void919 Posted June 30, 2003 Share Posted June 30, 2003 My 27 year old female colleague was just that. She was\is to get married to her boyfriend of 4 years, who is also her 5th boyfriend. She began having and emotional affair with me which left me devastated. She began calling me once, twice daily, up to 8-10 times daily, and the daily night call went from 7 or 8pm up to 1am. She ate lunch with me repeatedly, cried on my shoulder via telephone, and told me how happy she was with me and how after talking to me she found peace. Sometimes she said that she called me just to hear my voice. We once shared a hotel room but no touching ever happened since we were so sleepy/she caressed my head for half an hour, though. It was a relationship I needed, and I enjoyed it tremendously. She realized after 8-10 months that she was over-exceeding herself and it was very troubling for her "real" relationship. With a lot of evil advise from some other female colleague she put a stop to her calls and told me she didn't want trouble with her boyfriend. Then it all went back to how it was in the past, as if nothing had ever taken place. I know I'm the third wheel, but nevertheless, I am positive, 95% sure, that she loved me and if she wasn't with her boyfriend right now she would be with me. I am certain that her boyfriend is not right for her (and 4 years younger than she is) because of all the things she ever said, and that she is still with him because of some subconscious irrational commitment or fear of her background of never having had a boyfriend last this long. 'Should I stay or should I go now?', as the song goes. I would hate myself for letting go because, a) I love her, and b) I am positive she will divorce him in the first year. Link to post Share on other sites
winnieloveshunny Posted June 30, 2003 Share Posted June 30, 2003 I know I'm the third wheel, but nevertheless, I am positive, 95% sure, that she loved me and if she wasn't with her boyfriend right now she would be with me. I am certain that her boyfriend is not right for her (and 4 years younger than she is) because of all the things she ever said, and that she is still with him because of some subconscious irrational commitment or fear of her background of never having had a boyfriend last this long. Why are you so sure that she loved you and would be with you if she was not with her boyfriend and that her boyfriend is not right for her? Did she tell you all these things herself or you presume that this is how she feel? Being 4 years older than her boyfriend does not mean that they are not suitable to be together. The most you can do now is to let her know how you feel. Ultimately, it all depends on her choice and if she really decides to go ahead with the wedding, you should let her go. Link to post Share on other sites
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