jp Posted June 26, 2003 Share Posted June 26, 2003 I need advice. I have had a ldr with my bf for about 5 months now. He has been a blessing for me since my divorce a year ago. He's helped me see the light at the end of the tunnel. We had sex for the 1st time last week. I was fine and casual until that point and now I'm just emotional about everything. I am the type of person who has to know if this is going to last and I am having a hard time just 'having fun' and seeing what happens. I really like him and I'm afraid that I'm just going to get hurt. So, I mailed him a letter telling him how happy I am to have him in my life and like I said above how he is a blessing to me and all that. Then I ended the letter saying stuff like, I understand that these type of relationships don't usually work and if anything we could stay in touch as friends, blah blah blah. I think I'm trying to protect myself by acting like it doesn't matter if it works or not, and in reality I really really want this to work. How do you think he'll take the letter? Should I tell him how I really feel or would that be too eager? Any advice would be great!! Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted June 26, 2003 Share Posted June 26, 2003 So, you had sex with the guy, then sent him a letter mentioning how LDRs often don't work out? Huh? I think he is going to think you are weird. Stop analyzing everything so much. Who knows what will happen down the road, and you do yourself no good by stressing about what might happen and determining what you will do if things don't work out. (And realistically, you have no idea as of right now what your state of mind will be if things don't work out. It's fine and dandy to think now (when things are going well) that you will want to maintain a friendship, but if things go sour you may well feel different. I think you just need to relax and enjoy your relationship with him. Stop writing the letters, don't initiate relationship talks...just have fun. It's much too early to be analyzing the relationship and where it is going in such great detail. Just go with the flow. Force yourself. If you are finding it hard to force yourself, just remember that when women start analyzing and talking the relationship to death to their men, the men start to hear "blah, blah, blah, I'm a psycho, blah, blah, blah." Men don't (in general, there are always exceptions) like to discuss all this relationship stuff. They like to go with the flow, have fun, and see what happens. Please do just that, or you will definitely scare him off. Get your mind off this by doing other things and staying busy. Link to post Share on other sites
Dreamgirl03 Posted June 28, 2003 Share Posted June 28, 2003 I really dont think it is too strong. I mean, I am currently in a long distance relationship with a man I have known for about 4 years, and have liked alot for about 3. I realized i loved him 3 years ago..and wanted to tell him very badly, bu couldnt becuz i was afraid it`d be too strong and everything, so i let it go. Then he moved and dissapeared for 3 years...i moved on, then got hurt. Then a week ago, i contacted him..and we`ve been dating since that night. The very night after i contacted him, i told him how ive felt for the past 3 years about him and everything..and it turns out that he wanted to say the same things to me the entire time! So, i think that it is best to tell them how you feel..that way you know that they know..and hope that they will love you back. Link to post Share on other sites
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