian and South African accents are sexy, but the Indian not so much. Why don't you just date Indian women?

[Audg1964]

Hi everyone. I am an Indian guy (East Indian) living in the US...I get a feeling that most girls here do not like Indian guys. For example, I was in the gym the other day for a group fitness class and we needed a partner to exercise with, so I was randomly paired up with one American girl....she did not even smile back at me and it seemed she didn't want to even look at me. That's just one example, but in daily life too, me and my Indian friends have experienced that most American girls put on a very contemptuous and unfriendly expression when an Indian guy happens to make a casual eye contact (not leering) with them.

 

What is it about most Indian guys that girls hate? looks? accent? behavior? cleanliness? manners? height? color? culture? I would really like to know what repels most girls from Indian guys and maybe try to improve if its possible.

Thanks.

 

It sounds like your totally "Americanized." All I can say is that you haven't found that right people and that the ones that you are meeting are ignorant. It's their loss. Keep trying...go after what you're attracted to and you'll find it...even if it takes 10 years or more...don't settle.

 

If you want an Indian woman, you know you can have that easily. But, I say hold out for what makes you happy.

[Audg1964]

I don't want to make a broad generalization, but I have smelled some really stinky BO coming from Indian men. I have heard that they don't wear deodorant for whatever reason. Nobody wants to be with somebody who stinks! Also, the Indian accent isn't very appealing. British, Australian and South African accents are sexy, but the Indian not so much. Why don't you just date Indian women?

 

I worked with someone who's parents are from India and he grew up here. The accent has nothing to do with it. He's married to an Italian American. It's just the ignorance of the Americans. They're probably DEMOCRATS! HAHA

[crazieshnurple]

I don't know very many indian guys, but personally I love them.

I think they're sexy as hell and usually nice however I have met a few who are very arrogant. For the most part though, the guys are hot and friendly and the girls are gorgeous.

[forrest]

yo sweetguy2008, you said u go to az state university? Then I think your problem is not the fact that you are Indian, but the fact that you are in AZ. I was there for a couple of months, and in my experience the girls were very snobby (I was there with a lot of friends, Indian and white, we were all treated pretty much equally). Those girls tended to stay with their cliques. O and if u get a chance, come out to Cali. Its much different here.

[dot.dot]

Hello

In my previous post I was too much 'for' Indians. am an Indian guy living in boston.I live in vey culturally diverse community.Actually I am a grad student.There is a beautiful latina in my building.I wish to take her out but believe me I am 26 and never taken a girl out on a date.Its not that I was not capable...its juss that I was always working towards my goals (academic).I was approached by many girls (coz i am a good dancer and an athelete) but I always turned them down fearing that I would digress form my path.I still do fear it but coming to US, I realized that trying 'to be a repellant' to girls all my life ...I have actually lost my usual self and seem very arrogant in a group.I really want to bring back that 'me' but its seems that bridge is cut.

So coming back to latina in my building I tried to approach her believe me when I say 'appraching ' it literally means 'appraching-and-passing-her-on-the-street ' kind and 'not communicating'....at all....

Now the problem is I live on the first floor and she lives on the second floor.Her neighbours are Indians and they live in a very dirty way...very dirty way...no deodorants and no bathing..we (my apartment mates and I)have actually reprimanded them many a times but in vain.Now I fear that this girl who is their neighbour must be generalizing and assuming too many things about Indians coz of these idiots....When I read this thread and a post by codependent Kate I felt like I should write. about my case too.Miss ..its not that most Indians are bad but that only those who are 'bad'....project out...In my case the girl's neighbours.I am sure that I wont get even a chance to atlk to her and even if I did, it would be very difficult to persuade her..thanks to those colleagues and my 'awesome'(pun intended) communication skills..

My sincere request ..do not generalize even we are humans and do feel bad about it...its like saying "An average American girl has sex with nine diffrent men before marriage ..therefore all american girls are whores ..but wouldnt that be false?"BTW I havent madethis up this statistics was given in an American magazine.

tc

happy blogging:D

[thetruth]

Hey dude I'm Indian and I warn you I'm gonna be honest..

 

First are you from the south? Most Indians here in America are from the south. I'd say at least 80 percent now.

 

If you are I'm going to be brutally honest here most white women (which I'm suspecting you are looking for) are not going to be into you. North and central Indians are going to have a better time with this as they usually have Caucasian features and what not and can pull of the exotic look.

 

Personally I haven't had a problem my family is from Nashik western India. My dad who even has an Indian accent and whatnot is dating a white woman right now.

 

Couple things that I'd like to say:

 

1. Take showers

2. Wash your face

3. Keep yourself clean in general

 

I've noticed a lot of south Indian guys constantly chasing around white women and a lot of black guys do this too, they will hit on every white women they see on the street saying crude things. I don't see why, there are beautiful women from all races in America. This also probably turns off white women, some women are just not into very dark skinned men you have to accept that.

 

I'm sorry if that was brutally honest but I'm just talking about what I've seen I have a fair bit of experience as my family has a substantial amount of white women and men in it

[Green]

I know this guy, who is indian, and he's even deformed. He has a super hot white gf, who he just met in school. I know this other Indian guy who seems like a real ladies man. And these guys are dark, like in bars people just come up to them and say Indian. But there good with the white ladies. Realisticaly being Indian can be both a strenth and a weakness. Just be confident when you aproach women and try to break through their bitch barriers. Once a girl starts liking you its usualy an avalanche affect. I'm a white guy and I still get nasty looks and stuff from women, you don't see me looking for some excuse to give up, so I say don't worry about being Indian, I doubt your even trying hard to get these women. Don't just expect them to knock on your door and strip, do some work, be confident, be sucsessful, have fun, be sexy

[dot.dot]

Dear Mr/miss Truth...

I am really sorry ..i am sure u really got hurt by the last line in my previous reply.FYI, I am from Maharashtra..but I dont have your 'Caucasian features'..God knows y u still have it..prbably a gift from brits to ur family...if tht was too brutal..i am sorry if u have whites in ur family u r no more indian ...u r a mix.. But its not about features its something else..i am sure i have seen more beautiful girls with black men than white men...

...BTW do read my previous posts......

Thank you KMT for your inputs ,very kind of you and I will focus on my communication skills and try to be more sexy as you advised.

Edited February 28, 2008 by dot.dot

[D-Lish]

I have no problems with dating anyone of any race- I have a preference for certain features... (I like dark hair) but I think most of us do. That hasn't stopped me from dating anyone of a mixed race, or any race.

 

I can offer you some insight into my experience with Indian men.

 

In highschool, there was a wave of immigration from India.... and our highschool suddenly became very multi-cultural. I remember playing basketball on some outside courts with some guy friends. SOme Indian boys came and wanted to play against us.... sounded like fun so we did.

I was a star on my senior basketball team- and a good player. We began beating them (i was the only girl). As we started winning, the Indian guys began getting physical with me- pushing me, hip checking me- swearing at me, and eventually, one guy spit on me, threw the ball into my face and told me women had no place being on the court with men.

 

That was my first experience mixing with them. They cat-called in the hallways, made crude comments, and treated women like second class citizens. I remember engaging in a debate in one of my courses and having another Indian male tell me to shut up because I was a "woman" and how dare I question him. Him and his friends got so angry that they had to be removed from the class. He told me after in the hallway that I was lucky we didn't live in his country- or I'd be dead. What I am giving you is perspective on my first encounter- and that yes, it has instilled some negative thoughts in me.

 

I think most north american women (I am canadian) feel that the Indian culture/religion doesn't accept women as equals. Yes, it is a blanket statement- and pretty unfair - I get that.

 

Many north american women may associate Indian males with a culture that subjugates women. In a society where we learn that we are capable and equal... it's hard to accept that notion.

 

Is it stereotyping- yes. I see it as more of a cultural barrier rather than physical discrimination. I am physically attracted to a wide range of men.

 

I am sorry you have had to face this with people.

I am only giving you a taste of where my imbedded notions have come from based on the brushes I have had. I think that a good woman will see you for who you are and not judge you based on the people that live upstairs just because they share a cultural link with you.

 

I have two neighbours in my building that are Indian - one East, one West. One is a brain surgeon, the other is an engineering student. The surgeon is great- but the young engineering student is a misogynist.

 

Not that many white men aren't jerks and misogynists.... and hygiene is an issue that spans humankind and is certainly not culture or gender specific!

 

I hope I gave you some insight without coming off as a horrible stereo-typer!

[thetruth]

I have no problems with dating anyone of any race- I have a preference for certain features... (I like dark hair) but I think most of us do. That hasn't stopped me from dating anyone of a mixed race, or any race.

 

I can offer you some insight into my experience with Indian men.

 

In highschool, there was a wave of immigration from India.... and our highschool suddenly became very multi-cultural. I remember playing basketball on some outside courts with some guy friends. SOme Indian boys came and wanted to play against us.... sounded like fun so we did.

I was a star on my senior basketball team- and a good player. We began beating them (i was the only girl). As we started winning, the Indian guys began getting physical with me- pushing me, hip checking me- swearing at me, and eventually, one guy spit on me, threw the ball into my face and told me women had no place being on the court with men.

 

That was my first experience mixing with them. They cat-called in the hallways, made crude comments, and treated women like second class citizens. I remember engaging in a debate in one of my courses and having another Indian male tell me to shut up because I was a "woman" and how dare I question him. Him and his friends got so angry that they had to be removed from the class. He told me after in the hallway that I was lucky we didn't live in his country- or I'd be dead. What I am giving you is perspective on my first encounter- and that yes, it has instilled some negative thoughts in me.

 

I think most north american women (I am canadian) feel that the Indian culture/religion doesn't accept women as equals. Yes, it is a blanket statement- and pretty unfair - I get that.

 

Many north american women may associate Indian males with a culture that subjugates women. In a society where we learn that we are capable and equal... it's hard to accept that notion.

 

Is it stereotyping- yes. I see it as more of a cultural barrier rather than physical discrimination. I am physically attracted to a wide range of men.

 

I am sorry you have had to face this with people.

I am only giving you a taste of where my imbedded notions have come from based on the brushes I have had. I think that a good woman will see you for who you are and not judge you based on the people that live upstairs just because they share a cultural link with you.

 

I have two neighbours in my building that are Indian - one East, one West. One is a brain surgeon, the other is an engineering student. The surgeon is great- but the young engineering student is a misogynist.

 

Not that many white men aren't jerks and misogynists.... and hygiene is an issue that spans humankind and is certainly not culture or gender specific!

 

I hope I gave you some insight without coming off as a horrible stereo-typer!

 

I find that really hard to believe, you beat some guys in a basketball game and they started shoving you, spitting on your face, throwing the ball into your face? LOL, LOL. Then started catcalling you in the hallways? No other guys around you did anything about this? Sounds like there were no gentlemen at all in your life.

 

Lets be honest here, what happened, some Indian guy completely rejected you so it upset you because in your mind you own the world?

 

Stop spreading lies like that. That kind of behavior is not tolerated from anyone in Canada, immigrants or otherwise.

[thetruth]

Dear Mr/miss Truth...

I am really sorry ..i am sure u really got hurt by the last line in my previous reply.FYI, I am from Maharashtra..but I dont have your 'Caucasian features'..God knows y u still have it..prbably a gift from brits to ur family...if tht was too brutal..i am sorry if u have whites in ur family u r no more indian ...u r a mix.. But its not about features its something else..i am sure i have seen more beautiful girls with black men than white men...

...BTW do read my previous posts......

Thank you KMT for your inputs ,very kind of you and I will focus on my communication skills and try to be more sexy as you advised.

 

Can you type properly? Your post was basically a mishmash of internet slang. I doubt you are from Maharashtra. Being 'sexy' and 'communicating' are pretty vague things to work on. I gave you my opinion I told you I was going to be truthful, I am an Indian-American and felt my opinion probably had more validity then others.

 

BTW do you realize you aren't blogging but posting on a message board?

[D-Lish]

I find that really hard to believe, you beat some guys in a basketball game and they started shoving you, spitting on your face, throwing the ball into your face? LOL, LOL. Then started catcalling you in the hallways? No other guys around you did anything about this? Sounds like there were no gentlemen at all in your life.

 

Lets be honest here, what happened, some Indian guy completely rejected you so it upset you because in your mind you own the world?

 

Stop spreading lies like that. That kind of behavior is not tolerated from anyone in Canada, immigrants or otherwise.

 

Huh? Are you retarded? Because you sound retarded. Bad things don't happen, and rude people don't live in Canada? Teenagers aren't idiots? Come on- don't be so freakin rude and naive. There are no lies in what I posted.

 

This was 20 years ago back in high school fool. A basketball game on a court after school hours. Crowded highschool hallways...

And yes, many people did something about it - the school was turned upside down and divided with shoving matches, suspensions and shouting matches on a daily basis (none of which had to do with my limited experiences). Not to mention a whole lot of after school fist fights. But things like that don't happen in Canada right? Yeah, right.

 

This wasn't an isolated incident that only I experienced - this was a school wide problem that everyone experienced. And I stood up for myself thank you very much. I could spit and hip check too.

 

In answer to your question that no one did anything about me getting spit on- you couldn't be more wrong. You think the guys I was with on the court after school didn't freak out and defend me? You think I didn't take a swipe at him?

 

I was trying to give the OP perspective without going into irrelevant details. There are no lies present in anything I have said.

Settle down.

[Green]

Those details made things more interesting. And I told him to be sexy because he should know what that means and if he doesn't its something he will have to find out for himself. The bottom line is if this guy gets some confidence and learns how to have a good time being around women he'll be fine. I don't think it helps when you entertain yourself or vent by insulting the OP and other posters. For the OP I'd like to say the key is to have a good time even if you get rejected. If I go up to some chick I was into and I have a nice dance or conversation I don't really get upset if it doesn't end with me dating her. Sure some girls are going to say F off before you ever utter a word but thats kind of funny right? Stop stressing yourself about this and just have a good time interacting with people and women and you'll do fine.

[sweetguy2008]

'D-Lish' and 'CD111'...I am sorry to hear that you had such a rough encounter with Indian men. But trust me, there are more of those brain surgeons out there and I hope you get to meet one someday..

 

Most educated Indians in today's world respect women and that old notion of women being an inferior race is slowly evaporating away. Take my case for example...my mother, aunts and sisters are more successful than the men in my family and subjugation of women is something I have only come across in my history textbooks.

 

I can totally understand if a girl dosen't like an Indian guy because of his individual traits...looks, style, behaviour etc. But the aim of this thread is really to uncover the stereotypes and prejudices that american girls are likely to have, which creates this huge wall; and makes it very difficult for Indian guys to approach and date american girls.

 

'KMT'...I have tried to approach girls before, but as I said, Indian guys fall victim to stereotyping and it becomes probably 10 times more difficult for me to approach girls than other guys...but I am not giving up!

And thanks for your inputs...as you said, communication and personality is what needs to be worked on....

'dot.dot'...u r doing the right thing buddy...keep it up!

 

Thanks again for all ur inputs and have a nice weekend.

[D-Lish]

I only meant to give you some background on where some of these stereotypes come from. It's sad but stereotypes exist everywhere...

 

I remember being at a wedding at a table with people I didn't know and having someone say to me after a few drinks "you know, when I first saw you I just expected you were another dumb blonde..." lol.

 

Well, just for your information sweet- the brain surgeon is also a chick magnet- and as much as he attractive.... his confidence and attitude is the magnet that has a steady stream of women coming in and out of his place.

 

I really think it's all about confidence and how you carry yourself.

[SpanksTheMonkey]

Hi everyone. I am an Indian guy (East Indian) living in the US...I get a feeling that most girls here do not like Indian guys. For example, I was in the gym the other day for a group fitness class and we needed a partner to exercise with, so I was randomly paired up with one American girl....she did not even smile back at me and it seemed she didn't want to even look at me. That's just one example, but in daily life too, me and my Indian friends have experienced that most American girls put on a very contemptuous and unfriendly expression when an Indian guy happens to make a casual eye contact (not leering) with them.

 

What is it about most Indian guys that girls hate? looks? accent? behavior? cleanliness? manners? height? color? culture? I would really like to know what repels most girls from Indian guys and maybe try to improve if its possible.

Thanks.

Hi sweet guy all I can say is my personal experiences I had no probs with Indian men before I became close to one.

 

We went out on a few dates but seamed all he was interested in was one thing and it wasn't a genuine relationship.

 

I basically gave him a choice at that point and he chose not to have one so I ended things.

 

He still had family in India and I some how got the feeling he wasn't suppose to be with an American girl if that makes any sense.

 

But I think some American women white ones maybe see Indian men as below them in some way.

 

Stupid and ignorant I know but such is life unfortunately allot of the times minorities of all kinds suffer the same crap.

 

I also think some times the accent is hard for some Americans to understand so that doesn't help ether.

[nicki]

Wow, D-lish, sorry that happened to you. I'm sure you gave the guys who were giving you a hard time something to think about!

 

By the way, I thought your post was very respectful, unbiased and informative. You were careful to explain that you were merely giving an anectodal account of what happened to you.

 

I'm a yoga teacher and have spent a lot of time around men from India. One fellow teacher brought me gold bracelets from India and asked to go walking with me. Although he was interested, things moved very s-l-o-w-ly. He often told me that here in America women moved too fast and that many men were overwhelmed with their repressed desires and the overt sexuality of women....the indian men loved it, hated it, wanted it, put off by it....so they were confused.

 

Just this guy's words, mind you. As for any advice, I won't add to the lists of stereotypes here, but you do need to show that you aren't those things.

 

My advice:

 

1. Smile, be confident, laid back, humorous. Show women you are safe.

 

2. Be respectful of women. Be a gentleman. Open doors for women.

 

3. If you can, cut down on the spices. They DO come out in your pores. I love Indian food myself so I know.

 

4. Be sure to use American cologne and deoderant. I know a lot of Indian guys who say we are overly dependent on such products here, and we really are, but it's a cultural thing so use them if you aren't already. It sends a strong signal to women that you smell clean and familiar like other men. Clean men get more sex!

 

5. Don't stare at all white women! Focus on being friendly with everyone, and be selective when you ask women out. No woman wants to be #6 in a long list of white women you have already shown interest in right in front of them. Show you are in it for the particular women, not because she is white. That's what you want women to do for you, right? See YOU, not the Indian YOU, just you as a man. So be that way in your dealings with women.

 

6. Remember you are in AZ. I lived there. Not a whole lot of ethnic diversity going on. It IS different in more culturally diverse areas of the USA. Be sure to travel or move somewhere else eventually.

 

7. Try to forge relationships with more intellectual women. Perhaps from your classes, and not the bars where most relationships are superficial and many people are looking for a hook-up. Go to yoga classes if you are so inclined. There are many wonderful studios there with fun groups studying the yoga sutras, etc....you might find like-minded people. Or sign up for any outside interest you have. That's a great way to meet women. Horseback riding is big in AZ. So is jeep riding out in the desert!

 

8. Hang in there! You sound amazing in many ways. Women tend to mature AFTER college and go for the good guys. Lots of college women go for the bad frat boys. Don't try to be like that. And don't think you would want a woman like that either. You'd be bored silly!

Edited February 29, 2008 by nicki

[Angels&Airwaves]

Why does the woman have to be white? Is it some sort of cultural status symbol? Why not see people for what’s on the inside, as opposed to the pigmentation of their skin?

 

Love and affections knows no colour.

[Replicant]

I find that really hard to believe, you beat some guys in a basketball game and they started shoving you, spitting on your face, throwing the ball into your face? LOL, LOL. Then started catcalling you in the hallways? No other guys around you did anything about this? Sounds like there were no gentlemen at all in your life.

 

Lets be honest here, what happened, some Indian guy completely rejected you so it upset you because in your mind you own the world?

 

Stop spreading lies like that. That kind of behavior is not tolerated from anyone in Canada, immigrants or otherwise.

 

Obviously you are deluded to think many immigrants leave their beliefs and religious baggage at the airport before leaving. It just resurfaces here in a variety of ways and is projected just the same, and i absolutely believe what D-Lish said. You don't have to dig too deep to see it, though it is considered 'politically incorrect' now to even touch on it. Such as...It's a constant sight to see Indian women walking like 20 ft behind their husband with the kids, you'd think there was an invisible dog leash or something.

[stillafool]

Why does the woman have to be white? Is it some sort of cultural status symbol? Why not see people for what’s on the inside, as opposed to the pigmentation of their skin?

 

Love and affections knows no colour.

 

 

Sweetguy never came back to tell us if he is talking about all American women. Someone just guessed Sweet was talking about caucasion women.

 

A friend of mine dated an Indian guy many years ago for about 7 years. He was young,6'3 and drop dead gorgeous. He was clean and so kind. He was also our dentist and was truly gifted. My friend feel head over heels for him. He put her though college and paid all of her bills while she was in school. He ended up marrying a girl from his homeland and breaking my gf's heart. My gf is fine now as she has been happily married for many years now, but she said he was the great love of her life. BTW my friend is an african american woman.

[BetrayedMM]

I doubt that most Americans know much about Indian culture or history. If they did, they would be fascinated. Fear is mostly about the unknown. Xenophobia.

 

Some of it is paranoia also, personally, I have never heard of an INDIAN terrorist, but a whole lot live not too far from there, so they can't help but have similar physical characteristics to people who WANT everybody to fear them. A sad coincidence. Especially when it's common to be Hindu, yet named Muhammad. Very easy to make assumptions based on irrational fears, if not ignorance.

 

There are also biases, stereotypes, bigotry, etc., and although it just ain't right, it's there.

 

There is the American culture itself to consider. The vast majority of Americans are immigrants, or recently decended from immigrants. The tradition of assimilation was mandatory for the parents, grandparents, etc because of the perception that it was the only way to hold such a multicultural melting pot together. The tendency to accommodate and easily accept 'other', 'foreign' cultures is a relatively recent development, frankly, bigotry was the norm and the incentive towards rapid assimilation. Not necessarily so today. Now, it's possible to live in the US, yes retain a separate and distinct culture without all the pressure to assimilate. Yet, xenophobia will always exist, it is a part of human nature. A bit of a dilemma.

 

Also, it could come down to personal taste. I like blondes. That's just me.

 

One other thing to consider- a woman in a committed relationship really shouldn't respond in kind to even respectful and subtle flirting. No point giving the wrong impression if they just aren't interested in ANY man, for whatever reason.

[dot.dot]

I think I am sane enough to get what being sexy and communicating means..thank you..you dont have to get into details...I am not a teenager

 

Dlish..I am really sorry..such a thing happened to you..but as Sweet guy put it there are good men in every culture..its just that they get blanketed by bad people..i believe that happens everywhere..in every culture....like KMT put it before ..you have to get past the bitch barrier to get to 'that' girl (whatever culture) ...

 

But somehow its hard to believe that they shoved you and pushed you and all that.

 

I am not sure how many people know this but in India some families have matriarchy...its still there ....I mean to say that women are respected and not subjugated.

[Green]

Wow many sweeping statements India and Americans. First off most of the stuff you read here and else is inacurate. It won't do you any good to tell yourself you have any less of a chance then other guys. If your attracted to a girl, and the setting is apropriate (which it almost always is) then just go for it. Stop this inner dialogue of self doubt.

[Cobra_X30]

Wow many sweeping statements India and Americans. First off most of the stuff you read here and else is inacurate. It won't do you any good to tell yourself you have any less of a chance then other guys. If your attracted to a girl, and the setting is apropriate (which it almost always is) then just go for it. Stop this inner dialogue of self doubt.

 

Hey... why is everyone only chasing after white girls anyway??

 

I mean for heaven's sakes... if your uncomfortable and having no luck with them, why not go after a culture you DO have success with.

 

Is there suddenly a shortage of women from India? Are they hideously ugly or something?

 

Shoot, maybe try chasing african american women... there are some super hot ones out there, and I don't think they get much play. South American girls are often really pretty too.

 

Seriously, it sounds like these guys are just chasing women based on skin tone... .