carrotgirl Posted February 9, 2008 Share Posted February 9, 2008 Where's Carrot? I'm here. Where's GD? He's here too. 2 steps forward or 2 steps back? It depends on who you ask. Tango is the best metaphor I know for what we're dancing and Tango isn't for the weak spirited! Marcar. Responder. Equilibrio. Confianza. Pacienca. ¿Cuando? Last week GD gleefully shared his joy in playing a game with me. It was a funny game, silly and harmless, full of heart, flattering too. When he told me all I heard was that I'm probably being manipulated by GD all of the time without ever knowing what's happening. So much for trust. Yah. I know it isn't likely GD is always pulling strings. He told me about his game to share the joke and to restore the balance of power, not to make me feel unsafe. Instead of accepting and being easy within the moment, I stewed a whole day before responding in anger. I keep forgetting that no one owns the moment. Carrot Link to post Share on other sites
FLOWERYSTARS Posted February 10, 2008 Share Posted February 10, 2008 It is good to have faith, maybe even it is meant to be difficult. This observation may be incorrect. It seems that you do not feel secure, yet because you choose to have faith, you supress those feelings, until you cannot when you erupt in anger. Would it be better to reasonably discuss things more often without fear of rocking any boats? What is wrong with asking for commitment? Link to post Share on other sites
Author carrotgirl Posted February 11, 2008 Author Share Posted February 11, 2008 It is good to have faith, maybe even it is meant to be difficult. This observation may be incorrect. It seems that you do not feel secure, yet because you choose to have faith, you supress those feelings, until you cannot when you erupt in anger. Would it be better to reasonably discuss things more often without fear of rocking any boats? What is wrong with asking for commitment? Flowerystars, I'm with you. There is nothing wrong with asking for what we want. And I didn't explode, I went in the other direction, which was properly interpreted as anger. May I just say, he really was such a giant douche! There couldn't be a better descriptor! I don't think he was at all surprised I was angry. Anyway, I've been taking a little GD break. He can take a break. I can take a break. That is what will probably be a surprise. It's okay. I'm not angry any more and I'm not worried. We'll be okay. I'm pretty confident in myself and in GD's feelings for me. Carrot Link to post Share on other sites
FLOWERYSTARS Posted February 11, 2008 Share Posted February 11, 2008 Good. You should and I'm glad. Link to post Share on other sites
Author carrotgirl Posted February 11, 2008 Author Share Posted February 11, 2008 Here's the explosion. Just forget about everything I said. (And try to forget about this too because I'm sure I will when I cool off.) This man just tweaked my %$#&@! last nerve. I'VE HAD IT! HE'S ODIOUS! HE DOESN'T DESERVE TO BREATHE THE SAME AIR THAT I BREATHE! Carrot Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted February 11, 2008 Share Posted February 11, 2008 Last week GD gleefully shared his joy in playing a game with me. It was a funny game, silly and harmless, full of heart, flattering too. When he told me all I heard was that I'm probably being manipulated by GD all of the time without ever knowing what's happening. So much for trust. Yah. I know it isn't likely GD is always pulling strings. He told me about his game to share the joke and to restore the balance of power, not to make me feel unsafe. Instead of accepting and being easy within the moment, I stewed a whole day before responding in anger. Carrot - I'm sorry, maybe I'm just to literal to get it. But at the risk of looking stupid, I have to ask, can you elaborate a little more directly on what game he's been playing, how that has played out, how that changes your perception of what has been happening between the two of you, etc? And given all that, what did he do in this latest tweak? Link to post Share on other sites
Author carrotgirl Posted February 11, 2008 Author Share Posted February 11, 2008 (edited) Trimmer, I'll PM you with the details of the game, ridiculous as it was, it's so silly that it's personally identifiable if you just happen to be GD... The latest thing that has me spewing lava (STILL!) is work related and again, ridiculous but he came and asked for my support on something. I knew it was his way of getting me to engage after cutting off his Carrot supply last week but I could hardly turn down a work related request and I agreed with his platform. He let me argue on behalf of his platform and then did a 180, hanging me out to dry. Meanwhile, during this meeting, he stopped talking and started texting another colleague (in the same meeting) in front of me as I wasn't even in the meeting with them. I know they were discussing something else so I don't know why I boiled over but it was stupidly infuriating. I had nothing more to contribute so I left. If it had been someone else I would be over it by now. No lasting harm was done, if any and I'm burning mad anyway. Carrot Edited February 11, 2008 by carrotgirl Link to post Share on other sites
Author carrotgirl Posted February 12, 2008 Author Share Posted February 12, 2008 T, thanks for helping me keep it real. The molten hot magma stopped bubbling. This is probably a good thing. So I let the anger show and denied GD's existence again. So so? Too late to take that interaction back now. Chock it up to Carrot having another Rhett Butler moment. Link to post Share on other sites
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