Feeling down today - ex's birthday

[London Girl]

It's my ex's birthday today but I did not contact him although I wanted to. It's been 11 months since I last saw him and although time does heal some of the pain, I still to this day miss him. It would be one year next month since I lost our baby through an ectopic pregnancy.

 

I last contacted him by email 3 months ago just to say hi and in some ways find closure so I can move on. He replied saying he thought it would easier on both of us not to keep in contact but he did secretly wonder how I was.

 

I feel sad that someone I loved and cared about so much for 3 years is no longer part of my life and we probably will never see each other again. I want us to be friends but I feel stupid for asking him.

 

It hurts that he can move on so easily with his life and cowardly leave me so soon after I lost our child and he has not made any attempt to contact me since. I wonder whether he thinks about me and think about the good times we shared.

 

Perhaps I'm just having a bad emotional day - I just feel very sad.

[Haohmaru]

I thought about writing my ex on her birthday (the 13th, 2 days from now) but thought better of it. I'd love to hear people's thoughts on salvaging successful friendships. But other than that, LG, I just want to tell you you're not alone in feeling this way.

[mistie03]

I am feeling sad today, too. I was doing so well......I don't know what happened. I guess we all have good days and bad.

 

I made myself do a Salsa dancing workout. I also called a friend to meet me for a drink this evening. That should help me feel a little better.

 

I hope you feel better, LondonGirl. Hugs.

[Grace112]

LondonGirl, I know how hard it is to keep yourself from contacting your ex on his b-day. It might seem innocent enough, but it might end up hurting you in the long run if he doesn't respond in the manner which you hope he would. Take care of yourself and resist the temptation.

[Haohmaru]

I also called a friend to meet me for a drink this evening.

 

Drinks are always good. Alcohol is proof God loves us and wants us to be happy. :)

[matt367]

im sure he thinks about you but you shouldnt want him back after he left you. Go out and have that drink but dont contact him because nothing will happen and it seems he doesnt want to keep contact, so forget him. good luck feel better

[oh_what_am_I_doing]

There's good days and bad days during any grieving process, and you poor thing, you're not only grieving the loss of your significant other, but also the loss of a child. How terrible. And how heartless of him to leave you soon after a miscarriage. Just keep telling yourself that you wouldn't want a man that cold hearted anyway. And don't keep thinking about the good times you shared; instead dwell on the bad.

 

My advice would be to stay away from the alcohol. While it might make you feel good and forget about him for awhile, afterwards you'll likely feel even worse. Instead, surround yourself with family and friends and eat lots of chocolate! Valentines Day might be rough, so plan a day at the spa or something to keep your mind off of him. Maybe join an internet dating website and set yourself up on some dates. I did that when my ex and I broke up, and lo and behold, I met my husband that way!

[Haohmaru]

I'm goin to the beach and to pick up a friend from home. That will take my mind off it. And I'm gonna tell him, if you talk about your g/f, I'm leaving. And I'm taking the car with me.