Misty Posted June 30, 2003 Share Posted June 30, 2003 Hi, My bf broke up with me a few days ago. I emailed him but for the past two days I have no contact with him. If I write him a email,he would answer. But I consciously decided to not emailing him. He broke up with me because he needed space. It was more than space. I was a miserable person to live with! Even I wouldn't want to be with my old "miserable me." We dated for 11 months. I was insecured. Both my insecurities and jealousy along with crowding his space had driven him away. I think . He only told me that he genuinely needed to be on his own. I could barely eat the first day. After I decided to concentrate on myself because I think the root of the problem was my own insecurity and neediness that suffocated him. I am now more confident and relaxed. I don't NEED him; I'm fine on my own. But I do want him. If you were him, would you give me another chance? How long should I wait until contacting him again? Is another chance possible at all? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted June 30, 2003 Share Posted June 30, 2003 1. "If you were him, would you give me another chance?" No. I don't like to be around miserable people and I wouldn't trust that you had changed. People just don't change overnight. 2. "How long should I wait until contacting him again?" Wait a couple of weeks and give him a call to say hello. But make the call short. If you drag it out, you're just going to get hurt because he will surely start dredging up crap from the relationship...and then you'll tell him how you have magically changed....and he'll tell you he doesn't believe it....etc. Don't even talk about the two of you. Just ask him what he's been up to, etc....and hope he hasn't started dating other people. I'm sure you don't want to hear that kind of crap. 3. "Is another chance possible at all?" Yes, but you're going to have to make some permanent changes and give him the opportunity to see that the changes are permanent. Maybe you can strike up a friendship or something. You had your chance with the guy and screwed it up. There may be an underlying reason why you were mean to him. Perhaps you were afraid of a truly solid relationship. Look into yourself and get to the root of the problem. If you want a long term relationship, you have to behave rationally and in such a way that people will want to be around you. Life is way too short to hang with someone who is not positive in your life. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
lyasha Posted August 10, 2003 Share Posted August 10, 2003 Hi, I can really relate to your situation. I was with my bf for about 2 years now. He also compained a lot about my insecurities and about how mean I was to him. Yeasterday he actually told me he doesn't want to be with me anymore... and my heart is breaking. I am so much in love with him... he was with me too. So, I don't even understand what is going on right no. He tells me he doesn't believe I've changed and he doesn't want to be with a person who is so moody and conflictuos. May be, we could figure out how to get out bf's back and report on our progress. I just can't imagine living without him! Link to post Share on other sites
lyasha Posted August 10, 2003 Share Posted August 10, 2003 Hi, Tony, I agree with what you're suggesting here, I have a similar situation with my boyfriend here. He doesn't believe change is possible with me, and I am ready to do anything for him... He also lives in a different state now, he got a job there... My heart is broken now, what do I do? Is there any hope for me? We were such sweethearts before, now my bf doesn't trust me anymore... he said "I'm now with you anymore!" What do I do now? Is there a hope for me now? He says he still loves me... Any support will be appreciated, Desperate Liana Link to post Share on other sites
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