sb129 Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 i i think a guy is a lot more likely to cheat/do something else inappropriate in an environment where not only is it expected and encouraged, and often accepted, but where he would be considered a p-u-s-s-y if he doesn't go through it. if he can't even tell his friends he doesn't want strippers at his party, he's more than likely not going to man up and say 'stop the madness!' with a hot chick riding his pecker while they're all cheering him on getting him trashed. My guy is strong enough to say no to his friends, and his friends aren't the kind of people who would judge him for saying no to anything. A good friends of mines STBH refused to have a bachelor party at all because he hates being the centre of attention. SHE wanted him to have a good time with his friends, he didn't want one. His friends totally respected that, and she felt bad because we all went away for a girly weekend, and he stayed home alone watching sport- thats what he wanted. If you have the kind of friends that would make you do that kind of stuff knowing either your or your partners feelings on it, thats also kind of disrespectful. My BF is having his bachelor party as a fishing trip, and my dad and brother are both going. Unless the stripper is a mermaid, I highly doubt there will even be one. Link to post Share on other sites
KenzieAbsolutely Posted February 21, 2008 Share Posted February 21, 2008 My guy is strong enough to say no to his friends, and his friends aren't the kind of people who would judge him for saying no to anything. A good friends of mines STBH refused to have a bachelor party at all because he hates being the centre of attention. SHE wanted him to have a good time with his friends, he didn't want one. His friends totally respected that, and she felt bad because we all went away for a girly weekend, and he stayed home alone watching sport- thats what he wanted. If you have the kind of friends that would make you do that kind of stuff knowing either your or your partners feelings on it, thats also kind of disrespectful. My BF is having his bachelor party as a fishing trip, and my dad and brother are both going. Unless the stripper is a mermaid, I highly doubt there will even be one. oh i agree, mine is the same way, he doesn't want a 'traditional' party. i'm happy i don't have to deal with it. i do think 'friends' like are insanely disrespectful. so...if there happens to be a stripper-mermaid...would you be mad? i mean, i know it's unlikely, but would you? Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted February 21, 2008 Share Posted February 21, 2008 oh i agree, mine is the same way, he doesn't want a 'traditional' party. i'm happy i don't have to deal with it. i do think 'friends' like are insanely disrespectful. so...if there happens to be a stripper-mermaid...would you be mad? i mean, i know it's unlikely, but would you? Nah. I can't control what BFs friends do, and knowing them, I imagine the whole thing would be more comedy than class if they did get a stripper. Link to post Share on other sites
spookie Posted February 21, 2008 Share Posted February 21, 2008 (edited) but here's my .02. I'm a stripper, and strippers are TRASHY! Probably more trashy than you think. And it's true that many of them are prostitutes, even at the "high-class" clubs (I resent this fact as it's hard to compete with actual hookers). I mean, it's a natural progression from dancer to whore - the job calls into question all sorts of things about sexuality, such as "what is so sacred about sex that I should not sleep with this nice, clean guy who's probably great in bed for a couple hundred dollars?" I mean if you're having random sex anyway, which is acceptable in our society nowadays, what's so wrong about doing it for money? (I've never prostituted myself, but I have given this a lot of thought and I don't have a good answer.) What's also true is that most men are pervs. There are the strip club regulars, of course, whom you expect to be pervs... but there are also always the guys who have never been to a club before, who probably aren't even very experienced and really nice guys overall... but get a horny drunk naked chick dry-humping their crotches and they're as pervy as anyone else. I guess it's biological. Even gay guys get boners when I "dance" for them. IMO it's totally disrespectful to your SO to get private dances. I always feel really sorry for the wives/ SO's of the guys that come in (so sorry I always steal their ties in petty acts of vengeance.) I completely understand that it's not about jealousy or trust. It's about respect and preventing double standards. I doubt your bf would like it very much if you went somewhere and paid another guy to dry-hump you, a thin layer of fabric separating his boner against your wet vagina. Cause, that's what it's equivalent to. Edited February 21, 2008 by spookie Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted February 22, 2008 Share Posted February 22, 2008 I don't think it's your business what he does at his bachelor party. Just worry about your wedding showers! Link to post Share on other sites
Walk Posted February 22, 2008 Share Posted February 22, 2008 "what is so sacred about sex that I should not sleep with this nice, clean guy who's probably great in bed for a couple hundred dollars?" I mean if you're having random sex anyway, which is acceptable in our society nowadays, what's so wrong about doing it for money? (I've never prostituted myself, but I have given this a lot of thought and I don't have a good answer.) As far as the radom sex with or without money... There is no painted line between prostitution and not prostitution. We're all (even men) prostituting ourselves to some degree for something we want in return. I'm a prostitute for my job. They pay me to do things I wouldn't do for someone who didn't pay me. People were told something when they were really young, and they've never bothered to examine it again unless they were forced into an extreme situation where they had to. (like your situation) I think the distate of prostitution comes from the harmful effects that can be caused. i.e. cheating spouses, drugs, std's, death. Prostitution is normally associated with a bad lifestyle, bad life choices, and extremely risky behavior. That's what makes prostitution bad. But the idea of trading your effort (either sex, or mowing lawns) for money isn't inheriently wrong. We all do it. I've traded blowjobs with my fiance for going with me to something he absolutely did not want to go to. Why is that different then trading sex for something more concrete? I don't believe it is. I gave something he wanted, I got something I wanted. Its called bartering. Men will proclaim over and over that they would have no problem with their gf/wife having a male stripper. As long as you never actually do anything like that, then they're fine with it. But if they saw you dry humping the guy then its a WHOLE 'nother story. Link to post Share on other sites
rainfall Posted February 23, 2008 Share Posted February 23, 2008 I don't think it's your business what he does at his bachelor party. Just worry about your wedding showers! It is her business if he is going to do something she finds to be offensive. Link to post Share on other sites
mental_traveller Posted February 24, 2008 Share Posted February 24, 2008 What's also true is that most men are pervs. There are the strip club regulars, of course, whom you expect to be pervs... but there are also always the guys who have never been to a club before, who probably aren't even very experienced and really nice guys overall... but get a horny drunk naked chick dry-humping their crotches and they're as pervy as anyone else. I guess it's biological. Even gay guys get boners when I "dance" for them. What's perverted about a man being turned on by a naked woman? Surely that is entirely natural, if it wasn't for that urge then the human race would have died out a long time ago. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 It is her business if he is going to do something she finds to be offensive. She's not suppose to know. It is a bachelor party for a reason. Women need to get their own thing going and stop being so darn insecure! Link to post Share on other sites
rainfall Posted February 27, 2008 Share Posted February 27, 2008 She's not suppose to know. It is a bachelor party for a reason. Women need to get their own thing going and stop being so darn insecure! They are getting married. She has every right to know what he is doing for his bachelor party. Whether its something as simple as a golfing weekend she still has a right to know. A women has every right to tell a man what is and is not acceptable for a bachelor party. It has nothing to do with being insecure. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 If a man loves a woman enough to marry her and spend the rest of his life with her, she should at least have enough faith in him to trust him for "one night" with the guys to have fun. If she's that insecure, clingy and needy she probably doesn't need to get married in the first place. My gawd, no wonder guys don't want to marry! If anyone acted that insecure with me it would scare me and the wedding would be off! Link to post Share on other sites
rainfall Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 If a man loves a woman enough to marry her and spend the rest of his life with her, she should at least have enough faith in him to trust him for "one night" with the guys to have fun. If she's that insecure, clingy and needy she probably doesn't need to get married in the first place. My gawd, no wonder guys don't want to marry! If anyone acted that insecure with me it would scare me and the wedding would be off! If a man loves a women enough to marry her then he shouldn't need "one last night of freedom." He should respect her feelings enough not to do something that would make her unhappy. She should be able to say no lap dances or no strip clubs or no whatever and he should respect that. Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 Now, Now you two. You're both sort of right. For anyone to be wise in picking a partner for marriage, your ideals should match up enough that neither person should fret much over what MIGHT happen. No one should have to get on a soap box and lecture about what the other should or shouldn't be allowed to do. If you have to tell your partner what they are allowed to do then maybe you shouldn't be getting married to them. Link to post Share on other sites
rainfall Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 Now, Now you two. You're both sort of right. For anyone to be wise in picking a partner for marriage, your ideals should match up enough that neither person should fret much over what MIGHT happen. No one should have to get on a soap box and lecture about what the other should or shouldn't be allowed to do. If you have to tell your partner what they are allowed to do then maybe you shouldn't be getting married to them. I do agree with you however for some reason alot of people seem to think that "anything goes" at a bachelor party and it should be ok. I don't reallu understand that line of thinking so I think it should be ok for both parties to make sure their opinons are on the same page on this subject. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 I don't feel that anything goes in any relationship. However, I don't understand how one can trust a man enough to marry and spend the rest of your life with him but yet be too insecure to let him have a "one night" bachelor party before he takes his wedding vows. What do these women think he is going to do? Run off with a stripper? Where is the trust? Link to post Share on other sites
rainfall Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 I don't feel that anything goes in any relationship. However, I don't understand how one can trust a man enough to marry and spend the rest of your life with him but yet be too insecure to let him have a "one night" bachelor party before he takes his wedding vows. What do these women think he is going to do? Run off with a stripper? Where is the trust? It has nothing to do with trust. It has to do with what someone does or does not find acceptable. If on any other day lap dances and/or strip clubs are a deal breaker why should they be allowed just because it is for one night of a bachelor party? Link to post Share on other sites
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