T.O.gurl Posted February 15, 2008 Share Posted February 15, 2008 Here's my situation. I hope you all can give me some feedback..... I have been hanging out with this guy I like since just before Christmas. We usually just get the chance to hang out once a week due to busy schedules. We typically just hang out at my house and watch a movie or something. I wouldn't necessarily say were dating but we are more than friends. However, lately I have become pretty suspicious of his intentions with me. I know he talks and hangs out with other girls and that's fine. Yes it bothers me somewhat but since we aren't in a serious relationship I guess I have to deal with it. Earlier this week he was at my place and when he got up to use the bathroom at one point(and please don't jump all over me for this......)I began looking through his cell phone. I noticed that he had a TON of text messages from other girls, which he says are all just friends. One in particular, I'll just call her "Susan", had sent what looked like hundreds of messages. This really bothered me because he doesn't call or even text me on a daily basis or anything. I became even more bothered after I read some of these messages from her in which she called him a "liar and scum", said she "wanted nothing else to do with him", "wanted to see other people", and one in particular that hinted heavily that she didn't want to be his Valentine any longer. I usually just leave him little messages on his myspace letting him know that I'm thinking of him, that I've had a great time with him, etc. He has joked with me in the past that I'm making other girls jealous by doing this......but I somehow suspect he just meant "Susan" as I know she doesn't like him hanging out with me and has seen the messages I've left on his myspace in the past and has not been happy. While he was at my place the other night I told him that I had gotten Valentine's night off and wanted to see him.......so he said that we could do something. I was really happy when yesterday rolled around and he gave me roses. The only problem was that he said he couldn't see me at all that day because he was really busy until 9pm at a sporting event. This was fine at the time but the more I've thought about it the more it upsets me. If he really likes me would he not try and find some time to see me afterwards? I'm starting to feel like he only got me roses because I'd mentioned wanting to see him on Valentine's Day and he felt almost obligated to get me something. I'm also starting to worry that he may've done it in the hopes that I would leave him a message on his myspace thanking him for the roses and "Susan" may see it and it may really upset her. Does this guy really like me or am I just the backup or something? Link to post Share on other sites
Author T.O.gurl Posted February 16, 2008 Author Share Posted February 16, 2008 Anyone? I would really like some feedback... Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted February 16, 2008 Share Posted February 16, 2008 It does sound like Susan is his girlfriend and you are...something else. Are you having sex when he comes and hangs out at your house? Are you fooling around? If he NEVER takes you out anywhere and you only see each other at your house, it's very, very likely that he has someone else he's dating. Link to post Share on other sites
Author T.O.gurl Posted February 16, 2008 Author Share Posted February 16, 2008 Thanks for replying! Well I know this girl and I know she's not his girlfriend but someone he does hang out with(he has told me and I also know he told her that he wants to be single for right now but not much longer if that makes any sense?). I only know this because I asked his roommate about her and he said that she wasn't his girlfriend but she does come over to their place to hang out at least once a week, sometimes more, and he does talk to her alot. I also know that he takes her out to a movie or dinner sometimes and when I'm hanging out with him we usually just hang out at my house....and yes we have fooled around. My fear is that maybe she was the one he really liked and now that she's told him to leave her alone is the only reason is going to be spending more time with me or talking to me more....... Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted February 16, 2008 Share Posted February 16, 2008 Well, I guess you have two options. You can wait it out and see if he's ever ready to make a decision between the two of you. Or, you can walk away because you want a guy who is all about you and isn't considering between you and another girl. Even if you're the one he really likes, that he has to choose between you at all says he doesn't like either of you all that much, right? Link to post Share on other sites
Je Ne Regrette Rien Posted February 16, 2008 Share Posted February 16, 2008 I agree with NJ, why sit around and wait for him and his hundreds of girls texting him? Be honest with him, tell him you like him but you've decided to back off because you're worth being exclusive with and that's what you're looking for. Then back off. Dont sit waiting round for him to make his mind up about "Susan". Link to post Share on other sites
Replicant Posted February 17, 2008 Share Posted February 17, 2008 (edited) Sounds like the dude was late that night because he had many deliveries of roses to make.....You are letting yourself get played here. On one hand you are not exclusive, yet i would think roses and something special on Valentines usually marks for those whom are exclusive. If you are making other girls jealous by your words, he should not mind provided he cared for you. Yes i would say you are a backup should others not work, or just a side dish to the main course which may be this other girl. Come on have some self respect, if he's taking this other girl out for dinner and such what do you think is for dessert!? Even though i don't think snooping is a good think, you've already done it and validated your fears. Now the choices from here on out are up to you. Edited February 17, 2008 by Replicant Link to post Share on other sites
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