He's still talking to her...

[Spoonandfork22]

i feel like a complete hypocrite. i feel like an idiot. i feel like everything i made true in my head, everything i fought so hard for and fought so hard to make work was a complete lie. i cant do this anymore. i cant look at him anymore without wondering how much he has lied to me.

 

my phone died this morning so i used my boyfriends to call my friend. i never do this but didnt think twice about it. i went to outgoing calls since i had called her from the bar last night (those drunk dials, lol) and my eyes caught a number -- her number, the infamous girl i thought we were rid of -- in his outgoing calls. I wasnt even mad but I was a bit surprised. This prompted me to look a little furthur. Sure enough, outgoing calls to her on the weekends, at 2am, 3am. Last weekend I had a girls night out and him a boys night out. I went home to my place that night and him to his. I saw in his phone he had called her at 3am. I didnt see how long they talked or anything like that, I just shut the phone and got dressed, didnt even call my friend. He asked me why I was in such a hurry to go, I told him I just had things to do, played it all off to being busy, like I always do.

 

I came right home and have been sitting in my room ever since, just staring at the wall. Im stunned. Not even that, but the fact that she lives two doors down from him. Why call at 3am? To tell her its ok to come by? It took all I had not to confront him at his house this morning, but it would have been horrific, equal to a third world war. So here I am again, thinking things were wonderul, that we had overcome that terrible time in our relationship only to see that nope, hes just gotten a lot better at being a f__king liar.

 

I need to approach this. and he wanted to move in together? he was pushing the issue with me, saying this was serious to him and he thought we could do it, he saw us long term. Yea right to that, I wont move in with him now, I was debating it but now, hell no.

 

where do i go from here, i dont even know what to think. this is a blow that i didnt see coming at all. absolutely not at all. im so lost i cant even explain what im feeling right now. all the things i said good about him, all the times i defended him in my thoughts, to my friends, to anyone who said anything about us. all the things i went through to make this relationship work. all the times i posted on forums saying 'you can work through it as a couple! you can turn things around and make the relaitonship stronger!'. i feel bad for saying those things, because look at me, here i am, in the same place i was a year ago.

 

its sick.

[norajane]

Sometimes you can turn a relationship around, but it takes both partners to make that happen. You can't do it all on your own.

 

I don't know why he's making those calls to her late at night, but since she's been an issue between you in the past, then it's clear he doesn't respect your feelings about staying away from her, and it's probably even worse than that.

 

All you can do at this point is step back and consider if he's really the kind of man you want in your life. My guess is no. Guys who lie and sneak around and hide things generally take a very, very, very long time to learn from their mistakes, if ever. Odds are, his character is already molded into being the kind of guy who does sh*t behind his gf's back and thinks it's ok as long as he gets away with it.

 

May be time to walk away rather than continuing to give him your trust and your love...he's not taking very good care of either.

[Seaman Staines]

I think you need to keep things in perspective - they're just phone calls. It's not like the girl two doors down is wrapping her lips around his member, and bringing him to a slow, rapturous orgasm.

 

They're just phone calls. It's good to talk.

[zilverenvlinder]

Sweetie, reading your post is like deja vu! I'm in the EXACT SAME SITUATION.

 

Unfortunately, the only difference is, you are lucky enough to get out. I'm not! I'm stuck living with this ******* for the next six months!!

 

After he had a disgusting putrid affair with a disgusting putrid troll girl he cried and told me he wished he was dead he felt so horrible. I even made him call her and leave her a voicemail that said he would never be speaking with her again. She went on to leave him My Space messages about how controlling and awful I was when SHE's the dumb desperate skank!

 

So, six months later, with me stalking his every move, I thought, hey, well, this is over. He's not going to do it anymore!

 

WRONG. He set up a SECRET My Space account (which wasn't that secret, because I found it in his email history that he had a password for it sent to his email box), and I found he'd been messaging this skank the entire time!

 

So, lesson learned for both of us here: CHEATERS NEVER CHANGE. They are disgusting, vile, horrible people and hopefully they rot in hell and are reincarnated for thousands of years as houseflies that get beaten to death.