sketcher9015 Posted February 12, 2008 Share Posted February 12, 2008 guys this ones for you. my guy does not trust me anymore. the only thing i did wrong was get set up by a neighbor, who got me drunk and got me with her brother. and then promptly took my place. we have been together for almost 10 years. and he came and got me back. its been 6 months now and i have been only his. i have been trying maybe too hard feel like im on eggshells 24-7. i know i will never love again. i was divorced over 20 years when i met him. very gun shy. i may not shoot trap anymore if this cant be fixed. help! Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted February 12, 2008 Share Posted February 12, 2008 ...the only thing i did wrong was get set up by a neighbor, who got me drunk and got me with her brother. First of all, it would appear that you take no responsibility, whatsoever, for cheating on your "guy." It's all your neighbors fault. Obviously she must have tied you down, force-fed you alcohol then impaled you on her brother. I'm sorry but that just doesn't fly. You drank. You got drunk. You had sex with someone else. It's just that simple. I would probably never trust you again either. I'd always be waiting for the next excuse or woeful tale of someone getting you drunk and you sleeping with another. Maybe that's why infidelity is an absolute deal-breaker where I'm concerned. On the other hand, he did take you back so there likely is hope. However, it's obviously going to take a lot of time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sketcher9015 Posted February 12, 2008 Author Share Posted February 12, 2008 i know it may not come back. i know i was wrong. and i know i might have killed something i waited for my whole life. your 'maybe' lightens a heavy heart. thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted February 12, 2008 Share Posted February 12, 2008 i know it may not come back. i know i was wrong. and i know i might have killed something i waited for my whole life. your 'maybe' lightens a heavy heart. thank you. You said you had been divorced for over 20 years when you met your BF. That rather parallels my wife who had been divorced for 18 years when she and I started going out. You two have been together for 10 years. We've been together for 11. He came and got you back. The only absolute I know of when it comes to relationships is that there are no absolutes. If he didn't truly want to make it work he wouldn't have taken you back. The trust is going to take time. Have the two of you considered couples counseling? Link to post Share on other sites
Author sketcher9015 Posted February 12, 2008 Author Share Posted February 12, 2008 thats a bad word in his book. his x tried that and i dont want to be his x in anyway. i think if he looks at it he will see with time. it hasnt been a one way relationship at all. i have given up a lot for him over 10 years and he has done like wise. i dont know how to make him feel right again. i only talk good things about him. i am always trying to support him. i know i hurt him and did massive damage to his self esteem ' the man kind' i have worked with men all my life never got involved at work but i am a good listener and i have heard just about everything from a mans point of view. i guess i am just lost and the woman in me needs some proping up right now. i have given up my children kind of. they dont like him and will not visit me here. i must go to them. i gave up a job of 23 years to move and be with him. not to mention friends. but i would do it all over again because he is worth it. one in a million Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted February 12, 2008 Share Posted February 12, 2008 That's a lot of sacrifice. I hope he realizes, appreciates it, and values you accordingly. Link to post Share on other sites
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