Engaged & ...

[lilchica]

I have been engaged for over a year now and I am madly in love but I have been feeling depressed since last night. I did not receive anything for Valentine's day, not a 99 cent card, not a single flower, no box of chocolates, NOTHING!!! He did tell me he loved me but he tells me everyday. Should I not be feeling so depressed? This actually hurt more then being single and having no one to share my day with. We've been together for 3 years now, he never missed this holiday before, I would think if we're newly enegaged I would've at least gotten a card. I'm confused, I dont know what to think, is this going to be how we spend every valentines day for the rest of our lives?

Help! I'm not only engaged & confused but most of all hurt

[Ronni_W]

I would ask him if there is anything going on for him, physically, emotionally, mentally, financially or spiritually, that is causing stress, anxiety, etc.

 

If he asks why you're asking, say it is because you know him to be loving, romantic and attentive, so you concluded there must be something "big" that made him miss Valentine's, and you want to know how you can help alleviate whatever is bothering him.

[redsoxfan84]

To be honest, I'm not sure what the big deal is with V-Day. I've been with my fiance for almost 1.5 years. He didn't get me anything this year, I got a box of chocolates so we could share them. He treats me like a princess every day, why should I expect anything more or less on one day of the year?

[AdrianaLima]

I would be upset and hurt too. Even if he didn't have any money, he could have made a paper card, or get some roses from somebody's house.Show some kind of effort!! He told you that he loves you, and that's great. But I would wonder why this year, out of the three years the two of you been together, would he not get you anything. Did he mention anything to you, or did you confront your feelings to him?

[Ronni_W]

But I would wonder why this year, out of the three years the two of you been together, would he not get you anything.

Yes...that is definitely the key. But I would give him the benefit of the doubt FIRST, and then express my feelings based on his response to what made him not do anything. The reason could be totally not related to OP.

 

Lilchica...you didn't mention what you got him, and how he responded to that?

[tikigods]

did you get him anything?

[redfathom]

My H changed after we got married. When we dated (LD) he used to send me all kinds fo care packages for holidays (and just because) after getting married it slowly came to a standstill. Even one year for my b-day he got me nothing, no card, not gift, nada. I think men just get comfortable after the courting has ended, not that it's an excuse. Did you two do anything together last night?

[sb129]

I'm engaged and didn't get anything for V day. But we did agree that prior to the day that we wouldn't bother acknowledging it.

[princesssockhead]

I've been engaged for almost 3 months now (NYE was our big day) and my FH didn't get me anything either.

 

I got him an $8 soldering iron and a card.

 

He rarely buys me gifts but I told him that really...as long as I have his love (which I do) then I'm fine.

 

20 years from now are you going to look back at one Valentine's day and still feel depressed? I doubt it. You have a lot more ahead of you than a trendy hallmark holiday. Trust me.

 

Hearing your man profess his love for you is a treat in itself. Many guys can't bring themselves to do it without coercion.

 

Good luck!