Bought a new Home today The Adventure Begins!

[OWoman]

I'm sure that could happen. I'm also sure that's one of the reasons I like this place so much. When I decided to open a business, it also occured to me that there might be side benifits.

 

Nothing will complicate my life until I choose to let it happen. But thanks for the thought/advice.

 

LsD, whether it's with your MW or with some other fortunate woman, you'll certainly find someone to share your home and heart with. I just hope she's worthy of you, whoever she turns out to be.

[White Flower]

I hear you and I promise you I'm not laughing, and I'm not one of the ones throwing around the word evil.... You sound thoughful, and I'm not so holy that I'm in any position to judge, although it seems I need to remind myself of that on occasion.

 

It sounds like you have been honest with yourself, and I respect that above almost anything else.

Well thank you Trimmer. I have been my own worst critic and I am certainly honest with myself. To be able to recognize that, you must be the same way. We can agree to disagree and still respect each other.

 

Cheers.

[Terminator]

I guess you missed the smiley face appended at the end of it. No backpeddling...Sorry you're just too dense to understand when someone isn't being serious!

 

There was no smiley on your post to OB, and fwiw on your other responses, the rolling eyes 'smiley' denotes sarcasm.

[lovinmylife]

first i would like to apologize for not introducing myself before as i have been reading posts on here for a couple of years now.

 

secondly, i'm beginning to wonder... when lakeside started this post it seemed like you were moving to get your MW. now the feel of the story has changed to feel like you moved because you wanted to move, MW or no MW. if MW were not in the picture, would you have moved to this particular scene? or are you just saying that you like the area just to make you feel better about the move, knowing that there is a chance of rejection.

 

ps. not trying to start any problems, just trying to understand the story.

[LakesideDream]

first i would like to apologize for not introducing myself before as i have been reading posts on here for a couple of years now.

 

secondly, i'm beginning to wonder... when lakeside started this post it seemed like you were moving to get your MW. now the feel of the story has changed to feel like you moved because you wanted to move, MW or no MW. if MW were not in the picture, would you have moved to this particular scene? or are you just saying that you like the area just to make you feel better about the move, knowing that there is a chance of rejection.

 

ps. not trying to start any problems, just trying to understand the story.

 

 

No so. I moved to be near my girlfriend, who is a MW. I moved in hopes that she would choose a life with me over the life she claims to be living unhappily now.

 

After I moved.. I fell in love with the new location. It's as different from where I have lived previously as night is to day. I didn't know this would happen ... it just did, after the fact. If your question was "Knowing what you now know, would you make the move without the MW in the picture"? The answer would be absolutely. But that is hindsight, which is always perfect.

[whichwayisup]

I moved in hopes that she would choose a life with me over the life she claims to be living unhappily now

 

Lakey, so you don't know 100% for sure if what she is telling you is true? People can exaggerate their issues in the marriage and bend it so it suits them - Kind of like a pity party asking for sympathy, yet at the end of the day, things aren't really as bad as they've made it out to be.. If you know what I mean..

[LakesideDream]

Lakey, so you don't know 100% for sure if what she is telling you is true? People can exaggerate their issues in the marriage and bend it so it suits them - Kind of like a pity party asking for sympathy, yet at the end of the day, things aren't really as bad as they've made it out to be.. If you know what I mean..

 

 

If there is anything I have learned in 58 years, it's that if another person is involved, none of us know anything 100% for sure. I am comfortable with what she has told me of her relationship. Over the years she has seldom complained of the conditions in her marriage. She has related enough details to make the situation clear to me. This gal is tough as nails.. an "in charge" person. It's not in her personality to complain about the day to day problems in life.

[pelicanpreacher]

Let's see if you can follow the bread crumbs...

 

Tell you what Terminator. When I'm standing in line for the "Pearly Gates" you hold onto your beliefs while standing in the "other" line!

 

This post was tongue in cheek unless you actually believe there's a bunch of people standing in line waiting at some mythical gate to see if St. Peter will let them in!

 

And once again you presume too much. You have no idea what my beliefs are do you, yet you assume you will be in the line for the gates and I will not?

 

What arrogance you display, hardly befitting a man of god.

 

Is this a presumption about my vocation? Have you actually ever heard of a Pelican Preacher? I'm but a poor sinner so please edify me on that denomination for if I'm a Preacher my flock is for the birds!

 

My post was tongue in cheek. Do you routinely lack a sense of humor?

 

This was sarcasm! (fwiw)

 

I failed to see the humor in your post either...........good try at backpedalling though

 

I guess you missed the smiley face appended at the end of it. No backpeddling...Sorry you're just too dense to understand when someone isn't being serious!

 

Again, refer to the 1st post!

 

There was no smiley on your post to OB, and fwiw on your other responses, the rolling eyes 'smiley' denotes sarcasm.

 

DUH! My post to OB was in response to what I considered a malicious attack on her part directed at me personally and so yes, I was dead serious in my admonition! She knows it...I know it...I dealt with it...Let it go!

 

Now please, grow a brain cell and get a clue for I'm all out of bread crumbs now!

 

Thank you,

[SofiaLo]

Lakesidedream,

 

Earlier today on another thread I responded so harshly to you. I thought you were a married woman given a really hard time to someone hurting and had a bad case of mean spirited rage. In defending myself I was way mean to you. Sorry!

 

I apologize.

[Kindle]

I'm still following this thread with baited breath

 

Lakeside - If i could find half the man you are i would be a very happy woman !. That's not meant to be flirtatous, that comes from a geniune understanding and total respect of not only your situation, but the way you are handling it.

 

I just hope this woman realises how lucky she is...

 

Flame away ! lol

[LakesideDream]

I'm still following this thread with baited breath

 

Lakeside - If i could find half the man you are i would be a very happy woman !. That's not meant to be flirtatous, that comes from a geniune understanding and total respect of not only your situation, but the way you are handling it.

 

I just hope this woman realises how lucky she is...

 

Flame away ! lol

 

Thanks to you both.. (last two posters). I haven't handled everything in my life well. Many of the mistakes I have made have been from "pushing the situation" meaning being impatient, when patience was needed or indicated. I'm trying to get it right!

[White Flower]

Thanks to you both.. (last two posters). I haven't handled everything in my life well. Many of the mistakes I have made have been from "pushing the situation" meaning being impatient, when patience was needed or indicated. I'm trying to get it right!

A smart man learns from his mistakes. You are no longer in 'analysis paralysis' (borrowing Owl's fun catch phrase), but in Just Do It mode. Good for you.

[carhill]

I've been attending LsD's school of patience for awhile now. Nice curriculum. Too bad the student is incurably impetuous

[SofiaLo]

Come on, Lakesidedream,

 

Don't stop now, it is the end of the day and you haven't post.

 

what good thing did you do today?

[Angel1111]

Lakeside, will you marry me???

 

Ok, I've spent the last couple of hours off and on reading this post from beginning to end (reading only your posts). I agree that this woman is extremely lucky and I totally admire you for this adventuous move. I'm so glad to hear that you're loving it!

 

Well, I'm kinda glad you haven't contacted her yet, or run into her by accident, because I would've hated to miss this adventure. But now that I'm here, you can carry on and call her up. hee! hee!

 

I have a suggestion - how about calling her and telling her that you'll be passing through town next week and set up a time and place to meet her. Then after you've kissed and greeted and caught up on things, tell her something like this, "Uh, I have to tell you something that I think you might kill me over. But here it goes...." Or meet her somewhere near your business and tell her you want to show her something...

 

I couldn't find the photos of your house - maybe they're not there anymore? After everything I've read, the only concern I have is that if you're in a small town and maybe end up having an affair, that'll be hard to pull off, since everybody probably knows everybody. Anyway, I totally understand where you're at in life. I'm not yet 50 but I can already see how I look at the rules differently as I get older for some reason. I'm not sure what that's about. I think it has something to do with a total change in perspective, that all the rules that have been set up mean nothing, or very little. It's freeing in one sense and frustrating in another. I keep wondering what I will do once my son goes off to college. This need for extreme change is so pervasive. I can so totally understand what you've done.

 

I hope you see your sweetie soon and I hope she realizes how special you really are. Best wishes.

[NewSunrise]

Been awhile since I crawled in LS. Up to speed with your new life.

 

LSD-There are no coincidences in life....

 

While your choice to move was to be closer to your MW and the hope of her choosing you over her H, something else is going on. True, the practical thing that you could have done for yourself was to let her in on your motives for moving. To any woman, that would have been a huge demonstration of your committment to her. The problem you might face now is how will she perceive your move without her knowledge. If I were her, my first initial thought would not be positive. It would be something along the line of a "stalker". Sorry for such a harsh word. I would ask you the "if you truly loved me, why didn't you just tell me..."

 

I'm guessing your reason for not telling her was your fear of rejection. I think you knew in your heart that her answer would have been to "not move". So to lessen the blow, so to speak, your action to move would speak for itself increasing the likelihood of her approval and a strong message to entice her to leave her M for you.

 

But based on one of your replies that she really didn't complain much about her marriage tells me she's content. And the fact that she hasn't suggested any possibilities of her wanting to leave her M for you shows she is content. I'm guessing she's more content in having two men in her life.

 

So where does this leave you? You needed to make that move whether or not the reason was for her. The "patience" you've gained is a reward in itself. Most people never give themselves the opportunity to learn it no matter what age. But you have.

 

You fell in love with a woman who is not available and will probably never be available. At least, not in the way you've hoped and dreamed of. Yet, surprisngly you find yourself "falling in love" with this town. Not something you expected. You're doing well. Things are falling into place...except....you know who and what.

 

Sometimes, getting what we deserve requires us to go through hurdles. Sometimes the decision to act is misguided. Nevertheless, it's no coincidence. Perhaps, by being there will provide some closure? The question is how much more is required of you to win her over? At what point do you decide when you tell yourself you've done all you can do, it's time for you to allow someone else in your life rather than hanging your life on a dream?

 

Like I said, there are no coincidences in life. You're supposed to be there. In the meantime, remember to live your life for you, not for someone else.

[The_411]

I'm at a loss with this thread.

 

For someone who is a quarter century older than I am, I would undoubtedly be ashamed to act in such a capacity at his age.

 

The reality of the world is what you choose to make it. In this case you are choosing to live an unhappy life.

 

You are lonely and unhappy because you choose to be.

 

How can you claim to love someone what you can't even love yourself.

 

Life teaches us things and they are certainly not all pleasant. It's clear to me that LSD just doesn't get it and will continue to be unhappy.

 

As for those you "cheering him" on I really have to wonder if you truly understand love because I see nothing of the sort here. Society has pushed us to be driven and goal oriented at the expense of others.

 

The only thing I see is selfish agendas and nothing more.

[OWoman]

I'm at a loss with this thread.

 

For someone who is a quarter century older than I am, I would undoubtedly be ashamed to act in such a capacity at his age.

 

The reality of the world is what you choose to make it. In this case you are choosing to live an unhappy life.

 

You are lonely and unhappy because you choose to be.

 

How can you claim to love someone what you can't even love yourself.

 

Life teaches us things and they are certainly not all pleasant. It's clear to me that LSD just doesn't get it and will continue to be unhappy.

 

As for those you "cheering him" on I really have to wonder if you truly understand love because I see nothing of the sort here. Society has pushed us to be driven and goal oriented at the expense of others.

 

The only thing I see is selfish agendas and nothing more.

 

411, you clearly are at a loss and unable to see beyond what your blinkers (or blinders, if you're American) allow you to see. I do hope that life will teach you some of the lessons that have allowed others to see beyond their limitations, in time, and that your own unhappiness won't keep you chained to your bitterness forever.

 

As for LsD, he's a shining example of someone who was able to rise above his own bitterness and rediscover love and joy and fun in life, and we're all rooting for him. I'm sorry that your own bitterness stops you from joining us in wishing him well.

 

Maybe one day you too will find love and happiness. Here's hoping.

[greengoddess]

411, you clearly are at a loss and unable to see beyond what your blinkers (or blinders, if you're American) allow you to see. I do hope that life will teach you some of the lessons that have allowed others to see beyond their limitations, in time, and that your own unhappiness won't keep you chained to your bitterness forever.

 

As for LsD, he's a shining example of someone who was able to rise above his own bitterness and rediscover love and joy and fun in life, and we're all rooting for him. I'm sorry that your own bitterness stops you from joining us in wishing him well.

 

Maybe one day you too will find love and happiness. Here's hoping.

I don't see it that way. I see it as someone who was royally screwed over by his wife and because of that does not give a crap about others feelings except his own. He went through it and lived so who cares about this woman's husband. He will survive it. Typical me me me attitude and who cares who you **** on to get what you want.

 

Wishing him well as you say is wishing extreme heartbreak for her husband and extended family but hey who cares about them as long as he's happy. Right?? Who you crap on to reach your goals will come back to haunt you. Enjoy what you create.

[LakesideDream]

I don't see it that way. I see it as someone who was royally screwed over by his wife and because of that does not give a crap about others feelings except his own. He went through it and lived so who cares about this woman's husband. He will survive it. Typical me me me attitude and who cares who you **** on to get what you want.

 

Wishing him well as you say is wishing extreme heartbreak for her husband and extended family but hey who cares about them as long as he's happy. Right?? Who you crap on to reach your goals will come back to haunt you. Enjoy what you create.

 

 

For a "goddess" your powers of perception and empathy certainly seem lacking.

 

I do "give a crap" about others feelings. One of my main malfunctions over the past 30 or so years is that I have always valued other peoples "feelings" more than my own.

 

I've spent quite a few years contemplating this situation, and the conclusion I eventually came to was that it was time for change.

 

If my actions and desires come back to "haunt me"... it will be the first time I've ever seen it happen! Good things and progress happen to those who are pro-active. As much as I would like to believe in things like "karma" and the possibility that people would be "haunted" by their actions in life.. I know it's not so.

 

It's sad for you that you are so angry, it truely is. It might be better for you if you stopped waiting for the balance of the universe to tip your way and started adding some rocks to your side.

 

Oh and BTW, at our age, there isn't much "extended family" left.

[greengoddess]

For a "goddess" your powers of perception and empathy certainly seem lacking.

 

I do "give a crap" about others feelings. One of my main malfunctions over the past 30 or so years is that I have always valued other peoples "feelings" more than my own.

 

I've spent quite a few years contemplating this situation, and the conclusion I eventually came to was that it was time for change.

 

If my actions and desires come back to "haunt me"... it will be the first time I've ever seen it happen! Good things and progress happen to those who are pro-active. As much as I would like to believe in things like "karma" and the possibility that people would be "haunted" by their actions in life.. I know it's not so.

 

It's sad for you that you are so angry, it truely is. It might be better for you if you stopped waiting for the balance of the universe to tip your way and started adding some rocks to your side.

 

Oh and BTW, at our age, there isn't much "extended family" left.

 

 

ahhh see exactly. You just said it. You stopped caring about hurting others and care about me me me. Oh and I am not at all angry. Just making an observation and one that is true is it not? You put your feelings ahead of what her wishes or her husband may be. Although maybe not because you are too chicken to tell her. lol. I keep waiting for the she knows post to see the fallout good bad and ugly.

[LakesideDream]

ahhh see exactly. You just said it. You stopped caring about hurting others and care about me me me. Oh and I am not at all angry. Just making an observation and one that is true is it not? You put your feelings ahead of what her wishes or her husband may be. Although maybe not because you are too chicken to tell her. lol. I keep waiting for the she knows post to see the fallout good bad and ugly.

 

 

I usually don't argue on threads.. but this time.

 

I can honestly say that I haven't given a single though to the long term ramifications of this for months. I agonized over it for years, that was the cleanser. It's really up to the lady isn't it. Once my move is known to her she will decide what to do. My only ethical role is to remain passive. If it's in her heart for use to be together, now, six months from now, two years from now it will happen. If she decides to retain the status quo nothing whatsoever will happen.

 

When I decided to do this move in January, I didn't believe for a minute that more than a couple of weeks would pass before we "ran into each other"... after all she had always said that the town was "so small" and that she knew everybody. Six months later that obviously wasn't the true situation. I have been all over this town, to every state and county office, to stores, to furniture stores, many of the eating places, grocery stores, etc.

 

I'm sure that part of the new found comfort and peace that I feel here is because it is now apparent that we could both live here comfortably, living completely seperate lives. It isn't the fishbowl I believed it was just eight months ago.

 

Soon, the ball will rest in her court. While I hope that a new kind of relationship between us evolves. I am much more comfortable now, knowing that if that's not the case... I'll still have a great chance of happiness here.

[Owl]

So if she decides to resume the affair with you...that all rests on HER shoulders, and you share no culpability in it?

 

She'd be the one entirely to blame?

 

And this completely absolves you of any feelings for guilt when you consider the impacts to her H?

[LakesideDream]

So if she decides to resume the affair with you...that all rests on HER shoulders, and you share no culpability in it?

 

She'd be the one entirely to blame?

 

And this completely absolves you of any feelings for guilt when you consider the impacts to her H?

 

 

Owl, I didn't say that. Additionally I am a little bit to astute to allow you to put words into my mouth. If you really feel the need to comment, please quote me accurately.

 

Until something happens, I won't know what "guilt" I'm going to feel. The current "status quo" has lasted for many years I've stopped feeling guilty about the relationship. We will see what the "impacts" are if they occur.

[Owl]

I clearly wasn't quoting you...I was asking questions to understand your exact point of view. When I read your response, I wrote back what I got out of your response.

 

I CAN'T "speak for you".

 

I DO struggle to understand you.

 

On one hand, you'll clearly point out to others when they're involved in an affair the harsh reality of what they're considering/doing/etc...

 

But then you'll turn around and defend your OWN affair and pending resumption of it.

 

It doesn't add up.

 

I wonder how much compartmentalization is going on in your mind over all of this. On one side, you've been through it as a BS. You KNOW how much it hurts, how wrong it was, how little you deserved the devestation you went through. On the other...you plan on seeing the exact same thing done to someone else.