Bought a new Home today The Adventure Begins!

[LakesideDream]

I suppose your LS "location" is in need of a change once again.

 

I have never come here to make judgment on another's situation. Each life is unique and it isn't for me to question. I can't imagine doing what you are doing, but I can imagine a love that spans decades, even if I haven't had the experience myself.

 

Setting up a new pad, with all the bells and whistles you've never had, THAT I am in the process of doing myself. I'm still my frugal self in many ways, but I want the things I've lived without for my entire adult life (I'm 43.) I now have a dishwasher (my first) and ice and water on the fridge door. I'd love one of those cool looking front loading washers, but I can wait for mine to crap out, first. I'm tired of particle board furniture and am working on replacing pieces one by one, month by month. I'm whittling away at the hand-me down furniture in the kids rooms, too, but not in as big a hurry. They are kids, after all. One is 18 and she can take it all with her when she leaves if she desires.

 

I'm enough of the romantic to wish you everything you desire, while being enough of the realist to be cautious on your behalf. I do hope things go the way you want them to.

 

Thank you for sharing your odyssey. I am enjoying it thus far. I know you are man enough to share the rest, regardless of the outcome.

 

 

Legs, We (my helpers and I) arrived this morning at 3am after a long 12 hour drive. Of course every delay possible interfered with our leaving Mon, Tues, Wed, but all is well. My internet access was already up and running when I arrived, gotta love the small town service, especially when they know they have a high $$ sucker account coming in. I was really suprised when I opened my laptop and it found their WiFi network instantly. All I had to do is set the security and go.

 

You are correct, I will keep all posted on the haps. Right now that's a few weeks of setting up, getting the new stuff, agonizing about my balloning credit balances (not really, stuff happens), and waiting for the "end of the known world" deliveries to begin arriving (Washer/Dryer, Flat Screens, Fridge, new flatware, it's an endless progression).

 

Thanks for your kind thoughts. I always try to answer, and will answer PM's.

[LakesideDream]

This unloading trucks, trying to put stuff away, is really worse than I could have imagined.

 

The last three moves (over 15 years) I've said "never again" each time. I've afraid to type it now, but man are my bones screaming it at me.

[carhill]

So, how does your last move feel? Time to grow roots.

[LakesideDream]

So, how does your last move feel? Time to grow roots.

 

I agree with you totally !! Moving every 7-8 years is part of the "curse of upward mobility". Better house, better neighborhood, blah blah. I sincerely hope this is it.

[Darth Vader]

Amazing. Just shaking my head here. Unbelievable.

 

Everybody is congratulating a man who just uprooted his life. MOVED to the same town as a married woman and plans on wooing her away from her husband.

 

Funny do you really think if you do win her over she will want to live in the same town as her husband?

 

This is just sickening.

 

 

Ok, so this is a married woman that the poster of this Thread is going after. I don't know if she's rode you yet, but, how do you think her hubby will feel if he finds out that his wife was screwing other men, like you? If I recall, your ex did this to you? Duude! Bad mistake! You may end up getting yourself killed, not to mention your MW! I wonder what impact this will have on their children, if they have any, that is! I agree with Noforgiveness, PATHETIC!

[Darth Vader]

While not in the mood to be combative, I suppose a reply is in order. This is a reality based world. I have lived in this world as an adult for 40+ years, it hasn't molded itself to my needs or desires.

 

Seven years ago I was faced with the reality that my life, as I knew it up until then was over. I felt like the biggest loser in the world. I had the "good fortune" of having someone help me through that period.

 

After a time I understood that my ex had decided she wasn't happy in out marriage and decided to make a change. She didn't include me in the decision, and I really didn't fight her over it either. It was "time".

 

If it's "time" it's time. I spent 25 years married believing that if you worked hard, did your best, worked actively on your marriage, and family, and stayed faithful that I could be secure in my future. That was Bovine Scat wasn't it ?!?

 

Finding happiness is fleeting at best. Looking for it is almost senseless. If it finds you, it's luck.

 

 

So.... Your wife screwed you over royally, hurt you, dragged you through the mud, now you want to do this to someone else? You've not learned a DAMNED THING! And yes, I will be very combative! There's just some things a person should never do!

[Darth Vader]

An affair is good (your ow) when it serves your benefit, and bad (your ex wife) when it is against your benefit?

 

 

Very interesting! Almost like he's twisting things around to suit his purpose!

[LakesideDream]

Very interesting! Almost like he's twisting things around to suit his purpose!

 

Twisting nothing Darth. I am doing something I have thought about, considered, agonized over.. procrastinated about, delayed, waited for the "feelings" to go away... for almost seven years.

 

Clearly there is great hypocracy in the goal I wish to achieve. Clearly I understand that I am not on moral high ground.

 

Just as clearly I am willing to look past all of it for a chance at (now almost) 58 years old to be happy. I have learned all I need to, and experianced all I want to of unhappiness over the last 40 years. If I believed there was another way, I would probably reach for it.

 

God love you if your are a happy Darth, and congradulations. If not, the time may come when you are willing to move outside your comfort zone to be happy. Write again in 20 years or so.. let me know how it works out.

[Darth Vader]

Anyway, my point is, if you screw this woman, it may be the last mistake, or rather, intensional, that you do. I've said it before, it does cost people their lives! Death has a funny way of changing peoples plans! Don't say or think that her husband's not gonna kill you and her, because it happens all the time!

[Darth Vader]

Twisting nothing Darth. I am doing something I have thought about, considered, agonized over.. procrastinated about, delayed, waited for the "feelings" to go away... for almost seven years.

 

Clearly there is great hypocracy in the goal I wish to achieve. Clearly I understand that I am not on moral high ground.

 

Just as clearly I am willing to look past all of it for a chance at (now almost) 58 years old to be happy. I have learned all I need to, and experianced all I want to of unhappiness over the last 40 years. If I believed there was another way, I would probably reach for it.

 

God love you if your are a happy Darth, and congradulations. If not, the time may come when you are willing to move outside your comfort zone to be happy. Write again in 20 years or so.. let me know how it works out.

 

 

Funny, to add to my former post, you may not be alive in 20! I want you to think about that really good! Who says that age has wisdom? It may have nothing but folly!

[LakesideDream]

Funny, to add to my former post, you may not be alive in 20! I want you to think about that really good! Who says that age has wisdom? It may have nothing but folly!

 

Darth, I was being sarcastic when I typed "20", the twenty is part of my problem. You are focusing so tightly that you are missing the nuance of the replys.

 

Or possibly I have overestimated your capacity?

[Darth Vader]

Darth, I was being sarcastic when I typed "20", the twenty is part of my problem. You are focusing so tightly that you are missing the nuance of the replys.

 

Or possibly I have overestimated your capacity?

 

 

No, but I see the real nusience here! You're no better than your Ex-wife, in fact, you're worse!

[Darth Vader]

I hope you realize that I don't want you hurt, or to Die, but there are better ways, if you catch my meaning. As Gunny always says, there are about 6 Billion people out there, not just her!

[LakesideDream]

No, but I see the real nusience here! You're no better than your Ex-wife, in fact, you're worse!

 

That would be an owie... if you'd ever met her. In actuality, I would settle happily for equality with her in all things. She seems to be very happy now, I ask for nothing more for myself.

 

I understand your ire Darth. It's not misplaced. You are correct. In Candyland you would undoubtedly be Mayor. I have played by the rules my whole life. Some months ago it became obvious I would never have "my piece of the pie" if I continued to toe the line. Win or lose, I want to be in the game at least once in my life.

 

I can happily accept it IF it's not in your heart to understand my position. I am not posting for your acceptance. I post as a cathartic, on the OM/OW board. This is the place for posters like me to air their messages.

[NewSunrise]

Hey, LSD...Seems not much changed since my "TheWife" and "FlyingHigh" days...

Thought I'd crawl in LS in see what's going on...

 

Very big decision to uproot your life for someone who wasn't willing to give her H for you who have been loyally in love. Now, I wish I would've crawled in earlier to tell you, DON'T and move only with an honest purpose for yourself and not for anyone. But oh, well...

 

Things happen for a reason. Sounds very cliche but it's true. Perhaps you making this drastic move is what YOU need to figure out once and for all whether or not the MW is willing to uproot herself from her M for you.

 

As being cheated on, my X (MotoMan) finally divorced (Yeah!!) never moved in with the OW despite all the promises he made to the OW. Happily moved on, dating my best friend of 13 + years.

 

Be careful that you don't lose yourself in your attempts to wooe her. No one is worth having when you have to buy them so that you can maintain their status quo.

 

Congrats in the new dig!

[Darth Vader]

That would be an owie... if you'd ever met her. In actuality, I would settle happily for equality with her in all things. She seems to be very happy now, I ask for nothing more for myself.

 

I understand your ire Darth. It's not misplaced. You are correct. In Candyland you would undoubtedly be Mayor. I have played by the rules my whole life. Some months ago it became obvious I would never have "my piece of the pie" if I continued to toe the line. Win or lose, I want to be in the game at least once in my life.

 

I can happily accept it IF it's not in your heart to understand my position. I am not posting for your acceptance. I post as a cathartic, on the OM/OW board. This is the place for posters like me to air their messages.

 

 

Oh, do you really think you're the only one out there that feels like they're toeing the line? If I had a dollar everytime I heard that one I'd be rich! My point is, that most everyone feels that way, they just don't talk about it much. So, you don't hear of it. I'm serious about the counseling from the other posting in this section.

 

Seriously though, how would you feel if her husband caught you two in the middle of her Riding you? What if killed himself, because of what he saw, or found out what you and his wife did to him, happens more than we all think! You know, as well as I, how much cheaters Lie, If they will cheat with you, they'll cheat on you! You know very well that's a true statement!OMG! I hope I'm not sounding like Dr. Phill!

 

Ok, enough for tonight, I've got a bunch of stormtroopers that need shooting practice!

[LakesideDream]

Hey, LSD...Seems not much changed since my "TheWife" and "FlyingHigh" days...

Thought I'd crawl in LS in see what's going on...

 

Very big decision to uproot your life for someone who wasn't willing to give her H for you who have been loyally in love. Now, I wish I would've crawled in earlier to tell you, DON'T and move only with an honest purpose for yourself and not for anyone. But oh, well...

 

Things happen for a reason. Sounds very cliche but it's true. Perhaps you making this drastic move is what YOU need to figure out once and for all whether or not the MW is willing to uproot herself from her M for you.

 

As being cheated on, my X (MotoMan) finally divorced (Yeah!!) never moved in with the OW despite all the promises he made to the OW. Happily moved on, dating my best friend of 13 + years.

 

Be careful that you don't lose yourself in your attempts to wooe her. No one is worth having when you have to buy them so that you can maintain their status quo.

 

Congrats in the new dig!

 

NS, There is a lot of backstory you missed in your absence. When the time was "actually" right, many years ago I was unable to make this move. While it would have been a financial burden after my divorce I could have managed. What I could not overcome was that my adult son, called from Cali for help. He was deep into Meth, and needed a place to sober up, and get his act together. I took him in, and did the best I could for 18 months. He did clean up his drug addiction, and I'm proud I was there for it. He didn't overcome the underlying problems that led to the drugs, so eventually, once back on his own he went back to the drugs.

 

He's off them now, but far away from being a producing member of society. I ended up giving him 18 months I really needed for myself. Now it's a total of 7 years later, and it's my chance to take a risk. I have thought about it forever. And.. no matter what happens romanticly I like the new house, area, etc. I'll be fine.

[LakesideDream]

Anyway, my point is, if you screw this woman, it may be the last mistake, or rather, intensional, that you do. I've said it before, it does cost people their lives! Death has a funny way of changing peoples plans! Don't say or think that her husband's not gonna kill you and her, because it happens all the time!

 

 

Darth old buddy (we're buddies right?) I missed this ominous post the first time around, glad I caught.

 

You probably don't know it but I had the priviledge of serving as a Marine Corps officer, in Viet Nam, in 1971-72. While I planned to make it a career, the enemy had another agenda and after 18 months I was injured seriously enough that I could not remain in the Corps. I commanded a company of Marines providing security at a Firebase, which came under intense attack many times. I was there to be overrun three times. I have seen and personally dealt more death and destruction than you can comprehend.

 

While respectful of others, I have absolutely no fear of death. Been there done that. Five years ago I was "dead" a few times in the hospital, no problem to me. My attitude was "Oh Well" it's been a long time coming. I also felt a profound relief that I would no longer face the day to day responsibilities of citizenship. That really pissed a lot of people off. In fact I'm sure I wouldn't be typing this right now if the Lady I am in pursuit of hadn't told me "Dammit you can't die, I'm not through with you"... when I was at my sickest/weakest. That's what made me fight for life.

 

Her husband knows me as well. If not "by sight" any longer, by reputation. We all spent our teen years in the same med sized town. While he probably will not "go quietly into the night", I have serious doubts about his confrontational style being physical combat. He has no expertise in that area.

[LakesideDream]

I Just Got It !! You are FlyinHigh ?!

 

Over a year, no hear eh?

 

Do you believe I've actually hopped off the high dive?

[Lookingforward]

No wonder there are single OWs - all the "available" men are off chasing MW.

 

This is seriously messed up.

 

Think I may as well just forget about finding anyone, period.

[carhill]

No wonder there are single OWs - all the "available" men are off chasing MW.

 

This is seriously messed up.

 

Think I may as well just forget about finding anyone, period.

There's a whole world of available men, both legally and emotionally. Women passed this available man up for 25 years. People just don't get it....LD is not "available" and hasn't been for a long time. He needs to work this out for himself, so maybe he can become "available" in his future. That's what I'm seeing here.

 

For the guy who talked about his MW "riding" him, yeah, sure, that would be a bonus, but that's not why he moved. I can say that with complete certainty.

 

BTW, LD, if I didn't thank you for your service prior, let me do that now. Regardless of how you felt, you put yourself in harm's way. That takes a lot of courage and conviction. I've never walked in your shoes, looking death in the face, but I appreciate and respect what you did for us and your country. I hope good things come your way.

[Lookingforward]

There's a whole world of available men, both legally and emotionally. Women passed this available man up for 25 years. People just don't get it....LD is not "available" and hasn't been for a long time. He needs to work this out for himself, so maybe he can become "available" in his future. That's what I'm seeing here.

 

For the guy who talked about his MW "riding" him, yeah, sure, that would be a bonus, but that's not why he moved. I can say that with complete certainty.

 

BTW, LD, if I didn't thank you for your service prior, let me do that now. Regardless of how you felt, you put yourself in harm's way. That takes a lot of courage and conviction. I've never walked in your shoes, looking death in the face, but I appreciate and respect what you did for us and your country. I hope good things come your way.

 

Yes, that "riding" term that darth uses raises my hackles too.....

 

I'm sorry but once you're over 50, the "available" pool shrinks considerably - and especially if you take into account all the ones that ARE available at that age for the very good reason that they are simply NOT relationship material.

 

Yes, I get that LD isn't really "available" because he's emotionally tied up to a MARRIED woman, which was the point of my post

[carhill]

Yes, that "riding" term that darth uses raises my hackles too.....

 

I'm sorry but once you're over 50, the "available" pool shrinks considerably - and especially if you take into account all the ones that ARE available at that age for the very good reason that they are simply NOT relationship material.

 

Yes, I get that LD isn't really "available" because he's emotionally tied up to a MARRIED woman, which was the point of my post

Regardless of her marital status (and I appreciate and validate the moral concerns), his emotions are tied up with someone specific, which makes him unavailable emotionally to yourself (I presume you're a contemporary, age-wise) or other ladies. He's tried many methods of breaking his emotional bond, and this appears to be a final attempt to either create a relationship with her or be rejected out of hand, allowing him to go through the grief process and emerge emotionally and spiritually available to all comers. Personally, I see this as a positive action, irrespective of morality, which of course is personal to each of us.

 

If my marriage doesn't work out, I'll be 50 next year and available. I'll put your assertion to the test. Even with the pain I've experienced with them throughout my life, I still admire and love women That's what I'm hearing in LD's posts. He does too, even though one betrayed him in the worst possible way. Good on him for that.

[LakesideDream]

Regardless of her marital status (and I appreciate and validate the moral concerns), his emotions are tied up with someone specific, which makes him unavailable emotionally to yourself (I presume you're a contemporary, age-wise) or other ladies. He's tried many methods of breaking his emotional bond, and this appears to be a final attempt to either create a relationship with her or be rejected out of hand, allowing him to go through the grief process and emerge emotionally and spiritually available to all comers. Personally, I see this as a positive action, irrespective of morality, which of course is personal to each of us.

 

If my marriage doesn't work out, I'll be 50 next year and available. I'll put your assertion to the test. Even with the pain I've experienced with them throughout my life, I still admire and love women That's what I'm hearing in LD's posts. He does too, even though one betrayed him in the worst possible way. Good on him for that.

 

Carhill, I didn't realize three months ago when I decided to attempt this move, or even two months ago when I found the house that this was it for me. You are correct, I need to know, whether it's going to by a Yea or Nay. At that time I had lost track of the purpose behind my move, it having been forgotten in the fog of years passing. Thanks for helping to focus it for me again.

Edited April 6, 2008 by LakesideDream

[chuckgirl]

Ok, I haven't been on this forum for a while, so if updates are in a different thread, can someone please let me know where. If not, what is happening with this??????