HappilyMe Posted June 27, 2003 Share Posted June 27, 2003 After graduating a few weeks ago, I've become very frustrated with my boyfriend of three years. I'm so excited about starting college in the fall, saving money, and setting out after my goals. Unfortunately he has no ambition and refuses to set goals. All he does is play this online fighting game for hours on end. I'm not sure where that leaves us in the future because I don't want to be stuck with someone who is on such a different level. He has always taken great care of me emotionally, but now I think i need more than that. Am I over reacting, or am I wasting my time? I try to talk to him but he doesn't see that there's anything wrong. That statement itself is enough to make me want out. I'd really appreciate any feedback. Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted June 27, 2003 Share Posted June 27, 2003 He may very well change in the years to come but that won't do you much good now. If he's been raised to be lazy or to use his time unwisely, as you said, you really don't need that. While you're young, you may as well learn it's very difficult to change people and you don't need to remain around those who need major overhauling. If this guy really loves you, he'll get off his butt. Tell him that's the way it's got to be. If that doesn't work, make yourself history in his life. Good luck in college. You seem to have a real go-getter attitude and that's what it takes to be successful these days. Link to post Share on other sites
baby phat Posted July 4, 2003 Share Posted July 4, 2003 well, i find myself in the same situation as u. my bf and i just graded this year..and i am going on to university..while he has no plan for college or at least adult education. and i tried to hint to him that education is probably the most decent way of getting a good job in the future...but he is in his own little world thinking that money will just drop from the sky and he'll just become rich out of nowhere. i think guys are generally more spoiled, and depending on their family backgrounds, they might be raised to think that they will inherit money or somehow win the damn lottery. and u mentioned how he's really into computer games..well..my bf is like that too. he's way too into cars and computers in general..so in order to combat that and get him out of his comp. room...u need to confront him and ask him if u or his computer is more important...and try to stall him and keep him away from his games for as long as u can. the best way to motivate him i would say is try to talk to him about stuff u learned at school that might interest him. or tell him how u enjoy learning and that u enjoy having conversations with ur classmates since they have so much in common with u and are so well-informed. if that still doesn't work...then i don't know. i am trying my best with my guy...always give him a bit of time to grow and for him to face reality and realize he needs an education. good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
dzynr Posted July 8, 2003 Share Posted July 8, 2003 I got together with my husband at a very young age, and motivation has been a big problem for us. I think I did all the right things by sharing my enthusiasm for things with him, giving him good advice when I could, not nagging and giving him space do do what he needed, as well as encouragement to follow his dreams. In the end, it wasn't until he realized we were drifting apart that he began finding his motivation. Motivation comes from within, and you can never tell what will push his button. Although I don't regret my relationship, I will say that there were moments where I sacrificed and felt "held back" because of his lack of motivation. My gut tells me that you should move on. I don't reccommend involving yourself with someone until you have developed as an adult, and that didn't happen for me until I was in my mid twenties, and I have always considered myself extremely mature for my age. (i'm 26) Link to post Share on other sites
A wanderer Posted July 9, 2003 Share Posted July 9, 2003 wait which game is this? J/K look you know if he really has an ambition for games tell him to get a job as a beta tester it pays well and all he does is play games. however tony makes a good point. im not trying to be one sided. Link to post Share on other sites
Princess Kate Posted May 2, 2004 Share Posted May 2, 2004 hey my Fince jeff is the same way he play games all the time to and dosent pay atteion to me sometimes always wants to go play his games nmb okay love to talk to you more Link to post Share on other sites
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