Bought a new Home today The Adventure Begins!

[jj33]

LsD I hope it all works out for you. You obviously know her better than we do. And for all your calm I am sure you are sitting on pins and needles waiting to hear good news.

 

How weird would it have been if she had seen you, heard the story and said Oh my darling I longed for this day - in the movies maybe but in real life as you said there is no chit chat you are in regular enough contact. This is very very serious stuff.... she has loads to digest and to think about.

 

I havent read the entire 36 pages of your thread but if you have known her and been in touch all these years I would assume you wouldnt have made this move if your contact over the years had not been filled with some very sincere heartfelt we missed our chance and what ifs and a deep longing on both your parts for things to be different.

 

I am guessing that you did this to see just how serious those statements were. And now you will know...

 

Fingers crossed. You are a romatic hero for our times.

[torranceshipman]

I really hope it works out, I just dont want to hear LSD waiting and waiting and waiting for positive signs, and going through a lot of heartache because of all this uncertainty in the process.

[2sunny]

LSD-

 

even if the man of my dreams from my past met with me the way you did and i was married - my reaction would be the same as hers. mild and contemplative.

 

she will have a lot of things to process and will feel very confused about her emotions and marriage.

 

the fact that she didn't overreact by gushing expresses her maturity and ability to stay grounded enough to allow time in her mind for all consequences of your arrival to be taken into consideration.

 

she has a marriage. that is not something that a woman of honor takes lightly. after she considers all of her angles don't be surprised at what she may come up with.

 

you have put yourself in a vulnerable position where anything could come from this. you have been smart enough to establish yourself and your life/interests since your arrival that if she said no go - that you still have things around you that will keep you occupied/interested/somewhat happy.

 

i wonder how long it will take for her to respond? did you agree to meet or chat another time? how long would you expect until you hear something - whether it's good, bad or indifferent?

[blueberry]

I don't think there are any women out there who wouldn't feel at least the tiniest smidgen of pleasure at a man doing this for them.

 

It's an extremely brave/stupid/romantic/crazy/dangerous/hurtful/loving/whatever thing to do. Its the spice of life!

 

She has a lot to take in, and I dont think anyone can really foretell what her actions are going to be. She needs time to think about LsD's actions and what it means moving forward.

 

I love the fact that you didn't tell her immediately. I think you did the right thing by waiting, building your life, establishing yourself as a happy, stable member of the community. You're proving that you don't need her to maintain a happy existence in the town.

 

I hope it works out for the best - for everyone involved.

 

And no matter what the outcome may be, I think you're showing yourself to be more than capable of dealing with it. I applaud you and wish you luck.

[carhill]

Truthfully, I want to hear him sharing the experience of someone walking through the door of his business and all the thoughts of this friend suddenly becoming less significant. Perhaps the inspiration this friend imparted within him is merely a signpost along his path and his destiny awaits in another place with another person. Life is a journey

 

On balance, with empathy, I've seen little relation of what inspiration LsD has been in his friend's life and how she has grown and changed as a result of his presence. Perhaps hearing that would be meaningful. We've certainly heard how she's been a positive influence in his life.

 

I am eminently a romantic, but increasingly a practical one

[LakesideDream]

OP, update us on this nuance. My remembrances from reading here is this is a lady you've known for many years, much longer than your "affair" and one who has no trouble speaking her mind. I also recall her H knowing about you already and for a long time. Is this accurate? If it is, IMO, I can't see any reason why she would be situationally "nice" to you if that is not the norm for your long friendship. If you both have been direct about your perspectives in the past, what would have changed? Help us with that.

 

IME, the longer and closer the friendship, the more likely the parties are to be brutally honest in the face-to-face. I've dealt with a parallel that bears this out. There's no worry about being "annoying", trust me In fact, I'm somewhat impressed that neither LsD nor his friend ended up being that way. Good on ya for doing much better than I

 

Carhill, she is a very "in control" woman, at least with the world, close and far. If she had something important to say she would have said it. I would not have been suprised for her to tell me to "please go away.. I can't be do this", or an I can't do this now. There was nothing like that in the conversation.

 

More than most, I think, I'm adverse to rejection. I didn't hear or feel any of that, I felt more trepidation on her part than anything. Fear of what's going to happen next. Maybe fear because I am an uncontrollable "wild card".. in her life now. She runs her life (with the exception of me) with a strong arm. In the past she has been very attracted to not being able to "run" me. I digress to much. My point is if I was truely unwelcome she would have made it very clear to me tut suite.

 

She didn't not discourge me when I told her I would see her again soon.

 

Back to work... thanks for reading.

[torranceshipman]

The part where you say 'Maybe fear because I am an uncontrollable "wild card".. in her life now' - that's exactly how I'd feel if I was her, but you are choosing to see this as her fear of a big change in her life she'll make because of her feelings for you, i.e. something ultimately positive in some way...whereas I took it as meaning a big fear, period, that a guy who she'd kept at arms length for a reason suddenly transplanted his entire life to her doorstep to be with her, uninvited, and risks messing up her life as she knows/wants it. Even if she couldnt 'control' the idea of you, you were still in a very 'controllable' position, across the country, away from her real life, but this changes everything, you being here.

 

If she's a strong woman, I think she'd take action to do what needs to be done, and would have taken action to be with you but she hasnt. And she might be really fearing her life being out of kilter now-NOT a good feeling for a woman that appreciates control (I know, I'm like this) and if she's anything like me (lets hope she's not!), the inclination would be to be really turned off and avoidant of such a loose cannon-not appreciating that she's been compromised into an uncomfortable and risky position - and to then go into 100% damage control mode. I'd be freakin out right now if my H found out that my ex A partner suddenly popped up as amember of the local community.

 

Like I say LSD I totally hope this works for you, but please dont throw your life away choosing to see positive things in neutral or even negative situations.

[LakesideDream]

Torrance.. I'm carefully not reading "anything" into "anything". The situation is what it is.

 

She is not afraid of me, or anything I personally would do. She knows with certainty that I would not cause her harm. She knows with certainly that we can co-exist in this town with no interaction and complete peace. That was something that was lightly touched on in our conversation, it was clear that my behavior over the past eight months cleared any doubt of my intention, and sincerity. A good outcome for my procrastination!

 

It's a process... I will see her soon,

[carhill]

Hey,

 

"It's a process"™ is my line

 

Perhaps it's time to start a new thread about how things are now, referencing this one as historical information. IMO, you truly have begun a new chapter. For some reason, I keep thinking of that old Remo Williams movie when I see this title come up

[LakesideDream]

Hey,

 

"It's a process"™ is my line

 

Perhaps it's time to start a new thread about how things are now, referencing this one as historical information. IMO, you truly have begun a new chapter. For some reason, I keep thinking of that old Remo Williams movie when I see this title come up

 

 

It was the inspiration for the title. Good call. I PM'd you.

[GPFan]

How interesting this adventure has been!

 

I suppose a full reaction will be had once she has had an opportunity to allow this to sink in.

 

I wonder how long that will take? A few days, a few weeks?

[LakesideDream]

 

Like I say LSD I totally hope this works for you, but please dont throw your life away choosing to see positive things in neutral or even negative situations.

 

Torrance, At the time January 2008 that I decided to make the move, I had a list of things I wanted to accomplish during the move and after I arrived here. To my suprise, I exceeded all of those expectations less two. I still have a garage full of boxes (obviously things I don't need to live comfortably) second, I was not able to sell my old house for a profit, the crashing market prevented that, I did "get out" unharmed. I would have preferred to keep it rather than "get out" but that $1400. mortgage minus whatever I could have rented it for was to much. I had hoped the profits would offset the cost of the move and new household stuff (yea!), but it didn't. I can handle the debt I incurred.

 

I had hoped to start a business. I did and it's be wildley successful, 70 hours a week successful.. which is good therapy for me at this time. No idle hands or minds. I am to busy to fret or even think much about my personal/emotional situation until my head is on the pillow.

 

I had wanted to give to the community, time and effort, I'm doing that, working with Seniors 6 hours a month.

 

I had thought that I'd be "discovered" before accomplishing any of that. I wasn't. I was able to become established, and comfortable with a brand new life, in no time at all.. maybe in record time. Hard work.. but I am greatfull for the oppertunity.

 

Now, a few days ago, a meeting face to face. My time. I have no idea what is going to happen from here. I do however believe that this is going to be my "last stop". I own my home outright, pay $88 a month in property taxes, and the utilities. I have a business that's fun. I am making friends every day. Oh.. and I'm 58 years old. Almost retirement age. I think I done good, whatever happens with the Lady.

 

She owes me nothing. Not even another word. I owe her nothing but thanks for joys past. The slate is clean. I am much better off than I was a year ago. And.. I'm much happier. I cannot emphisize how much happier I am now, than I was a year ago. That won't change for the worse, whether I have her or not. My life only gets better (not counting age) from here on. If it becomes obvious, or even apparent that I will never have my ideal, I have what I have created here, which is a 'hella start. I will certainly not lack for company.

 

Hell, I have maybe the only growing business in town, own my home, no baggage or debts.. If she moved 600 miles away tomorrow, I'd still be ideally positioned to live comfortably and happily the rest of my life.

 

Being here, making a genuine "best effort" and being energised by my "new adventure" is much better than sitting 600 miles away, pining, wondering, being ashamed of not following my dreams. I couldn't be happy knowing there were still stones unturned... becase I lacked the courage to turn them.

[carhill]

Inspiration + courage = results

[Owl]

LSD, you know my stance on the whole affair thing...so won't even bring that up.

 

But...I DO wish you well on every other endeavor. Its awesome to hear how things are going on the homefront and and business side of things. I really do hope that all of that pans out for you.

[All Star]

I think you're making a huge mistake waiting for her.

 

Sounds like you've made a good life for yourself where you are though. Move on and forget her. She's clearly, clearly not interested.

 

Start over in all senses of the word, LD. Don't do to someone else what was done to you.

 

You have a chance to right a wrong now.

 

Do it.

 

 

You sound liek a great guy. Don't spend your life waiting on this. I would not have said anythign or done anythign to upset you either. You can't base your hopes on her response to this surprise or shock.

[LakesideDream]

You sound liek a great guy. Don't spend your life waiting on this. I would not have said anythign or done anythign to upset you either. You can't base your hopes on her response to this surprise or shock.

 

All Star, Please read my post a few posts ago. I have hopes and dreams.. don't we all. Those hopes and dreams are emotion. The rest of what I have accomplished here in my new home, and adopted new hometown is tangible. I don't have to restart my intimate relation with my old love to be happy. I would be "happier" if that happens. It would be the icing on the cake.

 

But... in the overall scheme of things.. cake, with or without icing ain't bad! I'm beginning to believe that My life is on the right track, and I am acknowledging my blessings. I couldn't see or feel that in the past.

 

A sure sign of the return of my happiness and self-esteem? Looks that way to me. Thanks for your opinion.

[pelicanpreacher]

All Star, Please read my post a few posts ago. I have hopes and dreams.. don't we all. Those hopes and dreams are emotion. The rest of what I have accomplished here in my new home, and adopted new hometown is tangible. I don't have to restart my intimate relation with my old love to be happy. I would be "happier" if that happens. It would be the icing on the cake.

 

But... in the overall scheme of things.. cake, with or without icing ain't bad! I'm beginning to believe that My life is on the right track, and I am acknowledging my blessings. I couldn't see or feel that in the past.

 

A sure sign of the return of my happiness and self-esteem? Looks that way to me. Thanks for your opinion.

 

I'm pleased to see things working out so well on the business front as bad as this economy's been getting and also pleased that you have kept your romantic perspectives grounded in reality. Keep your hopes and dreams balanced with a focused low center of gravity and it'll be hard to knock you off your feet again!

[Touche]

Screw all this love stuff, I'm dying to know what business Lake is in! I want to take the burden off my dear sweet husband!!!!!

 

PM me!!!

[signedin2008]

Screw all this love stuff, I'm dying to know what business Lake is in! I want to take the burden off my dear sweet husband!!!!!

 

PM me!!!

 

My guesses:

 

1) Gigolo

2) Male Private Stripper

3) Womanizer

 

I am just kidding!

[Art_Critic]

I'm dying to know what business Lake is in! I want to take the burden off my dear sweet husband!!!!!

 

PM me!!!

 

same here....

[White Flower]

Being here, making a genuine "best effort" and being energised by my "new adventure" is much better than sitting 600 miles away, pining, wondering, being ashamed of not following my dreams. I couldn't be happy knowing there were still stones unturned... becase I lacked the courage to turn them.

Amen brother Lake!!!

 

Too many face death with dreams unfulfilled. You did it! Now the rest lays in free will on her part and I am sure either way you will be satisfied because you did your part. I, for one, am proud of your efforts including the most ominous one--walking up to her and sharing your dream with her. That took some guts.

[White Flower]

Screw all this love stuff, I'm dying to know what business Lake is in! I want to take the burden off my dear sweet husband!!!!!

 

PM me!!!

This was cute:laugh:.

 

Pssst: Lakey, R U gonna tell?

[All Star]

All Star, Please read my post a few posts ago. I have hopes and dreams.. don't we all. Those hopes and dreams are emotion. The rest of what I have accomplished here in my new home, and adopted new hometown is tangible. I don't have to restart my intimate relation with my old love to be happy. I would be "happier" if that happens. It would be the icing on the cake.

 

But... in the overall scheme of things.. cake, with or without icing ain't bad! I'm beginning to believe that My life is on the right track, and I am acknowledging my blessings. I couldn't see or feel that in the past.

 

A sure sign of the return of my happiness and self-esteem? Looks that way to me. Thanks for your opinion.

 

 

 

OK as long as you didn't do all of these good things in a effort to look more attractive to HER. I think you went out there and made a success of yourself so that maybe she would notice this and choose you over hubby?

Whatever the reason the end result is a good one.

[All Star]

A sure sign of the return of my happiness and self-esteem? Looks that way to me. Thanks for your opinion.

 

The true and only sign of this (in this case)will be when you announce that you have met a new love.

 

This is where the rubbers meets the road. You with a new woman is all I will accept as proof after everything you've done here thus far.

[OWoman]

Amen brother Lake!!!

 

Too many face death with dreams unfulfilled. You did it! Now the rest lays in free will on her part and I am sure either way you will be satisfied because you did your part. I, for one, am proud of your efforts including the most ominous one--walking up to her and sharing your dream with her. That took some guts.

 

 

hear, hear! You rock, LsD!!