in the bedroom

[humanzee]

well i am 28 years old ,my wife is 27.we've been married for 10 years .throughout marriage there has been times when the intimate aspect of our relationship has suffered the typical obstacles like stress at work or at home ,and so forth.then you have the more serious matter of bordom. she will never admit to that ,but i figure at some point everyone gets bored.but i also belive that the bordom can be repaired.in my case it has always been a temporary state.there was a time several years ago feeling this tension in the bedroom that i felt that it was my responsibility to try and make things more exiting for both of us by introducing new things such as toys ,movies,and literature.all were met with disgust and rejection .my wife has never been big on disscusing these matters ,even in a fun way.she has always had the short and sweet approach to our intimate encounters,and prefers to skip foreplay even when on the recieving end.all things being said i love my wife more than the world,but i am still human.1 or 2 encounters a month just is not enough ,and even when we do it seems as if she gives in out of sympathy .she shows no signs of desire .this has caused me to think that my performance is lacking or worse ,that she is being fufilled somewhere else.1 week ago i confronted her about this problem,and she recognized the problem and said that she gets streesed with the kids and the daily grind which is totally understandable,but you would think that at some point that she would occasionally succumb to bodys physical need for sexual stimulation .is it possible to lose your sex drive alltogether for several years at a time.i do feel that sex is part of healthy relationship.and i would never cheat on my wife,but i fear that my patience has been worn thin.talking about has only resulted in temporary remedies.and if she has to be feminded of her lack of desire than i feel that any immediate attention is not genuine. or maybe im being ridiculous.any feedback would be greatly appreciated.

[gottagogetta]

i am so with you on this one.. im 29 and sex doesnt come as often as i would like. it is a vital part of the relationship, but it shouldnt kill the relationship. i find other things to do to keep my mind off of it. i get involved with sports and playing with my son. i love her with all my heart, but it drives me crazy when a month passes and no reaction from her at all. we talk all the time about things and this does come up, and she says that everything is fine. i mean her grandfather, grandmother, and mom passed last year and thats pretty much when it started... another factor is that she had an I.U.D. put in and as we all know that brings the sex drive down for women. im not making excuses for them, but there are factores that slows down the sex drive.. now what i learned is that if you take on more and relax them more, then your chances are greater. one thing you have to realize is that some women are plain old freaks.. they love to have sex, birth control or not. some women want to have a long romantic/sensual life. sex comes when it comes, but the love is always there. my wife is my best friend and i dont pressure her into anything, i just let things flow and in time, the sex will get better, but for now, we are just living a married life as husband and wife. my wife does not like the whole 4play, i can give, but sometimes she doesnt want it. i dont get it, because she doesnt like to give it. i feel you about feeling like your the problem when it comes to the bedroom. i will do anything to make it better, but when you have sex once or twice a month, how good do you think the sex is gonna be. i sit here and think that my performance is horrible and thats why im not getting what i desire, but she begs to differ. she compliments me, then isnt in the mood for another 2weeks. dude, just find a medium and go with it. dont hold anything against her. talk to her about other things instead of sex. they seem to think we ask for it every hr, so dont give in to it. figure it out. she is not cheating on you and you wont cheat on her. dont let the thought of sex controll how you feel about her. trust me on that... we are in the same boat. i get angry all the time and thats when i start working out. or playing video games, or drawing, or taking my son for a walk , or what ever can put you in a good mood.

well i am 28 years old ,my wife is 27.we've been married for 10 years .throughout marriage there has been times when the intimate aspect of our relationship has suffered the typical obstacles like stress at work or at home ,and so forth.then you have the more serious matter of bordom. she will never admit to that ,but i figure at some point everyone gets bored.but i also belive that the bordom can be repaired.in my case it has always been a temporary state.there was a time several years ago feeling this tension in the bedroom that i felt that it was my responsibility to try and make things more exiting for both of us by introducing new things such as toys ,movies,and literature.all were met with disgust and rejection .my wife has never been big on disscusing these matters ,even in a fun way.she has always had the short and sweet approach to our intimate encounters,and prefers to skip foreplay even when on the recieving end.all things being said i love my wife more than the world,but i am still human.1 or 2 encounters a month just is not enough ,and even when we do it seems as if she gives in out of sympathy .she shows no signs of desire .this has caused me to think that my performance is lacking or worse ,that she is being fufilled somewhere else.1 week ago i confronted her about this problem,and she recognized the problem and said that she gets streesed with the kids and the daily grind which is totally understandable,but you would think that at some point that she would occasionally succumb to bodys physical need for sexual stimulation .is it possible to lose your sex drive alltogether for several years at a time.i do feel that sex is part of healthy relationship.and i would never cheat on my wife,but i fear that my patience has been worn thin.talking about has only resulted in temporary remedies.and if she has to be feminded of her lack of desire than i feel that any immediate attention is not genuine. or maybe im being ridiculous.any feedback would be greatly appreciated.