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how do i change???...Plz Reply


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Ok I met this guy last summer.....we went out off and on, it was great, but he had to move away. I was so upset. When he moved we only went out once. But altogether we went out 3 times. I treated him bad....not when we went out but when we were only friends. I would go behind his back and talk ****, I would backstab him, and I would lie about it all the time. I dont know why cuz I did love him. I remember the first time I met him, he was so sweet and nice and he would kid around with me and we were such a cute couple everyone said. It was perfect. I guess I kinda have a problem. Id hurt him constantly but then again i wanted him to stay. He would stay and put up with all of it, but told me to change. I was like yeah I will ok I promise. But I neva did. He says that I was making him go crazy, he's have blackouts cuz of me, she say when my trust with him is high Id always mess it up. We tried off and on for a year and a half to make our friendship work.....I guess in the end it wasnt meant to be. I lost him both as a friend and boyfriend. I cry off and on about it, one day im fine but the next I think about our memories and I break down. SO now my questions are:

 

1. Is there a way I can change with out going to a counsiler Im only 14 and I tried to go to a person to talk to is doesnt help. I only go and do it again

 

2. Is there a way to get him back, he is stubborn and doesnt show his feelings...I tired to get him back....but he dont trust me. Is there a way I can get my trust back with him, and actually mean it.

 

Thxss

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crzybeautifl88

There is some bad news to this. Sometimes after you have hurt someone repeatedly you can't get their trust back. You might have to chalk it up as a lesson well learned. When you do things you don't like over and over again, you have a reason your doing it. You may be afraid of getting hurt ext......... your going to have to figure it out within yourself. While your doing that it might be best if you weren't with anyone. Focus on you for awhile. your only 14, it seems hard now but in the long run you are going to be glad that u did. You have your whole life ahead of you.

 

If you are set on getting this guy back in your life then your going to have to be his friend first. When you tell him that your going to change,your going to have to realise that he might not believe you at first......... don't get mad. I think the main reason you ''back stabbed'' him was b/c u were afraid of how u looked in front of other people when they knew u were with him.You shouldn't care what people think.

 

I hope everything works out for you. goodluck

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Yup I agree. I think the change will come from maybe learning that all of your actions have consequences.

 

Will that get him back? I highly doubt it.

 

How's that saying go? Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me. Why would he come back for another round of beatings?

 

Like crazy said, chalk it up to growing up and move along.

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