sally4sara Posted February 12, 2008 Share Posted February 12, 2008 I said I had worked as a stripper. You think it is synonymous with whore. Stripper/whore is the text way of saying this. Link to post Share on other sites
basicinstinct Posted February 12, 2008 Share Posted February 12, 2008 I said I had worked as a stripper. You think it is synonymous with whore. Stripper/whore is the text way of saying this. It seems that men sometimes have sex with strippers at bachelor parties, no? If the strippers are having sex for cash then aren't those particular strippers actually whores (ie prostitutes)? This is not a judgment call. Hell, I've acted as an unpaid whore myself in my time. Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted February 12, 2008 Share Posted February 12, 2008 Then they were not so much strippers as they were whores. Like a woman can say she is an actress but works as a waitress. In reality, she is a waitress who will take any part offered to her. A woman who is willing to have sex with the bachelor if the money is right is a whore who will take any stripping job if they don't offer enough money for the sex or if sex isn't requested. She would be a whore who will work as a stripper. An actual real stripper is simply just a stripper. She wouldn't have sex for any amount of money. What is the point, plenty of money to be made putting on a show without the legal risk or health risk. But a whore already knows she will step over that line with or without putting on a show. She just wears a costume as a pretense. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted February 12, 2008 Share Posted February 12, 2008 Then they were not so much strippers as they were whores. Like a woman can say she is an actress but works as a waitress. In reality, she is a waitress who will take any part offered to her. A woman who is willing to have sex with the bachelor if the money is right is a whore who will take any stripping job if they don't offer enough money for the sex or if sex isn't requested. She would be a whore who will work as a stripper. An actual real stripper is simply just a stripper. She wouldn't have sex for any amount of money. What is the point, plenty of money to be made putting on a show without the legal risk or health risk. But a whore already knows she will step over that line with or without putting on a show. She just wears a costume as a pretense. Lollipops in Daytona is notorious for having "strippers" that will blow their customers. Link to post Share on other sites
a4a Posted February 12, 2008 Share Posted February 12, 2008 Personally I object to the whole bachelor party idea, too. It's one thing to get together with the guys, drink, talk about guy things, whatever, it's a whole OTHER thing to get a private dancer and have her flap her pussy lips all over the bachelor's semi-nude body. . Thank you for the morning visual...... and I must admit that if one could flap their lips I may want to watch that just one time. Link to post Share on other sites
Brenna79 Posted February 12, 2008 Share Posted February 12, 2008 I think your post was very well-written and articulate, OP That said, in a way I think you are....in a very roundabout and wordy way....trying not to admit what is very obvious. You ARE jealous and you DO have a problem with strippers around your man. In some situations, as you pointed out, you do not have a problem with strippers. In this case however, you DO have a problem with strippers. It is partially a trust issue, partially a lack-of-control issue. Is dancing well and dancing poorly really all that different? Come on now. I think you would like to consider yourself a liberated, open-minded, possibly even bi-leaning gal who is really, totally OK with the stripper industry. On the other hand, you are really not OK with it and you don't like that you're not OK with it. You know what? It's OK to be not OK with it. Tell your fiancee....."Regardless of whatever I've said before, in this instance, I am NOT Ok with this" You do not have to justify your feelings with an intellectual arguement. Your feelings are what they are. Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted February 12, 2008 Share Posted February 12, 2008 I must be from the lame and tame group of friends. I went on a hen or bachelorette weekend this weekend just past, and it was one of the best weekends I have had for a long time. There were no strippers, no nutsacks, and not that much alcohol in the end, most people were in bed by midnight. (there were 2 pregnant women attending). There WAS a chicken suit, a few wigs, alot of laughs, and a group of 18 good friends who don't see enough of eachother enjoying the opportunity to spend some "quality" time together. I suspect my own one at the end of the year will be similar. My BF was 100% OK with me going (and it was for a whole weekend) just as I would be fine with him going. He has been to one since we have been together, and there were lapdances bought for the bachelor, who was so boozed, I doubt he has clear memories of it. And they were in a stripclub where touching the girls was not allowed- and there were big badass bouncers to enforce it. When my fiance has HIS stag/ bachelor party, all I care about is that he makes it to the wedding with all limbs and both eyebrows intact. A friend of a friend got married to her man who had "broken his leg" while on his bachelor party. His friends who are doctors helpfully put it in a cast for him, and only told him AFTER the wedding and the beachside honeymoon that is was never broken in the first place. THAT would be a million times worse than a poxy lapdance IMO. Link to post Share on other sites
basicinstinct Posted February 13, 2008 Share Posted February 13, 2008 Thank you for the morning visual...... and I must admit that if one could flap their lips I may want to watch that just one time. :D:D Flap, flap Link to post Share on other sites
Walk Posted February 13, 2008 Share Posted February 13, 2008 Would you marry a man you believed would have sex with, or allow private parts to come into contact to such a degree that he could get off, with another woman while at his bachelor party? Answer that assuming you had no emotional commitment/ties to the guy in question. I wouldn't. There are numerous situations in which my partner could have sexual contact with another woman that I would never know about. Times when he's traveling, or I'm gone for a weekend, or whatever. He would be free to do anything he wanted and I wouldn't know. I don't think I could marry a man who I believed would drop his trousers for another girl regardless of whether its his bachelor party or not. These situations will crop up at later times in life, and I need to have the faith and belief that my partner is going to honor his vows regardless of the situation. If I didn't have that faith/belief pre-marriage, I won't have that post-wedding either. And it would eventually create enough issues in the marriage to destroy it. But I'm wondering how others feel about this? Would you, or have you, married a guy who you believe would go past accepted ideas of "too far" on his bachelor party? Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted February 13, 2008 Share Posted February 13, 2008 . If I didn't have that faith/belief pre-marriage, I won't have that post-wedding either. And it would eventually create enough issues in the marriage to destroy it. Fantastic point Walk. Exactly. But I'm wondering how others feel about this? Would you, or have you, married a guy who you believe would go past accepted ideas of "too far" on his bachelor party? No, I wouldn't. I am marrying a guy who I know won't go past my accepted ideas of "too far", because they are his ideas too. Hence my relaxation about his party, and his attendance at other peoples parties. Link to post Share on other sites
CaringSoul Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 How would you feel if you were married a few years, and your husband attended someone elses BP and then got a lap dance? Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 Come on..don't be a party pooper... He will be sooo embarassed if you go there with all his friends around.. I think people would LAUGH AT YOU... really.. Tell him to wear underwear.. just in case.. Or tell him you will have a bachelorette party with a private male dancer... just for you.. what's good for one is good for the other... Otherwise.. I say relax.. if he wants to cheat, he will ...anyway.. so don't be too strict about a stripper ... really... Link to post Share on other sites
rainfall Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 Come on..don't be a party pooper... He will be sooo embarassed if you go there with all his friends around.. I think people would LAUGH AT YOU... really.. Tell him to wear underwear.. just in case.. Or tell him you will have a bachelorette party with a private male dancer... just for you.. what's good for one is good for the other... Otherwise.. I say relax.. if he wants to cheat, he will ...anyway.. so don't be too strict about a stripper ... really... Why shoouldn't she be strict about it? If she believes it is cheating and goes against her believes why should she allow it just because it is for a bachelor party?.... I Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 Why shoouldn't she be strict about it? If she believes it is cheating and goes against her believes why should she allow it just because it is for a bachelor party?.... I I'm saying she will be laughed at if she goes with him... I know I would think that the wife-to-be would be insecure and goofy to go to her soon-to-be husband's bachelor party... You have to admit that this is a bit overboard... Link to post Share on other sites
rainfall Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 I'm saying she will be laughed at if she goes with him... I know I would think that the wife-to-be would be insecure and goofy to go to her soon-to-be husband's bachelor party... You have to admit that this is a bit overboard... Actually I don't think its overboard. I think lap dances and strippers are a deal breaker in a relationship no matter what the circumstances. If she feel liks lap dances are a deal breaker then her soon to be husband she respect her on that. Just because a guy is getting married it shouldn't throw all the "rules" out the window just for a bachelor party. Link to post Share on other sites
KenzieAbsolutely Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 (edited) I just want to say I think the idea of a co-ed bachelor/ette party is dumb. The idea of them is the "last night out" before the wedding. i never got this 'last night out' deal. it certainly isn't a person's last night out. it also isn't the 'last night of being single' because if you think of yourself as single the weekend/night before you get married, you shouldn't have gotten engaged in the first place. just my opinion, i know people's differ. but ew. it sounds like a really lame excuse for guys to go out and do disgusting things that they KNOW they shouldn't be doing. i know, trust and all that, but face; some guys you think you can trust until you find out the phukked a stripper at his bachelor party. do i think my fiance would phukk some ho at a bachelor party? no, i don't. but do i want to be with someone who would even want to consider putting himself in such a position in total disregard to my feelings? no again. and then there's the 'but my friends expect it...' excuse. i don't know about anyone else, but if that's really the only reason, i still don't want a man who doesn't know how to stand up for himself. when i even slightly mentioned i was a little hesitant about that kind of a bachelor party, mine told me 'i wouldn't want that kind anyway, so you have nothing to worry about, and if i did want that kind, i wouldn't have it if you had a problem with it.' so in my opinion, the ones that fight the hardest for these kinds of parties have an agenda, and it's not an innocent one. otherwise, they would have no problem saying 'no big deal, we'll do something else'. just something to think about. if it's all just good, clean fun, why do some of them act like their very lives depend on having strippers at their bachelor parties, to the point of causing problems in their relationships? i just don't buy it. Edited February 20, 2008 by KenzieAbsolutely Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 Actually I don't think its overboard. I think lap dances and strippers are a deal breaker in a relationship no matter what the circumstances. If she feel liks lap dances are a deal breaker then her soon to be husband she respect her on that. Just because a guy is getting married it shouldn't throw all the "rules" out the window just for a bachelor party. I know.. I understand.. but let's look at a bachelorette party.. Let's say the girls take the STBB out for a girl's night out.. they are stopping every man they meet on the street to pay to take a candy off the girl with his teeth...and the girls put the candies at crucial places.. lol they have the STBB kiss some guys out in the bar.. etc.. Some have wild parties, women can be even 'wilder' when hot guys are around.. I know, I've seen this.. So.. my point.. do you think that the STBB will sleep with one of those guys on her last night out with the girls.. I don't think so.. she's having a good time.. drinking and having fun with some guys she'll never see again. I think she needs to relax a little bit.. Not all men that get lap dances go out with the dancer.. lol I personally see nothing wrong with his last night out with the boys.. she should kiss him before he leaves and say: go on sweetie, enjoy yourself.. cause this will be your last night in a strippers' club.. lol I think she's being controlling if she does that.. and if she goes with the boys.. then she will be seen as a real insecure 'loser'.. She will look like a fool.. IMO if she goes with him.. Link to post Share on other sites
KenzieAbsolutely Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 He will be sooo embarassed if you go there with all his friends around.. I think people would LAUGH AT YOU... really.. coming from someone who has no self-respect or respect for others' relationships, i would take this advice with a grain of salt. no offense, lizzie. if my fiance's friends every treated me that way, laughing at me or embarrassing me some way, he wouldn't allow it. not for a second. some people's relationships are respectful of each other like that. it's sad that all aren't (negating the ones who have no problem with it. if you don't, then by all means, go for it. ) edited: i don't think it's any less controlling for a man to say 'i'm having paid naked women at my party before we get married or else, so deal with it.' Link to post Share on other sites
mental_traveller Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 What is your question exactly? I read the whole post and I didn't get what you were asking. Anyway, there seems a pretty easy way to deal with this. A bachelor party, but no lapdance or really up close stuff, no clothes removed etc. Wouldn't that be a fair compromise, seeing as you don't seem to object to it? A joint party isn't a bachelor party, is it? If you force him to do that, you might as well put a tattoo on his forehead saying "My fiancee keeps my balls in a jar", because that is the reputation he will have with his friends from then on. Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 How would you feel if you were married a few years, and your husband attended someone elses BP and then got a lap dance? Well, we are one of the last couples of our friends to get married, but I guess its a valid point. A) I know his feelings on this, he knows mine, and I know that he wouldn't. I would never disrespect his feelings enough to try to stop him going to a friends bachelor party= his part of the deal is that he doesn't get a lapdance. He honestly isn't into that stuff. Not that we have had to discuss it in much detail TBH. B) I know the (low) calibre of the strippers in the town we will be living in, and in the unlikely event he DID get a lapdance after we were married I would think it was :laugh:. Link to post Share on other sites
KenzieAbsolutely Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 What is your question exactly? I read the whole post and I didn't get what you were asking. Anyway, there seems a pretty easy way to deal with this. A bachelor party, but no lapdance or really up close stuff, no clothes removed etc. Wouldn't that be a fair compromise, seeing as you don't seem to object to it? A joint party isn't a bachelor party, is it? If you force him to do that, you might as well put a tattoo on his forehead saying "My fiancee keeps my balls in a jar", because that is the reputation he will have with his friends from then on. good point, mt...i didn't think of this way. OP, you say you don't have a problem with it...but all signs point to the opposite. you say you don't want to--to use mt's words--keep your fiance's balls in a jar, yet technically, that's what your saying you want to do; you don't want him to have this party despite all the things you're saying about you having no issues with it. if you don't have an issue with it, why the lengthy post about........all the issues you have with it? (the only thing i disagree with somewhat is the last part of mt's post...i wouldn't want to be with someone who worries about his reputation with his friends based on a bachelor party more than he worried about my feelings on the subject. it's not high school anymore, your life should not be based on impressing your friends. but i can be girly like that and all. ) just come out with it and be honest. you have a right to your feelings, you don't have to try to be 'cool girl'. Link to post Share on other sites
mental_traveller Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 I think a hell of a lot men actually have sex with the so-called strippers at bachelor parties. It's commonplace. Damn scary. In the minority of cases, yes. But a guy who is gonna cheat on his bachelor night, can cheat anytime during the marriage too. You can't force a determined cheat to be faithful. You can ask that your partner be respectful and not cross the line you consider to be cheating or distasteful conduct (e.g. touching, lapdancing, or more). But you can't guarantee they won't cross that line, and there is no point trying because any time you are not around, they could be bonking the local floozy or calling an escort agency anyway. You decide either to trust your partner or not, and if you trust them, just give them your "ground rules" and then let them follow those rules. If you don't trust them, you shouldn't even consider getting married. Link to post Share on other sites
mental_traveller Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 Personally I object to the whole bachelor party idea, too. It's one thing to get together with the guys, drink, talk about guy things, whatever, it's a whole OTHER thing to get a private dancer and have her flap her pussy lips all over the bachelor's semi-nude body. That's just gross. You talk as if all bachelor parties are full-on orgies. A lot of bachelor parties are just some normal guy having a bit of fun ogling some strippers who go topless at most. It's no different to some girls going to a Chippendales show. Nothing about the guy disrobing, let alone getting some nude stripper grinding her pelvis on his bits. Link to post Share on other sites
KenzieAbsolutely Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 In the minority of cases, yes. But a guy who is gonna cheat on his bachelor night, can cheat anytime during the marriage too. You can't force a determined cheat to be faithful. i agree with this to some extent, because it's probably true. but really, even a person who wouldn't normally cheat on a test might do so if presented with the answers and the knowledge that no one would find out. someone on a diet is a lot more likely to cheat on that diet if a brownie is placed in front of them, rather than if they have to walk to the store to get it. mmm. brownies. i think a guy is a lot more likely to cheat/do something else inappropriate in an environment where not only is it expected and encouraged, and often accepted, but where he would be considered a p-u-s-s-y if he doesn't go through it. if he can't even tell his friends he doesn't want strippers at his party, he's more than likely not going to man up and say 'stop the madness!' with a hot chick riding his pecker while they're all cheering him on getting him trashed. i would not marry that kind of man, but i guess i'm picky. i like strength of character in the appropriate places. that sounded almost dirty...but it wasn't meant to. maybe i meant at the appropriate times. Link to post Share on other sites
rainfall Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 I know.. I understand.. but let's look at a bachelorette party.. Let's say the girls take the STBB out for a girl's night out.. they are stopping every man they meet on the street to pay to take a candy off the girl with his teeth...and the girls put the candies at crucial places.. lol they have the STBB kiss some guys out in the bar.. etc.. Some have wild parties, women can be even 'wilder' when hot guys are around.. I know, I've seen this.. So.. my point.. do you think that the STBB will sleep with one of those guys on her last night out with the girls.. I don't think so.. she's having a good time.. drinking and having fun with some guys she'll never see again. I think she needs to relax a little bit.. Not all men that get lap dances go out with the dancer.. lol I personally see nothing wrong with his last night out with the boys.. she should kiss him before he leaves and say: go on sweetie, enjoy yourself.. cause this will be your last night in a strippers' club.. lol I guess my whole point is why do these people even need to do these things on "there last night of freedom ever." If you really view marriage like this then what is the point of getting married in the first place? (meaning if you view it as losing freedom) If someone views spending a last night with women like the ones in the strip clubs as unacceptable then a SO should respect that. It should not matter what it is for. Why should she allow something that she doesn't believe in? Link to post Share on other sites
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