To all the guys that did the dumping

[dfreeman]

The first part of my response to your quote got sent twice - the second one should explain what I was trying to say.

[dfreeman]

Oops, I'm sorry! I went back and tried to find the post you were talking about and couldn't. My apologies. Had she fallen out of love with you already when you dumped her, or was she still in love with you at the time?

 

 

No, when I broke up with her, she was still very much in love with me but had noticed my love was slipping away.

 

She fell out of love with me during her healing period and couldn't get it back!

[prisonbreak]

Dfreeman- Yea, nothing like pickin at old wounds, get pickin at the fresh ones!

 

Sed- I guess I need to start dreaming then, cause I don't got any. How sad is that??!!!! Oh wait, I would like to learn how to play guitar so i can sing acoustic-stlye and get a tattoo sleave. People will think I've gone nuts, I have 2 kids that go to a private school, live in a quiet community, very conservative...and I can't sing to save my life! Maybe I'll take guitar lessons, but wait on the tattoos. Hey, it'll be a start. Your on to something here...thanks!!!!

[November Rain]

Sorry I don't know what to say to this post it's all over the place but I did get a good laugh out of some of the things said. No disrespect intended to anyone. A good laugh is something that makes all these bad days easier.

 

By the way I'm tired of seeing YOUR when it should be YOU'RE. LOL!

 

Please don't take this the wrong way my intentions are not to affend anyone. I'm a newbie and still a little lost...OK, OK alot lost.

[PinkRibbon]

lol...did you see the person who was unforfilled?

 

 

HAHAHAHAHAHAH you guys!!!:D:D:D:D

Edited February 14, 2008 by PinkRibbon

[prisonbreak]

The "Your" mistake would be me!!!!! I admit it

 

This thread has turned into a mosh-posh, so whatever's on your (not you're) mind, feel free to add!!!

 

and welcome

[PinkRibbon]

 

so maybe this is part of what you're doing too. what do you have in your life that you get up and look forward to every day? when i force myself to answer that question honestly, i look forward to dancing. so that's ONE thing in my life that brings me total joy. i think you have to find that one thing too.

 

believe me, i know how you feel, and i know how hard it is, and my heart absolutely goes out to you. really. do you know for a fact that he's with someone else, or is that just what you're telling yourself? because in my mind my ex has a damn HAREM at his disposal now, but everyone else tells me that's probably not true.

 

I don't think there is anything I look forward to each day. Honestly the only reason I get up each day is because of my child. If it wasn't for her I would have went nuts and taken him with me. I find no joy in anything I do or anything I want to do. I just don't know anymore about anything.

 

And as far as the harem goes. Mine does have one. A whole college campus of girls 18-22. I knew this would happen. It is like wawing alcohol under an alcoholics nose. The temptation was too great and he was too weak. The thought of him with someone 18 years younger than me drives me nuts.

[November Rain]

PinkRibbon

 

I don't know your story but would like to read it. Point me to your thread. I don't know how old you are but with age comes experience and that can offer so much more than someone 18-22. I'm not bashing younger people by no means. But life is a journey of learning.

 

When I look back...yes I would like to see the face of an 18-22 year old in the mirror. But I didn't know alot about life then, except I had my parents to lean on and life was basically a picnic basket. I'm not saying that pain is not felt...pain is felt by all at any age. I just know now I have grown and the things I have learned have been learned from this journey of life.

 

I wish I could say something to you to make you feel better. I've been separated from my H of 15 years now for 4 months. I still have alot to offer and learn and so do you. Life does go on and when you least expect it sometimes wonderful things happen. Don't ever give up...never ever.

[sedgwick]

Oh wait, I would like to learn how to play guitar so i can sing acoustic-stlye and get a tattoo sleave. People will think I've gone nuts, I have 2 kids that go to a private school, live in a quiet community, very conservative...and I can't sing to save my life! Maybe I'll take guitar lessons, but wait on the tattoos. Hey, it'll be a start. Your on to something here...thanks!!!!

 

As a heavily-tattooed woman with two full sleeves who is typing this to you from my tattoo artist's shop at this very moment while she tattoos someone else, I wholeheartedly suggest that you do whatever the hell you want to your own body and don't give one single thought to what anybody else might think. If you give me some idea of your general geographic location, I will happily recommend good artists.

 

And music is like anything else: you get better by practice. A friend of mine who's an opera singer tells me all the time that people think they can't sing and after a few lessons they realize they can. She doesn't think there's anyone who can't be taught. You should have seen me when i first tried to dance! Four years ago i couldn't do any of the stuff i can do now. it's all about incessant practice!

[prisonbreak]

Sed, sleeves...oops! Maybe I should start with spelling lessons!

 

That was going to be my next question, can I learn? I'm so excited, I always thought, you were either born with a voice or you weren't. Thanks so much, I feel like I have something to look forward to.

[sedgwick]

Okay, prisonbreak, here's your homework. Tomorrow, you must do ONE THING toward being a musician. Look up teachers in your area and send one an email. Schedule a lesson, whatever. And then you must report back to me in this thread!!

 

Your other homework is to go look up some or all of the following tattoo artists: Hannah Aitchison, Denise de la Cerda, Anil Gupta, Emma Porcupine, Philip Liu, Tim Kern, and Cory Kruger.

[prisonbreak]

OH, I'm so excited I have something to do on big fat Vagina day!!!!!!! I promise i will. I'll report back on Friday afternoon. I promised myself, No computer tomorrow!!! THANK YOU!

[prisonbreak]

Sed- Ok, I know I promised myself I would stay off the computer today, But I just could not help it! I had to check if he sent me an email. Of course...nothing.

 

No call, text, IM or email. I didn't expect anything but had hoped for SOMETHING, anything. Today was the the worst day ever. I said to myself, if he doesn't make contact today, I'm done and letting go of hope. I've held on to a tiny ounce of hope deep down and now I must let it go. I'm so sad. Today was a perfect excuse for him to initiate contact. Just to check in with me. He's so done with me and it's so hard to accept it. Why does this hurt so much? I will be crying myself to sleep tonight. I am in awe. We just got back from a vacation together. We landed, I dropped him off and gave a hug/kiss good-bye. I told myself I wasn't going to call him or bother him, just give him time and space to think things thru, (remember, I was the one who messed things up). Well it's going on 3 weeks and he hasn't called me either! You'd think at some point he'd start wondering why I haven't called him either. You'd think he'd at least call and tell me he's done. I guess silence speaks louder than words. I'm just so crushed.

 

Anyway, I did do something positive today for myself Sed, I called and made arrangements for guitar lessons. Every Tues at 3:00 (starting this Tues) I will get a private lesson for 1/2 hour. I'm sooooooooo excited!!!! I hope my instructor is HOT! joking. But at least I have something to look forward to. Thanks again Sed.

[prisonbreak]

Pink Ribbon, we have to find something for you too. Think about it, what would you love to do? Photography, salsa dancing, singing, painting, 1/2 marathon, knitting...? If I can start something or think of something, anyone can!!!!

[sedgwick]

PB, you RULE!!!!!!!! You must tell me how the first one goes! Do you have a guitar or are you going to buy one? How fun to go guitar shopping...

 

And as hobbies go, YES KNITTING YES!! (just returned from the yarn store meself. making hats for tibetan buddhist nuns out of undyed yarn and dyeing them myself. loads of fun!)

[Miyamoto]

This is a wonderful thread...I was going to start it if I didn't find this one first. From a guy's perspective, huh... :bunny:

 

I wish there was a handbook, a list of stuff that would make love decisions for you. The thing I found from my last relationship is that I don't know myself at all, I'm scared, my feelings are not controllable, and nothing is just black and white. Also, there's no such thing as a perfect relationship, just a perfect commitment.

 

Right now I'm in a stage that I don't think I'm ever going to find another girl that can and will do everything my ex did for me. Even through the bad stuff, I can't remember any of it. Only the good stuff. I broke up with her because of this pain in my gut that my brain translated as, "You don't need to be in a relationship."

 

Now I can't get rid of this pain. Girls come around, I don't care. I don't pursue. She was very forward. I have a problem making the first move. I'm attractive, but I don't have any game. I don't know, even if there is another girl out there for me, whether she will approach me like my ex did, so direct. She knew when to approach and then she let me, and expected me to be the man. And I stepped up, and I loved it. I dunno. I'm rambling.

 

But when are you supposed to stop a relationship? What do you do? Hold them on a leash until you get ready to be committed? That's selfish. But I'm almost willing to do that. It's love, in a twisted sense. What if you never are ready?

 

 

Let me stop now because this is just a lot of words. The rabbit makes it all better.

[sedgwick]

miyamoto, i just keep wondering if my ex ever thinks or feels like you do. i go back and forth between thinking girls like me are a dime a dozen and that he's got a million lined up and thinking that he'll never find anyone like me again. i want to think that SOMEWHERE in his brain he remembers the good stuff about me, but because he hasn't contacted me at all and the last time we talked he was pretty cold, i just figure he's done with me and totally over me and that if he thinks of me at all, he thinks bad things. i wonder if he ever thinks about the times i hid love notes in his suitcase or pulled over so we could make out in the car or when i gave him massages when he came off the road. i wonder if he remembers the things i knitted for him. the fact that he's not speaking to me at all makes me think he's just glad to be rid of me and hasn't had one second of pain over any of this.

[Miyamoto]

Well, I would never wish my indecisiveness on anybody. It's debilitating. The rabbit makes it all better.

[miami45uconn]

I guess it would depened how long he had ben thinking of taking a break or breaking up completely. If he wasn't sure as was staying with you unsure (which is wrong) he could be half way there by the time he breaks up with you or even just about out of the hurting hole because it had been a long time of losing feelings. It he started to be unsure and then immeadiatley breaked up with you I'd be guessing hes pretty choked up maybe some jealousy. He might even just be trying to hide it if thats the case. I broke up with a girl who i knew was going nowhere for a long time and i did what i said was wrong earlier and WONT do that again. However for the first month it hurt. Then i actually stumbled upon the perfect girl and we became friends and really hit it off, and thats the girl who left me 3 months ago :-(. We were dating but not really together until 4 months or so later. But even up to a year i still thought about my ex.

[prisonbreak]

I'm going to borrow one for the 1st session and if I enjoy it, then I'm going to buy one!!! I know, I'm so excited!! You get ALL the credit...hehe. I just want to go find a small coffee shop or hole in the wall and listen to someone play and sing. I have big dreams now Sed, but even if I turn out like Phebe (sp?) from friends, singing "Smelly cat", I'll be thrilled. LOL

 

Yesterday sucked *ss, BIG TIME. It was the biggest blow to the crotch ever. But, I'm feeling WAY better today!!!! I've given up all hope and know, there is no chance and we are not getting back together...so on with my life. MY life!!!!

 

I loved what you said, Miyamoto, there's no such thing as a perfect relationship, just a perfect commitment. So true. So true. Maybe this break up and you dating other girls, you'll realize she is the one. I don't know when you'll be ready. I wish there was a handbook too.

 

I wish the bunny made it all better for me, but it doesn't:bunny::bunny::bunny:

[stayc208]

I have taken all your advice and am going to ballroom dancing club next thursday

 

And also, I wake up everyday telling myself that I am going to go to class, understand everything they say and get into the best Medical school there is! I gotta stay motivated, right?

 

And sedgwick--- I see your point with the girl situation. I am on a college campus of over 40,000 people and every single girl I see I think to myself that he probably found someone that is better looking and does cooler things with their life than me... who knows. But that isn't the way that you should think of things.

 

Every relationship I've been in has gotten better (granted I'm a youngin'). Many people have told me the same exact thing. You learn more about yourself every day and who knows when the next best thing will come around..

 

Everyone stay happy! Things happen for a reason and it may be hard today, but tomorrow's a new day. Stay positive! Try to suppress your thoughts (forget about them). Its a positive and mature defense mechanism (learned about it in psych!) And if you keep suppressing long enough it will just come second nature.

[prisonbreak]

We should just rename this thread to...GET UP, GET MOVING, GET DREAMING.

 

That's awesome Stacy, ballroom dancing sounds like a good one!!! Let us know how it goes.