problem with a girl

[JLT123]

I honestly don't know what to do on this, so here goes:

 

I have been dating my girlfriend for around 2 years and we've broken up. We had been fighting all the time and I'm having a huge problem trusting her again to try and fix things. As well, there has been a girl at work that I have been very attracted to since I started working there, and that has made the situation even more complicated.

 

Around 3 months ago we started talking by chance through work and started to get to know each other better. I found I instantly felt so much more confortable talking with her, and even admitting things to her I could never admit to my girlfriend. We laugh all the time, and I love making her laugh. I essentially became totally attracted to her in every way, all at the same time things were going downhill with the girlfriend. It's safe to say I started talking to this other girl because of the problems I was having in my current relationship, nevertheless, I've come to the conclusion that I've really fallen for this other girl and I don't know what to do.

 

Things really started to pick up around 3 weeks ago. She broke up with her boyfriend of five years about 4 months ago and he still contacts her. There were issues that arose in their relationship that she felt obligated to continue to give him the time of day, for whatever reason. The arguing she went through with him was exactly like mine, and we bonded a lot with that in common. I always kidded about us going out, but being somewhat serious, and I pay her compliments all the time that she eats up. She then invited me out to meet her at a bar (which was the 2nd time she's done that but this is the fist time I actually met her) so myself and two friends did just that. When I saw her there she didn't want me to leave her side the entire time. I bought her a shot at the bar and we talked. I told her how I had always been attracted to her and that I thought she was beautiful. I ended up asking if she wanted to kiss and we did. We were both pretty drunk, but still, I'm pretty sure that meant she was at least attracted to me.

 

We talked while at work everyday for the next couple of weeks, then we started talking on the phone every night, which has been going on for about the past week or so. I had asked her out for the just the two of us more than a few times, and her answer was always, 'we'll see..'

 

She went to the bar this past Saturday and saw that someone wrote "I Love (my name)" on the wall of the stall and sent me a picture of it, then she left me a voicemail. She was a little buzzed, but I laughed and really didnt take it seriously. She invited me over to her house yesterday and she was making dinner. I brought over some drinks, but her roomate was there most of the time, so that kind of put a damper on things.

 

Her roomate was gone for about an hour and we talked. She basically told me that she was content right now being single, but she sends me so many mixed signals I don't know if it's something I should continue to pursue or just back off. She told me she's attracted to me, but she just doesn't want to get involved in anything right now. I basically told her that going out together one night doesn't really mean anything long term, but that it was cool. We watched amovie together and I could tell she was getting tired. I wanted to kiss her, or at least try something, but the vibe I was getting was a little cold. I left after the movie was over and I gave her a hug goodbye. She texted me good night on the way home and I texted back that it was hard to leave without kissing her.

 

We talked on the phone this morning and I told her how her roomate kind of derailed me because we were in the middle of conversation when she came back, and she basically told me that she would definitely explore something with me, but that now isn't the time for her, and she didn't know when she would be ready.

 

I can generally move on with things like this no problem, but with this girl it's really taken it's toll on me. I can't stop thinking about her, but I definitely don't want to overdo anything and make it look like I'm desperate. I know I should basically put the ball in her court, but I'm also afraid of what might happen if I just let her go. Any suggestions?

[EYECANDY000]

I need to change reponse! sowwie

Edited February 11, 2008 by EYECANDY000

[norajane]

She just got out of a 5 year relationship. Think about that - it's like a divorce.

 

She's not ready to date, says she's content being single.

 

Hang out with her if you like, but without expectations. Date other women, too. Maybe some time down the road when she has recovered and her ex is no longer contacting her, you can see if dating works.