dusting23 Posted February 11, 2008 Share Posted February 11, 2008 Ok, i will try and make this short. Me and my wife have been married for almost 4 years now. about 2 years ago me and her made some huge mistakes. I got addicted to pain pills and our life turned to ****. I would spend all our money and pretty much worry about just myself. I knew she was lonely and wanted me to stop, but i wouldnt listen to anyone. During this time she started getting close with one of my friends. He was always @ the house, they where always doing stuff together. I was just so ****ed up on pills to realize what was going on. We ended up getting evicted from our house and that "friend" offered for us to live with him until we got our **** together. Well, It just got worse. They spent even more time together and I think my friend realized she was very vulnerable and purposely started getting between us. We where fighting so much, she and i decided the best thing to do would for me to stay @ my parents house while she stayed there. That was a horrible decision on my part. Anyway, i decided to go to rehab, but was so worried about that situation with my wife and friend that i only stayed 3 days. That day i left rehab, i was so embarassed i walked back to her, didnt call anyone for a ride. She took me back in and a few weeks later we moved out into a house together. Everything has been great but I knew something had went on between them but i didnt know how far it went. About a year later this rumor started floating around they where sleeping together, he got her pregnant and she had an abortion. I asked her about it many times but she said it never happened. So about 2 days ago i started investigating. Around the time we moved into the house she had went out of town to see a doctor because she was having stomach problems. This always worried me and i always found it weird she never talked about what happened @ the doctor that day. Long story short, i put the peices of the puzzle together and confronted her the other day. She finally told me that it was true, she had slept with him about 4 times and he got her pregnant and she aborted it. I am just so hurt that she took it this far, she has never done something like this before, and truthfully I would have never believed it if she hadnt told me herself. I am doing much better now with the drugs, i have been clean almost 2 years. I am just so hurt words can not explain, and its not the fact that she had sex with someone else, its that she was so careless and got pregnant. I wanted to be the one who got her pregnant the first time, not for her to go through this bull****. I dont feel like myself since i found out, I feel like something inside me has died, but the thing is I love her more than anything in the world, and i know for a fact she would never cheat on my again. I just cant get past this whole prenancy thing. I just dont know what to day. I feel like i am in a bad dream and havent woke up yet please say anything................... Link to post Share on other sites
HisLove Posted February 11, 2008 Share Posted February 11, 2008 Well I think you've really betrayed each other. You getting addicted to drugs and putting them first, and her having an affair and getting pregnant. You both dealt with your issues the best way you knew how at the time. You got yourself clean, and she didn't want the pregnancy and dealt with it. How about you forgive each other and move on. If you both agreed to 'better or worse'...well you've both been tested now. So move on from it. Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted February 11, 2008 Share Posted February 11, 2008 Wow. It sucks all around. I'm sorry for your pain, I'm right there feeling it for you brotha. But maybe you guys can forgive each other make the marriage new again. It's gonna take a long time to rebuild. but it's possible. What steps have you guys taken to mend things? Has she completely cut off the OM? Does she want to work this out? Link to post Share on other sites
Author dusting23 Posted February 11, 2008 Author Share Posted February 11, 2008 Thanks for your kind replies! Chrome Barracuda, you the other guy has completely been gone since the time we moved out into our house. We what steps need to be taking? are there like a standard set or something? Anyway, i know for a fact that should would never cheat on me again. She has told me like 100 times that it was the worst decision she has ever made. I know she is the one I am supposed to be with or I would not still be with her right now and i know she feels the same. Well, i gues we are taking minor steps to help our relationship, like 2 nights later, and i know this sounds super cheesey, but i lit a bunch of candles in our bedroom. We made love and i gave her an orgasm for the first time in 4 years. I know she had one because she started crying like 2 seconds after it was over, I thought I had done something wrong or mayshe got upset, but no! I actaully did it! When we first started dating she would always cry when she had an orgasm. Something special happened that night betwen us. Anyway, guys, does anyone know something things I can do to try and get over this? It pretty much consumes my mind, I am starting to re-evaluate my entire exsistance. I feel changed after this, I actually feel like a man, and I want to change so many things about my life. I feel like I actually have the motavation. Ok, i could type all day about this, anyone have some suggestions? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts