Should I ask him?

[Debbie]

I love my b/f. No doubt about it. He loves me as well. He is not interested in marriage - he feels that it is not necessary to bond with someone via paper. He and I agree that children will not be a part of our future as well. I cannot help but feel the urge to ask him to marry me. We've been dating for a while and are seriously involved. He doesn't have insurance where he works and since I do, the primary reason for such a bond would be merely for convenience (benefits, taxes, etc.) I am head over heels for this guy. Do you think I should just bite my lip and refrain from asking him or should I just go for it?

[KM]

I love my b/f. No doubt about it. He loves me as well. He is not interested in marriage - he feels that it is not necessary to bond with someone via paper. He and I agree that children will not be a part of our future as well. I cannot help but feel the urge to ask him to marry me. We've been dating for a while and are seriously involved. He doesn't have insurance where he works and since I do, the primary reason for such a bond would be merely for convenience (benefits, taxes, etc.) I am head over heels for this guy. Do you think I should just bite my lip and refrain from asking him or should I just go for it?

Do yourself a favor, girl. Do not ask this guy to marry you. If you already know how he feels about marriage, then

 

maybe it would be best if you would just let it lie. He's already expressed his feelings on the subject. He wouldn't have said that he didn't see a need for marriage if he didn't mean it. If it's the coverage you want to give him, look into your state and health coverage rules/laws, and see if they allow domestic partnership so that you may put him on the coverage. The only thing about that is, you have to live together and show proof that the two of you share common household expenses.

 

And if you really want to get married and he is totally against it, find someone who has the same interests as you do. I know it will be hard, but it is even harder to live your life with someone who does not want the same things in life as you do. You will always be desiring the things that he can't/won't give you. Good luck!

[james]

Debbie, marriage is more than about insurance, it's about love, respect, patience, time, and a lot of other things that are not materialistic.. please excuse my spelling.. the fact of the mater is that when you marry some body it should never be for a reason that you can physically put your hands on except maybe his body... and that is also not a good reason ... only time will truely tell... give it that. good luck at true love.. james Do yourself a favor, girl. Do not ask this guy to marry you. If you already know how he feels about marriage, then maybe it would be best if you would just let it lie. He's already expressed his feelings on the subject. He wouldn't have said that he didn't see a need for marriage if he didn't mean it. If it's the coverage you want to give him, look into your state and health coverage rules/laws, and see if they allow domestic partnership so that you may put him on the coverage. The only thing about that is, you have to live together and show proof that the two of you share common household expenses. And if you really want to get married and he is totally against it, find someone who has the same interests as you do. I know it will be hard, but it is even harder to live your life with someone who does not want the same things in life as you do. You will always be desiring the things that he can't/won't give you. Good luck!

[Shirley]

I love my b/f. No doubt about it. He loves me as well. He is not interested in marriage - he feels that it is not necessary to bond with someone via paper. He and I agree that children will not be a part of our future as well. I cannot help but feel the urge to ask him to marry me. We've been dating for a while and are seriously involved. He doesn't have insurance where he works and since I do, the primary reason for such a bond would be merely for convenience (benefits, taxes, etc.) I am head over heels for this guy. Do you think I should just bite my lip and refrain from asking him or should I just go for it?

 

Hi!

 

You should just go for it. Does he know how you feel about marriage. He may be afraid to ask, for fear of you saying no. If you ask him, then he will know for sure that you want to, and he doesn't have to be afraid of being rejected. Also, he may just be putting up a front by telling you that he doesn't need a piece of paper to validate your love.