Mother-in-law trouble... help me please!

[Cora]

Please help me!

 

I don't know what to do about my mother-in-law. At my wedding this weekend she was very distressed to find out that I was tossing my bouquet without keeping one for myself. I tried to tell her that I would have plenty of pictures of the bouquet and that was enough for me. This was not acceptable to her so she started to plot behind my back. I caught wind of the situation as someone informed me that she planned to ask who ever caught the bouquet to hand it over. I was very disappointed at this news and informed some of my single friends that if they caught the bouquet I would very much like for them to have it and that they should not in any way feel compelled to fork it over. When it was time to toss the bouquet a single friend of my mother-in-law informed me that she HAD to catch the bouquet and I later found out that she had been instructed to get it no matter what. When I tossed the bouquet my cousin caught it and my mother-in-law's friend pushed her down and snatched it out of her hands! I later had to search for a bandage for this girl as she had skinned her knee in the fall.

 

I have been informed that my mother-in-law intends to present me with the preserved bouquet as a gift. The trouble is how do I accept this gift that I do not want. I am deeply offended by the manner in which she procured the bouquet and do not want to encourage any future behavior like this. On the other hand when my husband and I have gone against her in the past she has made the situation quite ugly for all involved. Do I offend her or is it not worth it?

 

Please post me back. My email is receiving but not sending messages and I need to know what to do.

[Sula]

I think that you should accept this gift graciously. She will present it to you, you should just smile with your lips closed (to show that you are not overjoyed) and say "thank you for the gift." Then get up and put it away (possibly to throw away,later, yes?). Perhaps you could look at the bouquet and say, "I feel so awful that the woman who caught it was so eager that she injured one of my friends. I wonder why she didn't want to keep it as a memento?" Just to remind your mother-in-law that what she did was wrong and it hurt people.

 

My mother always taught me to be gracious even in situations where you are perhaps uncomfortable or unhappy. She always told me to hold my head high and smile serenely and that is my revenge.

 

Incidentally, both of my sisters tried to preserve their bouqets and ended up just throwing htem away, saying that they didn't need moldy or dusty old symbols of their ever growing love.

[james]

Cora, having had a couple of mother in laws I understand your situation... here is what I would do, gracefully except the bouquet from her if she offers it, then igve it to the person that cought it, or you can through it out, and buy a new one for the person that cought it. just take care if this person since she means more to you than the mother in law...james

Please help me! I don't know what to do about my mother-in-law. At my wedding this weekend she was very distressed to find out that I was tossing my bouquet without keeping one for myself. I tried to tell her that I would have plenty of pictures of the bouquet and that was enough for me. This was not acceptable to her so she started to plot behind my back. I caught wind of the situation as someone informed me that she planned to ask who ever caught the bouquet to hand it over. I was very disappointed at this news and informed some of my single friends that if they caught the bouquet I would very much like for them to have it and that they should not in any way feel compelled to fork it over. When it was time to toss the bouquet a single friend of my mother-in-law informed me that she HAD to catch the bouquet and I later found out that she had been instructed to get it no matter what. When I tossed the bouquet my cousin caught it and my mother-in-law's friend pushed her down and snatched it out of her hands! I later had to search for a bandage for this girl as she had skinned her knee in the fall. I have been informed that my mother-in-law intends to present me with the preserved bouquet as a gift. The trouble is how do I accept this gift that I do not want. I am deeply offended by the manner in which she procured the bouquet and do not want to encourage any future behavior like this. On the other hand when my husband and I have gone against her in the past she has made the situation quite ugly for all involved. Do I offend her or is it not worth it? Please post me back. My email is receiving but not sending messages and I need to know what to do.

[Shirley]

Please help me! I don't know what to do about my mother-in-law. At my wedding this weekend she was very distressed to find out that I was tossing my bouquet without keeping one for myself. I tried to tell her that I would have plenty of pictures of the bouquet and that was enough for me. This was not acceptable to her so she started to plot behind my back. I caught wind of the situation as someone informed me that she planned to ask who ever caught the bouquet to hand it over. I was very disappointed at this news and informed some of my single friends that if they caught the bouquet I would very much like for them to have it and that they should not in any way feel compelled to fork it over. When it was time to toss the bouquet a single friend of my mother-in-law informed me that she HAD to catch the bouquet and I later found out that she had been instructed to get it no matter what. When I tossed the bouquet my cousin caught it and my mother-in-law's friend pushed her down and snatched it out of her hands! I later had to search for a bandage for this girl as she had skinned her knee in the fall. I have been informed that my mother-in-law intends to present me with the preserved bouquet as a gift. The trouble is how do I accept this gift that I do not want. I am deeply offended by the manner in which she procured the bouquet and do not want to encourage any future behavior like this. On the other hand when my husband and I have gone against her in the past she has made the situation quite ugly for all involved. Do I offend her or is it not worth it? Please post me back. My email is receiving but not sending messages and I need to know what to do.

 

Hi Cora!

 

Your husband should stick up for you as far as dealing with his mother. And since she physically hurt your cousin, you should in some way confront her. This is a touchy subject though. You are related to this woman. She is your husband's mother, and it really is not wise to start a feud. Talk to your husband first, then you and he should sit down and talk to his mother together. Your husband loves you, and he should be on your side, supporting you. And I am in no way saying to start a fight, but talk to her about how it made you feel when she pulled that stunt.