miller1964 Posted February 17, 2008 Share Posted February 17, 2008 Hi...I posted this in another forum. But I not sure if this is a better forum for my question... My ex bf of 3 years and I broke up 8 monthes ago because I caught him lying and cheating. It was a very ugly break up. A few monthes ago he returned telling me how sorry he was and that he was making changes to be a better person. So we have been working on getting our friendship back. I believe in giving people the benefit of the doubt. But he understands that I have a lot of trust issues with him. He proceeded to break up with the girl he cheated on me with. He claimed he never wanted to talk to her again. She is a drunk and not worth his time...he claimed. This week he has been asking to get back together with me sexually only. I said I would think about it. But I suspect it isn't a good idea because I don't trust him yet. Well, during that conversation, I find out that he is STILL talking to the woman he cheated on me with. I asked him why he lied and told me he never wanted to talk to her again. He claims that he wasn't "lying". He just changed his mind. He said he wanted to keep talking with her. I got angry as I see this as just a crafty way of trying to get out of a lie. I told him that to be friends with me it was important that he stop all the sources of our initial conflict...i.e. this girl that he was his lying and cheating with. He said he would continue to chat with her. I told him I thought it was best not to remain friends as I think he lacks integrity and the ability to be honest and stick by it. He felt I had no right to ask him to stop chatting with her. Did I over react? Does it seem like he is just a cakeeater? Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
swansong519 Posted February 17, 2008 Share Posted February 17, 2008 It seems as though you have a very clearly defined boundary in regards to this issue. There is nothing wrong with clear bondaries. Unfortunately (not really)...to maintain those boundaries sometimes means having to say goodbye to those that don't respect them. You should be commended for standing up for yourself. Like the song says.... "You gotta stand for something or you'll fall for anything". Good luck...stay strong.... Link to post Share on other sites
Crestfallen_KH Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 Run. I was in this situation and he's clearly telling you he won't give her up - believe him. If you don't give him up, you're going to lose yourself. Part with him and let him live with his decision. After this happened to me, I decided that if any guy (and the guy in question was my husband) had trouble choosing between me and another girl, I would make the choice for him. Link to post Share on other sites
Obama08 Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 (edited) Cut it off like a tumor. Find someone you can trust. Edited February 18, 2008 by Obama08 Link to post Share on other sites
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