Bruno6301 Posted June 29, 2003 Share Posted June 29, 2003 Is there anyone here that is contantly dealing with a husband's past "mistake"....This man's ex is almost to the point of ruining our marriage....God, I hate her, and she is trash. He hates her, but she just won't go away....Anyone? Link to post Share on other sites
Just A Girl2 Posted June 29, 2003 Share Posted June 29, 2003 To what extent, and under what circumstances is your husband's ex wife interfering? Do they have children together? How long have they been divorced? How long after they divorced did you and he get together? How does your husband deal with her interfering? What sorts of things does she do? Do you think she wants him back? Link to post Share on other sites
kam Posted October 13, 2003 Share Posted October 13, 2003 I completely agree with you on dealing with your husbands ex can be quite difficult. It sometimes seems they stick there noses in business that does not involve them. My husbands ex tries to act like she is our buddy when in fact she just uses this as an opportunity to stab me in the back. I have tried to be nice and civil with her but now she has me to the point of wanting to just slap the skank! I am just venting I guess, but it just seems like she needs to be put in her place. If it doesn't involve the kids , it most certainly doesn't involve her! Link to post Share on other sites
Fancy Posted October 13, 2003 Share Posted October 13, 2003 Hi there! Your topic doesn't give us much to go on. Could you be a little more specific as to what the problem is? Unless they have children together, I can't see any reason at all why there should even have to be any contact at all with her. I'm sorry you're going through a hard time. Mixed families are never an easy thing. Link to post Share on other sites
tannersmom Posted April 13, 2004 Share Posted April 13, 2004 I deal with my husband's ex too often... She's makes me insane sometimes. He says he can't stand her, yet he always nice to her when she calls which makes me crazy. I don't understand why he is nice to her when he supposedly hates her but he says all kinds of hurtful things to me and he is suppose to love me... Link to post Share on other sites
Fustratedtx Posted August 13, 2004 Share Posted August 13, 2004 Originally posted by kam I completely agree with you on dealing with your husbands ex can be quite difficult. It sometimes seems they stick there noses in business that does not involve them. My husbands ex tries to act like she is our buddy when in fact she just uses this as an opportunity to stab me in the back. I have tried to be nice and civil with her but now she has me to the point of wanting to just slap the skank! I am just venting I guess, but it just seems like she needs to be put in her place. If it doesn't involve the kids , it most certainly doesn't involve her! Link to post Share on other sites
PUHLEEEEZE... Posted August 13, 2004 Share Posted August 13, 2004 If there are children involved, she's never going to "go away". She is part of the deal... but your husband should not allow her to interfere with your marriage. Don't get mad at HER -- He needs to step up to the plate and let the ex know, in no uncertain terms, that YOU are his wife now, and he won't stand for her causing trouble. Link to post Share on other sites
stressedout Posted August 30, 2004 Share Posted August 30, 2004 I deal with my husbands past mistake, and let me tell in 8 years it hasn't gotten any better. She causes nothing but trouble and aggrevation. If anything things have gotten worse. We pay child support and half of everything else and if my husband says no, she says I will take you back to court. So yes, she is a devil!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She has caused us so much trouble, that there are times I just want to walk away and say I can't take this anymore. I love my husband with everything in me and want us to be together forever, but his ex is going to cause me to go off the deep end. They have one child together and you would think it was 4 as much money as they want everytime you turn around. I always dread when our telephone rings thinking that it is her. We can't even finish our house because everytime she thinks we get something new she gets mad and starts screaming at my husband. You have to knwo my husband he is a very quite, sweet man who would do anything for anyone and he gets taken advantage of by his ex and their child. We haven't seen his child in months and they only calls when they need more money. I try to get my husband to say things or not give them the money but he says what good does that do it just causes more trouble and he ends up looking like the bad person. I am all up for advice if anyone has any. Link to post Share on other sites
Khayya Posted August 31, 2004 Share Posted August 31, 2004 I've been dealing with my husband's ex for 6 years now and it has consistently gotten worse. As I read all the postings on this matter I felt like I was reading about my life exactly. I desperately want my husband and I to have a mature relationship with his ex, but feel it's just impossible. Sometimes I think that maybe she is still in love with him and that's why she causes so much trouble. After all, if she's remarried, and has a baby with her new husband, wouldn't she want to use her energy towards them instead of constantly thinking of my husband? I don't get it. Are there any ex's out there with tips on how to fix things? Link to post Share on other sites
Not so crazy Hottie Posted August 31, 2004 Share Posted August 31, 2004 Sounds like we all have the same compaint and problem. I wish I had a answer, this whole things just stinks. These women don't like our men yet they constantly get involved in our lives... I hate my husbands ex, I wish I could pull her hair out strand by strand Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted August 31, 2004 Share Posted August 31, 2004 Mine (fiance's ex) makes me crazy and every time she calls I get the weebie jeebies. Link to post Share on other sites
MBski Posted September 7, 2004 Share Posted September 7, 2004 So why are all you smart women dealing with the exes? Why aren't your HUSBANDS or BOYFRIENDS dealing with the horrid beasts? The MEN should be the ones dealing with their EXES! Why should WE be tortured? They aren't OUR mistakes! Why should WE be the ones to suck it up, "get along" and "be nice"?. The ex gets to be a beast, issue threats, threaten court, withhold visitation, twist the children, create havoc and chaos at every opportunity and get away with it all? ~ and WE have to deal with that? P'shaw!!!! Let the MEN deal with it. Link to post Share on other sites
guest Posted September 7, 2004 Share Posted September 7, 2004 i'm sorry for all the grief you are all going through... but then there's the other side. i'm the ex and i'm sure his new wife has all the same complaints that you do except that i try very hard to only deal with him, not her. but she's immature, as is he, and when my kids are there, they pretty much ignore them. they have their new life together. for a while, he was giving me no money but the madatory amount he had to. didn't approve of my son trying a new sport and refused to pay. and yes, when i call it's usually to ask for money, for dentist bills, and all things related to the kids... not for me!!! he bought her an incredibly expensive engagement ring, bought a new house and buys her everything her heart desires. i live in an apartment with a leased car and struggle to put food on the table some months. it was my choice to leave because i got tired of him being completely self-centered and irresponsible. he just got a raise, or so i'm guessing because for the first time since we divorced over 2 years ago, he's actually buying the kids clothes. so, yes, i'm sure there are times when she sees me as a b**ch but not all exs are bad, some really do have their kids' best interest at heart. i know not all 2nd wives are bad either, i just got stuck with one of them that i hate having to deal with!!! Link to post Share on other sites
gailsey Posted September 10, 2004 Share Posted September 10, 2004 Originally posted by kam I completely agree with you on dealing with your husbands ex can be quite difficult. It sometimes seems they stick there noses in business that does not involve them. My husbands ex tries to act like she is our buddy when in fact she just uses this as an opportunity to stab me in the back. I have tried to be nice and civil with her but now she has me to the point of wanting to just slap the skank! I am just venting I guess, but it just seems like she needs to be put in her place. If it doesn't involve the kids , it most certainly doesn't involve her! My husbands ex has constantly been in our lives for the past 4 years. We started dating and we dated very seriously from the beginning - she couldn't stand it- she used their son for every excuse in the world to several meetings with him in the beginning and everytime she calls. We have been married for almost 3 years now and last summer she hung on his truck door when he took their son home. I have 2 children with my ex and she even went as far as started dating him and being around my children and being nosey about our life. They no longer date, but she tries to come between our kids now and for the past 4 years these 3 kids have all been together on the same weekend and now she has changed the weekend with their son. She always tries to drive a wedge between us and she interupts our vacations or any plans we have every time and has for 4 years. Everyone says she is crazy or bipolar, but what ever it is she must stop. Link to post Share on other sites
Fritz Posted September 13, 2004 Share Posted September 13, 2004 Originally posted by stressedout I deal with my husbands past mistake, and let me tell in 8 years it hasn't gotten any better. She causes nothing but trouble and aggrevation. If anything things have gotten worse. We pay child support and half of everything else and if my husband says no, she says I will take you back to court. So yes, she is a devil!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She has caused us so much trouble, that there are times I just want to walk away and say I can't take this anymore. I love my husband with everything in me and want us to be together forever, but his ex is going to cause me to go off the deep end. They have one child together and you would think it was 4 as much money as they want everytime you turn around. I always dread when our telephone rings thinking that it is her. We can't even finish our house because everytime she thinks we get something new she gets mad and starts screaming at my husband. You have to knwo my husband he is a very quite, sweet man who would do anything for anyone and he gets taken advantage of by his ex and their child. We haven't seen his child in months and they only calls when they need more money. I try to get my husband to say things or not give them the money but he says what good does that do it just causes more trouble and he ends up looking like the bad person. I am all up for advice if anyone has any. Start looking into Father's Rights groups locally where you are. If he wants to be in his kid's life he has to fight hard given the way the courts are these days. Link to post Share on other sites
MBski Posted September 13, 2004 Share Posted September 13, 2004 What does his court order say? Does he understand it? Read it! Understand it! If it says he has to pay "X", then that's all he has to pay. Child support is usually pretty well defined. Why does she keep coming back for more? If it's not ordered by the court - in his judgement, then he doesn't have to pay it. Let her take him back to court. If the court didn't order it, he won't be found in contempt for it. She can always ask for more, but getting it to be ordered by the court is another story. She's just threatening him. Why is he afraid of court? Maybe he'd get some relief. Custodial mothers use financial issues to threaten ex's all the time. It's a waste fo the court's time and they are very aware of it. As for visitation, again, what does the order say? If she is ordered to allow visitation and doesn't, then take HER back to court. Courts WANT fathers in their children's lives. They really hate it when mothers deprive their children of visting their fathers. Read the judgement. What does it say about visitation? If she isn't following the order, file a complaint for contempt. If your judgement no longer works for you, then file a complaint for modification. If your husband wants more visitation, ask the court to order it. If he wants his child support reduced due to a material change in circumstances, ask the court to order it. There is free legal services in some courts on certain days of the week. Use it. Stop allowing her to run your lives!!!! You will end up divorced too if the TWO of you don't stop the chaos that she is creating in your lives. Is that what you want for your child? I wish you all the best ~ Link to post Share on other sites
PUHLEEEZE..... Posted September 13, 2004 Share Posted September 13, 2004 I find it interesting that none of the husbands are posting. Could it be they are sitting back watching (and possibly secrectly enjoying) the catfight between the ex and the new wife? Link to post Share on other sites
okiegirl Posted September 27, 2004 Share Posted September 27, 2004 yes my boyfriend ex wive call him at less 3 or 4 times yes they have kids together a 16 year old so i have no chose in her calling him, but what really makes me mad is she got him by his balls. anything she tells him to do he does (yes mama how high) .. there 16 year old son is out of control on the weekday he doesn't have to be in until midnight and on the weekend he can stay out all night long and then they question on why he get and trouble with the police they let him hang with kids that are 24 25 ... but then when they ask him why. he puts it on the divorce and there like ohhhhhh it's ok and put aside on what he does wrong.... i don't like being the third leg in everything and i don't fell like i can keep being in a relationship when they still act like there married... any advice anyone? Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted September 27, 2004 Share Posted September 27, 2004 I had to send a harsh realization email to my fiance's ex-wife. She's been sugar sweet since. His anger wasn't cutting it obviously, and she has never really had words with me. It was a long time coming. And it worked for the time being. Link to post Share on other sites
sara1974 Posted October 7, 2004 Share Posted October 7, 2004 my boyfriends ex is so damn fake to me!! she acts like we are the best of friends. Like they say "keep your friends close and your ememies closer". I personally dont trust the b*tch and try to make as little contact as possible with her. Link to post Share on other sites
izzybelle Posted October 8, 2004 Share Posted October 8, 2004 hey.... please don't generalize! my exH's fiance, keeps my ex away from his kids. makes him feel torn about spending time with his kids or her. makes him complain about spending money on my daughter's badlly needed braces he's taking her on a cruise and planning their wedding and honeymoon. so am i pissed that i have to beg for him to help out with the two little people he's also responsible for, you bet ya! but will i generalize and say that all exH's GF and fiances suck, no! i'm sure she thinks i'm a b**ch, and i don't care. i'm looking out for my kids because obviously they're not! Link to post Share on other sites
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