Bought a new Home today The Adventure Begins!

[White Flower]

I never said anything about my satisfaction and for the record, I talk to GOD all the time. No, I don't hear voices, but I still ask for his help and guidance every day. There is nothing presumptuous in wanting to know GOD or asking for his help for I wouldn't be the man I am today without him. Where in my post did you see me ordering GOD or anyone else around? You must be an OW because you're fast to twist words to fit your own evil.

You know PP, I really like you, but you are generalizing here and saying that all OWs are evil. Most are not, you know. Haven't you noticed the majority on these boards standing by and waiting on the decision of the MM to make a move with regard to leaving? Most do not demand they leave the W; most prefer to have their MM make the decision on his own.

 

Once again, the problem lies within the M and sometimes one MP leaves. It doesn't matter if he/she leaves for another person.

 

Maybe this is starting a new subject and for that I apologize, LsD, but perhaps there an ego problem here? How differently would I feel if I had to say to someone...

 

1) My H left me.

2) My H left me for an OW.

 

I suppose it could hurt my ego or could be embarrassing in some way that he left me for another woman yet in the end I am divorced anyway so who cares about the matter with which the M ended?

 

Trimmer is right in that these boards are full of the question IS THE AFFAIR ABOUT 2 PEOPLE OR 3? I say the M is about 2 people and the affair is about 2 people. The WS needs to decide which is a better fit and improve all three lives.

 

And who is to say that the H of LsD's MW wouldn't be happier if she left him? Why do we always need to see the BS as the victim?

 

When I was betrayed I felt like a victim for only a little while. I dusted myself off and began making changes to improve my life. I got over it and refuse to wallow in it.

 

Timmer, I respect your long post and even like the paraphrasing. We all come to this planet to work on our soul I'm sure. Most of us do what we feel deep down is right and sometimes that feeling goes agains the norm. Sometimes we don't even understand it ourselves yet it feels right. I've never done anything like this before and refuse to do it again, yet I know deep down I was supposed to do it. I'm no psycho or freak or evil person. And actually, there was a peace about the relationship. You can laugh all you want but I don't care. For some reason I was supposed to go through it.

 

And while it may seem that I was selfish, evil, thoughtless, or any other adjectives BSs would like to throw out there, I never made a demand on him to leave his W, or disrupted any plans they ever had, or asked him for money nor did I take it when it was offered to me. I don't want to make this post or thread about me but I do want to defend OPs because most are on the sidelines hoping for the best but hardly demanding anything at all. Receiving love or affection that was freely given to us hardly seems evil at all. Call it selfish, but not evil.

[pelicanpreacher]

Presumptuous also to assume that every human has a belief in "god" and should be held accountable to whatever code of beliefs the poster does.

 

 

 

I also found it very interesting that the poster holds out the belief that OW are evil in some way rather than perhaps misguided. I don't find anything supportive in that statement frankly.

 

Tell you what Terminator. When I'm standing in line for the "Pearly Gates" you hold onto your beliefs while standing in the "other" line!

[LakesideDream]

The question that glaringly begs though is why you aren't knee deep in the dating scene

 

 

Well there you go. There was history. It's all there somewhere in this post. As for why I'm not "knee deep" in the dating scene. I tried it. It wasn't for me. I have never in my single life had problem finding opposite sex companionship if I wanted it. It's much more difficult to find love.

 

I just moved away from one of the entertainment "capitals" of the world, where a dead person can get a date. Dating wasn't the answer for me.

 

As for the lady having a "gold played who-who" not only is it a disgusting metaphor, it a childish concept. Sex has very little to do with lonliness. My heart doesen't yearn for orgasms. Having your special person love you, that you love wholeheartedly are in love with in return is like a fabulous meal. Sex is the dessert. Said another way, Love satisfies the soul, sex satisfies a specific need.

 

If I find out that I can not have the woman I want, I may decide to become available for other options. Maybe. I'm a little long in the tooth to risk to much, take to many chances with a stranger is not very attractive to me. Risking "everything" is not an option.

 

I have found out since my divorce (I have dated!) that women at or near my age move MUCH faster than I do. Nearly all the woman I "dated" had been married 2-3 times dring the time I was married. Often they had given birth to children with multiple men, often into their late 30's even early 40's. There life experiance was to keep trying until they "got it right".. yet they were again single. That was a lot to think about.

 

Also in my experiance, single women fifty and over want things right now, marriage, committment, intermingling of assets (to put it nicely)... I have resisted that to date. I found that I need to know someone before inviting them to share my life, and sharing theirs. That doesen't happen in thirty or sixty days.

 

Hope that clears the air.

[Terminator]

Tell you what Terminator. When I'm standing in line for the "Pearly Gates" you hold onto your beliefs while standing in the "other" line!

 

And once again you presume too much. You have no idea what my beliefs are do you, yet you assume you will be in the line for the gates and I will not?

 

What arrogance you display, hardly befitting a man of god.

[LakesideDream]

And once again you presume too much. You have no idea what my beliefs are do you, yet you assume you will be in the line for the gates and I will not?

 

What arrogance you display, hardly befitting a man of god.

 

 

Come on guys! Calm down. Can't you see the futility of arguing about your reletive positions in front of a supposed diety, using those supposed positions to prove the merits of your arguments?

[Lookingforward]

Lake, just tell her already ffs and put us ALL out of our misery....the suspense is killing me.

[OpenBook]

Lake, just tell her already ffs and put us ALL out of our misery....the suspense is killing me.

 

:lmao: Yeah, Lakeside, we're dyin' heeah.

[LakesideDream]

:lmao: Yeah, Lakeside, we're dyin' heeah.

 

 

The wheels are turning relentlessly. I feel the pressure already.

[pelicanpreacher]

And once again you presume too much. You have no idea what my beliefs are do you, yet you assume you will be in the line for the gates and I will not?

 

What arrogance you display, hardly befitting a man of god.

 

My post was tongue in cheek. Do you routinely lack a sense of humor?

[LakesideDream]

Have you consider dating younger single women? Say late 20s or early 30s?

 

 

Actually I have a beautiful 28 year old daughter. Dating a woman (girl) that age seems... ah, kinda unseemly to me. I don't know how much I'd have in common with them.

 

I did date a 35 year old gal, really sweet and attractive. Her 3 young (all under 8) children were a big problem for me, as I had already raised 2. That relationship ended when she decided to "get back" with her estranged husband (seperated a year, he had moved out of state). Her reason of course was "for the kids"... I agreed with her, I don't think I would have made a good "step" to little ones. I pretty much felt like I had dodged a bullet.

 

I don't think I would date a "30 something" again.

[Trimmer]

Timmer, I respect your long post and even like the paraphrasing. We all come to this planet to work on our soul I'm sure. Most of us do what we feel deep down is right and sometimes that feeling goes agains the norm. Sometimes we don't even understand it ourselves yet it feels right. I've never done anything like this before and refuse to do it again, yet I know deep down I was supposed to do it. I'm no psycho or freak or evil person. And actually, there was a peace about the relationship. You can laugh all you want but I don't care. For some reason I was supposed to go through it.

I hear you and I promise you I'm not laughing, and I'm not one of the ones throwing around the word evil.... You sound thoughful, and I'm not so holy that I'm in any position to judge, although it seems I need to remind myself of that on occasion.

 

It sounds like you have been honest with yourself, and I respect that above almost anything else.

[Lookingforward]

My post was tongue in cheek. Do you routinely lack a sense of humor?

 

I failed to see the humor in your post either...........good try at backpedalling though

[Lookingforward]

There are some 30 something who don't have a seperated husband or kids nor do they want any. And many women reached into their 30s are willing to date men in their 50s.

 

The question is...why would a man of nearly 60 WANT to date a 20 or 30 something? LOL

[LakesideDream]

The question is...why would a man of nearly 60 WANT to date a 20 or 30 something? LOL

 

 

There are probably a few somewhat ribald answers to that question.. the answer for me is he doesen't.

[whichwayisup]

There's no point of talking Lakey out of this, he isn't going to change his mind. And, it doesn't matter what anyone here thinks of his choices, it's his life. Bottomline, he has set this all in motion between the move and his plans, so telling him to date someone else, let alone a younger woman is kind of pointless.

 

Maybe in the future if this thing with the MW doesn't work or if she decides to stay with her H, and tells Lakey goodbye, then is the time to tell him to date. Him dating now is pointless because he doesn't want anyone else but her.

[LakesideDream]

There's no point of talking Lakey out of this, he isn't going to change his mind. And, it doesn't matter what anyone here thinks of his choices, it's his life. Bottomline, he has set this all in motion between the move and his plans, so telling him to date someone else, let alone a younger woman is kind of pointless.

 

Maybe in the future if this thing with the MW doesn't work or if she decides to stay with her H, and tells Lakey goodbye, then is the time to tell him to date. Him dating now is pointless because he doesn't want anyone else but her.

 

 

WWIU, astute observation. It's no suprise to me that people cheat, are promiscuious, a large part of it is because they do not know what they want. They are always trying to "upgrade", or find something new.

[mistresswchildren]

Lake will do what he wants. We all do. Telling him to date a younger woman is just a little funny for me. I'm 25 and the idea of Lake dating someone only five years older than me (or even ten years older), just doesn't seem like something he would do. As we age, we seem to gain experience. Lake seems to have that in spades. What would a fifty year old have in common with a thirty year old other than the obvious? Lord knows you cannot sustain a relationship on sex alone.

 

Besides Lake, you seem to be quite content with your decisions. You are aware of all possibilities, and you are happy to face whatever happens. I cannot fault you on that. We love who we love. No one really makes that choice no matter what people try to say.

[LakesideDream]

The choice of words is important. Blessed says it's better to "go after" a young woman..

 

From the day I decided to embark on this quest, I never thought of it as "going after" anyone or anything. The great distance between my friend and myself was huge in our relationship and lack of. It was always a safe "buffer" for her. My goal was to remove that buffer and allow her to make a decision on a level playing field.

 

Good things have happened since then. I actually fell in love with my new home, the area is wonderful. I also lost much of my nerve not wanting to just "walk in" on her. I became more timid. My last decision to open a business will force that issue.

 

My goal is not, and will never be to have some undefined "someone" in my life. A random "nice attractive" person is not what I am looking forward to. Might that be what I am eventally faced with accepting? It's certainly a possibility.

 

Additionally Blessed sounds very inexperianced. The idea of a 58 year old man having a serious relationship with someone twenty or more years younger is pretty far fetched. I cannot imagine having anything in common with a person that young. I may be an old fool, I hope I'm not a stupid old fool.

[LakesideDream]

Once again, I am very aware of the problematic situation of a 58 year old man getting invovled with somone in her 30s in addition to countless potential and real problems. With that being said, I think it is still better than getting invovled with a woman who is married to another man.

 

You just don't get it. I'm not "getting involved".... I've been involved. I made the choice, she made the choice to "get involved" together, a long time ago, and then again not so long ago.

 

It's not about older guys and younger gals.

[pelicanpreacher]

I failed to see the humor in your post either...........good try at backpedalling though

 

I guess you missed the smiley face appended at the end of it. No backpeddling...Sorry you're just too dense to understand when someone isn't being serious!

[pelicanpreacher]

The choice of words is important. Blessed says it's better to "go after" a young woman..

 

From the day I decided to embark on this quest, I never thought of it as "going after" anyone or anything. The great distance between my friend and myself was huge in our relationship and lack of. It was always a safe "buffer" for her. My goal was to remove that buffer and allow her to make a decision on a level playing field.

 

Good things have happened since then. I actually fell in love with my new home, the area is wonderful. I also lost much of my nerve not wanting to just "walk in" on her. I became more timid. My last decision to open a business will force that issue.

 

My goal is not, and will never be to have some undefined "someone" in my life. A random "nice attractive" person is not what I am looking forward to. Might that be what I am eventally faced with accepting? It's certainly a possibility.

 

Additionally Blessed sounds very inexperianced. The idea of a 58 year old man having a serious relationship with someone twenty or more years younger is pretty far fetched. I cannot imagine having anything in common with a person that young. I may be an old fool, I hope I'm not a stupid old fool.

 

Now you are someone who doesn't routinely lack a sense of humor!

[pelicanpreacher]

One thing I thought of Lake is now that you've moved from the "entertainment capital" to a more traditional community some of the women might be more down to earth and attractive to you from a values and situational standpoint. You'll certainly be making business contacts and new friends so what happens if after you start your new business and get it running successfully a suitable woman by your standards and requirements you do business with catches your eye with eyes of her own before you get a chance to reveal yourself and your new living arrangement to MW?

 

This isn't as far fetched as you might think for an established businessman like yourself presents an attractive possibility for women who are in the right circumstance to consider a relationship so you're bound to get noticed more sooner than later for you have to admit that you have been noticed before.

 

I'd advise that you go ahead and reveal your presence soon before the "slings and arrows of outrageous fortune" get a chance to complicate your life any further!

[LakesideDream]

One thing I thought of Lake is now that you've moved from the "entertainment capital" to a more traditional community some of the women might be more down to earth and attractive to you from a values and situational standpoint. You'll certainly be making business contacts and new friends so what happens if after you start your new business and get it running successfully a suitable woman by your standards and requirements you do business with catches your eye with eyes of her own before you get a chance to reveal yourself and your new living arrangement to MW?

 

This isn't as far fetched as you might think for an established businessman like yourself presents an attractive possibility for women who are in the right circumstance to consider a relationship so you're bound to get noticed more sooner than later for you have to admit that you have been noticed before.

 

I'd advise that you go ahead and reveal your presence soon before the "slings and arrows of outrageous fortune" get a chance to complicate your life any further!

 

 

I'm sure that could happen. I'm also sure that's one of the reasons I like this place so much. When I decided to open a business, it also occured to me that there might be side benifits.

 

Nothing will complicate my life until I choose to let it happen. But thanks for the thought/advice.

[Owl]

WWIU, astute observation. It's no suprise to me that people cheat, are promiscuious, a large part of it is because they do not know what they want. They are always trying to "upgrade", or find something new.

 

Many people may indeed think this way. Your ex-wife, for example.

 

But look at the pain her choice to upgrade cost YOU.

 

Was that fair to YOU?

 

Just because others think this way is no reason to "go along with the crowd" and start justifying your choices in the same fashion, my friend. Getting older doesn't justify making choices that don't match the morals you've had for most of your life.

[bentnotbroken]

Many people may indeed think this way. Your ex-wife, for example.

 

But look at the pain her choice to upgrade cost YOU.

 

Was that fair to YOU?

 

Just because others think this way is no reason to "go along with the crowd" and start justifying your choices in the same fashion, my friend. Getting older doesn't justify making choices that don't match the morals you've had for most of your life.

 

 

Amen. Couldn't have said it better.