Bought a new Home today The Adventure Begins!

[xxxheartbrokenxxx]

Well I finally got the chance to read this thread in full plus the background info and my word this story is absolutely fascinating! Like something straight out of a romantic novel

 

Lakeside I think its fantastic you are following your dream & truely hope it all works out the way you hope...

 

But like you said in a previous post - if you do end up with MW it will be the icing on the cake, if it doesn't go your way you will still be in a lovely home in a nice area, financially solvent etc, and hey - at least you tried. If you hadnt you would probably always be wondering "what if?" and thats an awful feeling - regretting things you haven't done rather than things you have.

 

Saw the pictures on photobucket - bachelor pad looking very nice, put more up when its all decorated wont you?

 

So have you any idea when you may tell her you have moved to the area? Or do you think you may decide to leave it to fate & see if the two of you bump into each other? I think the best thing would be tell her as soon as you feel comfortable doing so as the longer you leave it the more awkward it will become.

 

Keep us posted on the latest - I shall be checking this thread for updates!

 

Best of luck with everything, you deserve it

[Angel1111]

I think a lot of you are missing the point. If his MW wants to be just friends with him, he will be fine with that. He can't steal anyone away who can't be stolen away. And I doubt she'd leave her husband high and dry at this stage of their lives. I think he's pretty much open to anything - he just wants to be around someone he feels connected to and wants to live in a place that he has always wanted to be in.

 

Correct me if I'm wrong, LakeSide.

[greengoddess]

So what happens if the first time you see her in her environment she is with her husband?

 

How do you expect her to react? Her husband? You?

 

Ohhh to be a fly on that wall.

 

This poor woman is really about to be blindsided by her harmless internet flirtation. She probably has a wonderful life with her husband and has exaggerated to you for the ego boost and thrill of it and now her marriage will come crashing down around her as she sets eyes on you. SCARY. You even said she doesn't initiate the contact with you.

 

TELL HER. THIS IS NOT FAIR TO HER.

[Angel1111]

This poor woman is really about to be blindsided by her harmless internet flirtation. She probably has a wonderful life with her husband and has exaggerated to you for the ego boost and thrill of it and now her marriage will come crashing down around her as she sets eyes on you. SCARY. You even said she doesn't initiate the contact with you.

 

What are you talking about? They've known each other practically all their lives.

[greengoddess]

what are you talking about? They've known each other practically all their lives.

 

Long distance.

[whichwayisup]

They've known each other practically all their lives

 

Being IN eachother's daily lives or just 'knowing' eachother for practically all their lives?

There's a huge difference between the two.

[greengoddess]

This is the beginning of this.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t142827/

 

It's actually fascinating and equally disturbing that he is doing what his wife did. HE got in touch with his old hs girlfriend and had a six month real affair and then she CHOSE her husband.

 

They continued contact and he presented small gifts etc.

 

He just said he initiates contact. I almost wonder if she is afraid to tell him to stop contacting her for fear of rocking the boat and him contacting her husband.

 

Some of you people are so full of stars in your eyes for the OM to WIN that you don't care what the story is.

 

This isn't some great romance. He got even with his wife by getting his old hs sweetheart, she dumped him for her husband after a small fling and now he's gone wayyyy pver the top without telling her. He even said in the very first post of this adventure how pissed she is going to be.

 

This is truly scary to me.

 

PLEASE TELL HER NOW. PLEASE.

[Angel1111]

Being IN eachother's daily lives or just 'knowing' eachother for practically all their lives?

There's a huge difference between the two.

 

Well, I'm sure he has a much better handle on the relationship than I would ever care to guess. I'm trusting that he knows what he's doing since it is, after all, his life.

[whichwayisup]

I almost wonder if she is afraid to tell him to stop contacting her for fear of rocking the boat and him contacting her husband.

 

I don't know Lakey obviously, only what I've read on here and how he represents himself, but I think (as well as many others), no I'm sure he would NOT go and tell this womans husband, confront him/fight him for his wife.

[LakesideDream]

I think a lot of you are missing the point. If his MW wants to be just friends with him, he will be fine with that. He can't steal anyone away who can't be stolen away. And I doubt she'd leave her husband high and dry at this stage of their lives. I think he's pretty much open to anything - he just wants to be around someone he feels connected to and wants to live in a place that he has always wanted to be in.

 

Correct me if I'm wrong, LakeSide.

 

 

Of course it would be all right. I'm not here to "steal" someone. I'm here because I want to be. Much would have been different in that first year had I been truely free. I have mentioned it before but it is worth repeating.

 

My then (barely) adult son was involved with drugs, living in the state we had left still married. 3 months after the divorce, I got the "come get me dad, I need help" call... I got him, and kept him, sobered him up, gave him a roof, etc. This made me "unavailable" for a year and a half. I believe my "friend" needed a rescue at that time, I couldn't provide. While I made the decision to help my son, it is a decision that has led to five years plus of "what if's"....

 

She has never asked me not to contact her, and has never hesitated to contact me.

 

She isn't afraid of me. I know that she will never be afraid of me. Whether or not we will ever be together, we will always love each other. Situations are different from emotions.

 

Oh well... where there is life, there is hope. While I cannot predict the future, I do know the past. The prospect of happiness is superior to the emptiness of the past.

 

If her love is as strong as she has ALWAYS professed, I've got a real shot here folks. The decision will be completely hers though.

[Trimmer]

Just for the record (and quoted without comment) as to whether this is little more than an internet dalliance, etc:

...Yes, there was a VERY torrid LD PA. The need to take my adult, drug problem son back into my home made continuing a PA impossible six years ago. I have know her since I was 17 years old, that's 40 years next month....

 

 

 

Telling her now, before I am settled in would only cause a huge fight over making the move. That's unnecessary.

My point is that if you know her well enough to know that she would have been pissed to know you were planning the move, how is it going to be any better for her to perceive that you ignored/blocked/disallowed her from having any input at all? Yeah, she would have been pissed to be involved in the decision, but she'll be fine with your having done it without consulting her? Women dig that kind of stuff.

 

I would say that I agree with you in some ways, it's going to be a mess.

Ya think?

 

...of course there is the intent to put "some pressure" on her. It would be ridictulous to claim otherwise....

Indeed, it would be.

 

Well, I think my opinions are pretty much tapped out, and we're just tromping over the same old discussion cycles at this point... We're all just filling time in a holding pattern until the next stage, and you know what that is.

 

I really don't wish this to turn out as a train wreck - I really hope everything works out happy and healthy for everyone involved, although it's a little hard to see how everyone involved is going to get from here to there... And you have to admit that one of the appeals of this "romantic" situation stems from the very risk of the drama boiling over. Risking it all - the jump wouldn't be as dramatic if the fall weren't so far down.

 

The book's a little slow. I'll see the movie version when it comes out, but the release date keeps getting pushed back.

 

What are you waiting for? Other than it continuing to get more awkward to contemplate the prospect of explaining to her just how long you've been living in her town since sending her those flowers, why wait?

[LakesideDream]

Just for the record (and quoted without comment) as to whether this is little more than an internet dalliance, etc:

 

 

 

 

 

My point is that if you know her well enough to know that she would have been pissed to know you were planning the move, how is it going to be any better for her to perceive that you ignored/blocked/disallowed her from having any input at all? Yeah, she would have been pissed to be involved in the decision, but she'll be fine with your having done it without consulting her? Women dig that kind of stuff.

 

 

Ya think?

 

 

Indeed, it would be.

 

Well, I think my opinions are pretty much tapped out, and we're just tromping over the same old discussion cycles at this point... We're all just filling time in a holding pattern until the next stage, and you know what that is.

 

I really don't wish this to turn out as a train wreck - I really hope everything works out happy and healthy for everyone involved, although it's a little hard to see how everyone involved is going to get from here to there... And you have to admit that one of the appeals of this "romantic" situation stems from the very risk of the drama boiling over. Risking it all - the jump wouldn't be as dramatic if the fall weren't so far down.

 

The book's a little slow. I'll see the movie version when it comes out, but the release date keeps getting pushed back.

 

What are you waiting for? Other than it continuing to get more awkward to contemplate the prospect of explaining to her just how long you've been living in her town since sending her those flowers, why wait?

 

 

Trimmer, I'm gonna do what I'm gonna do.. you are welcome to your comments and opinions. After all.. isn't that what internet sites like this one are for? Thanks for your effort,

[Trimmer]

Trimmer, I'm gonna do what I'm gonna do.. you are welcome to your comments and opinions. After all.. isn't that what internet sites like this one are for? Thanks for your effort,

Of course you are, and that's just fine. I was just wondering.

 

Actually, I think you've gone through a notable developemental process, since the time where your inital purpose was to journey out, tilting at windmills, and was dedicated ("committed," I think was your word) to the quest of winning your fair princess.

 

I was much more worried for you then, with your apparent tunnel-vision, compared with now, where you seem to have settled into a real life in a real community, for yourself. Maybe your waiting is partly because you have wisely come to realize that you need to ensure that your life here is built for yourself as an individual, before you can move on to any next stage.

 

No matter what else happens (or what I think of what happens ) I think that's probably a good thing.

[whichwayisup]

It's just sad that people are going to get hurt, especially this woman's husband if she chooses Lake. It would be different ofcourse if she was ON the verge of divorcing reguardless of Lake around or not, but that isn't the case.

[NewSunrise]

It's just sad that people are going to get hurt, especially this woman's husband if she chooses Lake. It would be different ofcourse if she was ON the verge of divorcing reguardless of Lake around or not, but that isn't the case.

Yep, completely agree. That's just it, she was never on the verge of wanting to leave her H for him.

 

I'm not making judgements but, Lordy, there is just soooo much "wrong" with this whole scenario...fulfilling one's happiness at the expense of someone else's misery (the unknowing husband), and yours. What's even more sad is that LSD experienced the meaning of betrayal with his XW. And then to do the same on to someone else's W? Having experienced betrayal myself, that's the last thing I would want to do to someone else. But that's just me...

 

LSD--If you were her husband, what would you do if suddenly you found out your W's OM moved into the neighborhood?

 

And if you were married and carrying on an A, what would you do if your OW moved into your town, did everything as you did and suddenly shows up or rings you to tell you she's here and ready for you?

 

Just wondering if your decisions would have mattered at all....

[Kindle]

Yep, completely agree. That's just it, she was never on the verge of wanting to leave her H for him.

 

I'm not making judgements but, Lordy, there is just soooo much "wrong" with this whole scenario...fulfilling one's happiness at the expense of someone else's misery (the unknowing husband), and yours. What's even more sad is that LSD experienced the meaning of betrayal with his XW. And then to do the same on to someone else's W? Having experienced betrayal myself, that's the last thing I would want to do to someone else. But that's just me...

 

LSD--If you were her husband, what would you do if suddenly you found out your W's OM moved into the neighborhood?

 

And if you were married and carrying on an A, what would you do if your OW moved into your town, did everything as you did and suddenly shows up or rings you to tell you she's here and ready for you?

 

Just wondering if your decisions would have mattered at all....

 

How do you know she has never been on the verge ?

 

How do you know that the *poor husband* is unsuspecting ?

 

I dont see why or how lakey is getting the flashfire from this - it takes two to tango....

Think logically, this is the equivilent of a 40 year EA / PA - not a few months of tapping on IM - its been both internet and in RL.

 

Nobody held a gun to this woman's head and told her to involve herself in an EA / PA - if things were that good at home, her husband would fulfil EVERY need....

 

Sometimes circumstances dictate that you cant be with *the one*, so rather than sit around doing nothing, you make the best of it, dont flame someone for being in a position where they now can, and waiting for the other person to do the same.

[greengoddess]

How do you know she has never been on the verge ?

 

How do you know that the *poor husband* is unsuspecting ?

 

I dont see why or how lakey is getting the flashfire from this - it takes two to tango....

Think logically, this is the equivilent of a 40 year EA / PA - not a few months of tapping on IM - its been both internet and in RL.

 

Nobody held a gun to this woman's head and told her to involve herself in an EA / PA - if things were that good at home, her husband would fulfil EVERY need....

 

Sometimes circumstances dictate that you cant be with *the one*, so rather than sit around doing nothing, you make the best of it, dont flame someone for being in a position where they now can, and waiting for the other person to do the same.

 

No it is not. This woman was a high school sweetheart that lsd did not talk to for 25 years. He looked her up after his wife had a 23 year affair with her hs sweetheart. Then thay had a 6 month physical affair where she CHOSE her husband. Since then it has been limited internet contact with not many professions of love from lsd's own words.

 

She screwed up. Had an affair with an old high school flame. Ended the physical part and has remained friends with an occasional what if sprinkled in there.

[greengoddess]

I wanted to add like someone else just stated, any of you longg distance om/ow can you imagine just packing up and leaving and showing up already totally moved to your mm/mw's hometown and saying here I am I am ready to be with you now without your mm/mw expecting you? Without discussing it first?

 

It's very devious and I do not think she will be happy and the longer he holds off deceiving her about where he is living the angrier she will be.

[greengoddess]

If you're referring to me, the bolded part is SO not true. What I'm saying is let her know you live in her town. The longer you hold onto this little tidbit of news while keeping it a secret from her, the weirder it seems.

 

 

Exactly.

 

Honestly I think more people are cheering this story on because it is a man running off to win his woman and scoop her up in his arms. The ow's dream on here. If this was a woman poster saying how she moved to her married man's town to try to make a lfe with him without telling her married man I think most posters would be appalled.

[NewSunrise]

Exactly.

 

Honestly I think more people are cheering this story on because it is a man running off to win his woman and scoop her up in his arms. The ow's dream on here. If this was a woman poster saying how she moved to her married man's town to try to make a lfe with him without telling her married man I think most posters would be appalled.

Exactlymundo! Including your reply to Kindle.

 

Guess we will ALL have to tune in when and how, if by chance, accident or planned WHEN the big event will take place....the event when MW finally finds out.

 

Good luck LSD. Sincerely hope it all works out for you one way or the other. The community sounds like a great place to unwind.

[Can'tGiveUp]

Exactly.

 

Honestly I think more people are cheering this story on because it is a man running off to win his woman and scoop her up in his arms. The ow's dream on here. If this was a woman poster saying how she moved to her married man's town to try to make a lfe with him without telling her married man I think most posters would be appalled.

 

I think if it was an OW, then the same criticisms that are being hurled at Lsd, would be hurled at her. Although it does seem that some of the more vitriolic posters are not present...perhaps because Lsd is male and has clearly defended (or not defended as the case may be) his actions.

 

I think this is the first time I have posted to this thread. And I am one of his supporters and have been following this since the beginning. I will say that I am curious as to how this will end up.

 

I have read his posts as a BS and some of the harsher comments he has made. I have also read the "hypocrite" thread. He has been open and honest with all of us as we share this journey with him. He has clearly considered this situation and all the possible outcomes (and fallouts) that may occur. I find the fact that he has chosen to share this with us as somewhat brave.

 

Ultimately, the decision to leave her M will be his MW's. She may or may not. But he can be satisfied that he gave it his all to follow his heart. He can't make the decision for her but by moving there, he has given her the option. And in this process he has established a comfortable life in a community that he seems very happy with. If it doesn't work with her, then I am sure he will still have a better life than he would have had he stayed in a place where he was clearly unhappy.

 

Every individual has to make decisions in their life that they are comfortable with. While these decisions are not the ones everyone would make, LsD only has to answer to himself (and whatever "Higher Power" that he may believe in). He has weighed the pros and cons, he has been the betrayed, he has done everything else in his life to satisfy his obligations (ie taking care of his son, at the expense of his own happiness).

 

You are not talking about a 20 year old running after her married boss who is 20 years her senior and a serial cheater. He is a mature man who has purchased a home, established one business (or maybe that should be re-established ), is working on another and has involved himself in his new community. He sounds level headed and honest about the possible outcome.

 

LsD, I am glad everything has worked out so far.

 

Have you thought about emailing her an invite to the Grand Opening? That could give you an opening to tell her you are there, without worrying about running into her with her H??

[carhill]

Guess we will ALL have to tune in when and how, if by chance, accident or planned WHEN the big event will take place....the event when MW finally finds out.

 

I'm pretty sure most folks following the story know when the planned event will be happening, no? No accounting for unplanned meetings, but I'm pretty sure LsD has everything planned out, down to the last detail. Very meticulous, he is...

[pelicanpreacher]

Pelicanpreacher, From my front porch I can see 90 miles. There ARE a few houses in the way. I live at one end of town, she the other. I didn't plan it that way, it just happened. It actually takes 20 minutes to make the drive, it's about 7 miles as the birds fly. It's a very small city, or a very big town. The place I moved from wasn't in California either.

 

I live on a "city lot" a half an acre more or less. I could park 10 greyhound busses in my back yard, easily.

 

'Course, it's to damn hot from June to October to even think about spending substantial time outside. Heck, it's 10:30 and still 101 outdoors. That's why gawd gave me air conditioning.

 

WOW! Bud, you don't know how good you've got it yet but when you hear about the "hawk" blowing about from which you came while you're chilling at 75 degrees I can only imagine the wide azzed grin you'll have permanently masked to your face! Yep, right now I'm wishing I were you!

By the way, is that 101 degrees a dry heat?

[pelicanpreacher]

I've finally figured out how you play this LSD. You continue what you're doing and become prominent within the community. Let your prominence evoke awareness of your presence to MW. By doing it this way you have no impact on how she proceeds within her own marriage nor what emotions she grapples with as a cause of your presence. If she comes to you then let it be on terms yet undefined and not because you imposed terms of conclusion! This way you'll know what you've got when you have it.

[jj33]

What an amazing journey. I wish you all the luck in the world. I do share some of the sentiments about telling her however. But I suppose you have grappled with how she will feel when she finds out you have been there all this time and not told her and decided that what you are doing is the best course. She obviously knows you well and it appears you have decided that even if she is upset (or even irate at not being told) that she will know deep inside that this is your way and she will somehow understand. Or perhaps you know her well enough to know that this is what would be most comfortable for her.

 

I hope it works out for you.