girl with non-serious bf

[tanbark813]

i've been gradually trying to increase the romantic stuff to help her adjust to the idea that i could be a potential bf. i'm hanging out with her tonight so we'll see what happens.

 

If you're going to make a move, bro, make a move. Enough of the gradual horseshyt.

[mental_traveller]

NO!

 

Let her breakup with her BOYFRIEND on her own, without any suggestion from you, if that's what SHE wants. DO NOT PURSUE someone who is committed to someone else and NOT available, Phate! C'mon now! Would you want some dude to do that to you? Karma! Not only that, but assuming she does take your bait, how would you ever trust that she wouldn't do the same thing to you?

 

I don't think it's wrong to make a play for a woman with a non-serious bf (e.g. a FWB situation). As long as you make sure she breaks up with him before you are intimate, then what is wrong with saying you have more to offer, and why is she still with this guy if she is not that into him? It's not like they are bf and gf madly in love, it's just a casual thing.

 

Faint heart never won fair lady

[oppath]

If you're going to make a move, bro, make a move. Enough of the gradual horseshyt.

 

Agreed, I had a mega crush on a girl similar to your situation, a dance instructor, and we were exchanging paragraph emails for a week plus straight, very clearly flirting. I hesitated because I didn't know if I was going to take another class with her as the instructor. I decided to take the class -- and I had some on/off thing with another girl going on -- and now I'm in the friend zone. I read all the signals correctly. I had a moment to make my move. I did not. And while it's not too late, it is unlikely, as little comments or texts aren't replied to right away. I am 99% sure I blew my chance.

 

If you meet a woman and you want her, make a decisive move. Don't hesitate. I say go for it.

[LoveLace]

What Oppath says goes back to when I suggested "giving her a reason" to think about more than friendship with you. If you stop giving her that she will second guess that you like her, and withdraw based on you giving mixed signs, or waiting too long to ask her out could make her think she is just your back-up chick or something.

[Phateless]

aww jeez, these comments are perfect timing. tonight went great, we went out for dinner then hung out at her house for a while. when we hugged goodnight, i could feel that her head was turned slightly more towards me than usual, which i think was the body language cue that i should have gone right for the kiss instead of the hug. after that we looked each other in the eyes for about a second, then she turned away. on some level, she could tell i wasn't confident enough to kiss her right then. i'm so pissed at myself right now. i was just terrified... i was too afraid of getting shot down.

[StartingOver07]

aww jeez, these comments are perfect timing. tonight went great, we went out for dinner then hung out at her house for a while. when we hugged goodnight, i could feel that her head was turned slightly more towards me than usual, which i think was the body language cue that i should have gone right for the kiss instead of the hug. after that we looked each other in the eyes for about a second, then she turned away. on some level, she could tell i wasn't confident enough to kiss her right then. i'm so pissed at myself right now. i was just terrified... i was too afraid of getting shot down.

 

Kiss her already!

 

 

(rooting for you)

[JCD]

Seeing that you didn't kiss her, she should have kissed you to get things started but she didn't which means she's not that into you. Besides, when a girl is into you, there are no head games. She will come see you and ask you questions and be genuinely interested instead of you getting mixed signals and climbing up a steep hill to get any attention from her. Trust me, she will send strong signals she wants to see you more, not like this girl. You were terrified because you felt deeply that she isn't the one for you not because you feared to be shot down.

[tanbark813]

Seeing that you didn't kiss her, she should have kissed you to get things started but she didn't which means she's not that into you.

 

This couldn't be more wrong.

[twice_shy]

i'll try to make this short. i have no problem getting other girls but i've been hanging out with this one a lot as friends and i'm getting ready to make a power play.

 

i've known her for years, she's my ex's best friend. my ex has another bf (over a year) so that's no issue.

the girl i like was dating this guy casually, and nobody knew about it, (even me) not even her other best friend, it came out randomly about a month ago. she even said "it's nothing serious." but she did assert she was his gf, which makes me think she doesn't date multiple people at once.

 

No, what it means is she considers him his boyfriend, but doesn't want to lose your interest.

 

Sounds like a girl to stay away from to me.

[Phateless]

TOTALLY agree. If I was her and noted you holding back, I wouldn't want to make a move at that point lest you:

 

1) Feel like I just sliced off your balls, or;

2) Think I'm overbearing or "slutty."

 

You're right, SOC - she's probably holding back BECAUSE I am... lol i can totally see me kissing her and her smartass self saying "about damn time!"