LakesideDream Posted February 12, 2008 Share Posted February 12, 2008 Well I done gone and done it. I bought a near new Home today. Two Big Bedrooms and lots of space everywhere. I'm fully comitted now to the quest to win my MW. I'm going back to the old homestead tomorrow morning to begin packing and taking apart my old life to start anew. Stomach is roiling while I type this. My MW's valentine flowers were delivered this afternoon and she emailed me her joy. It felt weird knowing she was emailing from a couple of miles away instead of the usual 700. It was also weird to know that I would be right back here in a couple of months, and that a couple of months after that I would be "spilling the beans" to her that I live 7 miles away instead of 700 (I could have bought a nice house three blocks away, but didn't consider it). Boy is she gonna be pissed for awhile. The saga continues. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted February 12, 2008 Share Posted February 12, 2008 As long as you're okay with whatever happens...Good or bad. Let's hope she's not a curious type and checks the IP address....She'll know you're close by then. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LakesideDream Posted February 12, 2008 Author Share Posted February 12, 2008 As long as you're okay with whatever happens...Good or bad. Let's hope she's not a curious type and checks the IP address....She'll know you're close by then. I've been sending flowers through the same florist for seven years. I've also been emailing from the same account for the same period. There's absolutely nothing unusual or out of place sending her an email this afternoon. I doubt she would know an IP from a PeePee... I could barely manage to search like that. And... I'm sure she would be curious as heck if she had a clue I'm here, which she isn't. Thus the adventure. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted February 12, 2008 Share Posted February 12, 2008 IP from a PeePee This made me LOL for real. Yes, adventure.. Link to post Share on other sites
GreenEyedLady Posted February 12, 2008 Share Posted February 12, 2008 Congratulations on the new home! Link to post Share on other sites
dropdeadlegs Posted February 12, 2008 Share Posted February 12, 2008 Wow! That's a big bold move. You don't play around, do you? I'm going to have to read up on the background here. You think she'll be mad, but don't seem too concerned about that. That's interesting to me. Congrats on the new place! Link to post Share on other sites
Author LakesideDream Posted February 12, 2008 Author Share Posted February 12, 2008 Wow! That's a big bold move. You don't play around, do you? I'm going to have to read up on the background here. You think she'll be mad, but don't seem too concerned about that. That's interesting to me. Congrats on the new place! I'm sure she will at least "act" mad for awhile. She may actually be mad as heck, I'll find out soon enough. I know her well enough to know that she enjoys and is excited by assertivness. I haven't been in the position to "be assertive" for quite awhile. I'm sure that if she was given the choice she wouldn't want me to move here. It will absolutely disrupt her, as she calls it "dull and boring" life. She's into the status quo pretty heavily. Enevitability is on my side. As I have written before I'm counting on her heart, (and other parts) not on her reliance on the status quo. Link to post Share on other sites
OldEurope Posted February 12, 2008 Share Posted February 12, 2008 (edited) Lakeside, I am very happy you found a beautiful new home.... ...I am less happy for the reasons you have decided to do this... Games on top of games on top of games.... I would tell her immediately that you have decided to move out there, and that the move is not intended at all to bear any pressure on her, but that it was, in part, motivated by your love for her. By keeping this all undercover, the later surprise could result in anger as she might react badly not only to the "lying" but to the sudden feeling of emotional claustrophobia. She might feel that she is being "forced" into a decision. If you hide this, she will know you were hiding it because you know that on some level it is somewhat of a pressure on her. She will call your "bluff" then. If you are upfront, it sounds more natural, as if you have nothing to hide. I do not have the best feeling about the approach here, and I just *sigh* think that honesty is always the best policy in relationships. xo OE Edited February 12, 2008 by OldEurope Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted February 12, 2008 Share Posted February 12, 2008 Congratulations on your new house, LSD! Wishing you all the best and... do keep us posted! Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted February 12, 2008 Share Posted February 12, 2008 I hope you will be happy with your new home regardless of how it may turn out with MW. Link to post Share on other sites
marlena Posted February 12, 2008 Share Posted February 12, 2008 I doubt she would know an IP from a PeePee... I could barely manage to search like that. Neither would I! I don't mean to put a damper on your joy, but like OE, I have always thought that this is something that should have been discussed openly with her beforehand. But never mind. It's done. And I must admit, in many ways it is very,very romantic. You are excited and happy, that much is clear and I sincerely hope that things work out the way you want them to. I am keeping my fingers crossed for you. Marlena Link to post Share on other sites
noforgiveness Posted February 12, 2008 Share Posted February 12, 2008 Amazing. Just shaking my head here. Unbelievable. Everybody is congratulating a man who just uprooted his life. MOVED to the same town as a married woman and plans on wooing her away from her husband. Funny do you really think if you do win her over she will want to live in the same town as her husband? This is just sickening. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LakesideDream Posted February 12, 2008 Author Share Posted February 12, 2008 Noforgiveness, I've examined your position for almost seven years now and it certainly has merit. I would say that I agree with you in some ways, it's going to be a mess. As to the "same town" stuff, who knows? She has a great job and if she acts like every woman I've known in my life, she's going to be very reluctant to leave it. Old Europe, of course there is the intent to put "some pressure" on her. It would be ridictulous to claim otherwise. This PA turned EA has gone on for to long. As long as I live seven hundred miles away there never going to be a conclusion one way or the other. Telling her now, before I am settled in would only cause a huge fight over making the move. That's unnecessary. I was tired of where I am currently anyway, it's time for a change. I'm hoping that she see's the situation as I do down the road. Circumstances and distance have allowed her to dictate the terms for six plus years now the terms will become more balanced. Anywho all, thank you for your kindness. The real work is ahead, packing, throwing away stuff... then the reverse. Link to post Share on other sites
a4a Posted February 12, 2008 Share Posted February 12, 2008 Perhaps the 700 miles made the relationship good for her. Safe and fun at a distance. I think you are in for the roller coaster ride of your life. Link to post Share on other sites
marlena Posted February 12, 2008 Share Posted February 12, 2008 Perhaps the 700 miles made the relationship good for her. Interesting point, must say! Link to post Share on other sites
Rlehouse Posted February 12, 2008 Share Posted February 12, 2008 I think this sounds like a Nicholas Sparks novel:) I'm thinking very Notebook-ish:) I love it... Very bold, very romantic, and I like it...I hope it all goes in your favor...Sounds like a very interesting saga unfolding for you as the time goes on:) Keep us posted!!!!! R Link to post Share on other sites
Author LakesideDream Posted February 12, 2008 Author Share Posted February 12, 2008 I'm packing the car and getting ready to start the trip "home". Thirteen hours or so. No more weak WiFi, I'll be back on my own network! See Ya. Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaXOXO Posted February 12, 2008 Share Posted February 12, 2008 (2) "Simple Obsession Stalkers" represent about 70-80% of all stalking cases. These stalkers are differentiated from Love Obsession Stalkers in that they have had a personal or romantic relationship with their victims before the stalking behavior began. In most instances, the victim has become the stalker's sole source of self-esteem. When the victim tries to break off the relationship, the perpetrator's thinking evolves from "If I can just prove how much I love you" to "I can make you love me," to "If I can't have you, nobody else will." http://www.n-fa.com/SpecialInterests/Articles/16.asp Link to post Share on other sites
StillSame Posted February 12, 2008 Share Posted February 12, 2008 LakesideDream, during all these years of this emotional affair, did you and her ever meet in person? How unhappy do you think she is in her current marraige? What about her kids....how old are they? When was the last time you saw her? How long did you guys dated back then? You're putting so much on the line...what if she just saw you as a "fantasy" thing where she can get some attention and free flowers once a while and don't want ANY real relationship with you at all....but just a fantasy. Isn't that possible? Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted February 12, 2008 Share Posted February 12, 2008 I'm with a4a on this. I think that the LAST thing that a MP is going to want is for the OP to upset the 'status quo'. She had things like she wanted them. You're now upsetting the apple cart. I predict that you'll be summarily kicked to the curb. I'm also curious...has her H ever had any kind of reason whatsoever to suspect anything between you and her? If so, if he gets any kind of whiff of the idea that you're now in the area...there'll be heck to pay all the way around. I think you've set yourself up for a LOT of stress and heartbreak...esp when you find yourself stuck in that area, and unable to do anything to alleviate the stressful situation you're in. Link to post Share on other sites
Meaplus3 Posted February 12, 2008 Share Posted February 12, 2008 Well I done gone and done it. I bought a near new Home today. Two Big Bedrooms and lots of space everywhere. I'm fully comitted now to the quest to win my MW. I'm going back to the old homestead tomorrow morning to begin packing and taking apart my old life to start anew. Stomach is roiling while I type this. My MW's valentine flowers were delivered this afternoon and she emailed me her joy. It felt weird knowing she was emailing from a couple of miles away instead of the usual 700. It was also weird to know that I would be right back here in a couple of months, and that a couple of months after that I would be "spilling the beans" to her that I live 7 miles away instead of 700 (I could have bought a nice house three blocks away, but didn't consider it). Boy is she gonna be pissed for awhile. The saga continues. Hi Lake, Congrat's to you on your new home. I guess MW is in for a suprise eventually here! I hope everything work's out well for you. I admire your passion and courage. Good Luck. AP:) Link to post Share on other sites
SimpleyMe Posted February 12, 2008 Share Posted February 12, 2008 And just how is this romantic?? I wonder if the role was reversed and it was the OW moving to be closer to MM would this still be a good idea and best wishes hope everything goes great for you sort of thing? It scares me to think what you would do if she reacts negative and decides to end the A. Link to post Share on other sites
Kasan Posted February 12, 2008 Share Posted February 12, 2008 And just how is this romantic?? I wonder if the role was reversed and it was the OW moving to be closer to MM would this still be a good idea and best wishes hope everything goes great for you sort of thing? I think that some of us on LS have learned from all the postings and situations that life isn't always black and white but comes in shades of grey. I don't always agree with some of the choices that posters make, but I can wish them well, because I know that as people they are doing the best that they can do, sometimes under extremely difficult circumstances. Link to post Share on other sites
OWoman Posted February 12, 2008 Share Posted February 12, 2008 Funny do you really think if you do win her over she will want to live in the same town as her husband? One of the discussions my MM and I have had has been around this. Given that the kids are saying they want to live with us, first prize we thought would be not to disrupt them too much and to find a place close to MM's house (where is W will stay on) so that their schooling is not disrupted and they can see their mother as much as they want. The kids themselves have been less keen on this - they've wanted to put some distance between them and their mother so that she isn't at large in the same neighbourhood, wreaking havoc unexpectedly. They'd like their visits to her contained, scheduled, and supervised if necessary. And the counsellor also suggested to MM that us setting up happy home on her (previously their) doorstep might be inflammatory given her reluctance to acknowledge the end of the M. So, NF, it might not be LSD's MW who's reluctant to live on her xH's doorstep, it may be her xH who feels unhappy about seeing his xW and her new beau flaunting their happiness everywhere he turns, and HE may well be the one to leave. (Assuming, in that scenario, that the MW leaves her M and takes up with LSD - which, at this stage, is an unknown.) Link to post Share on other sites
GreenEyedLady Posted February 12, 2008 Share Posted February 12, 2008 One of the discussions my MM and I have had has been around this. Given that the kids are saying they want to live with us, first prize we thought would be not to disrupt them too much and to find a place close to MM's house (where is W will stay on) so that their schooling is not disrupted and they can see their mother as much as they want. This is the same reason that we are living pretty close to the ex...Close so that visitation is easy and yet far enough away so that no one is right under each other's nose... Link to post Share on other sites
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