julkat Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 Hi everyone, It's been a while since I posted but I have been reading and learning from all of your experiences and ideas. And Gunny, some slaps! To recap, I discovered my husband was a crack addict and has been for our entire 20 years together. Also that he was having sex with other women and definitely not with me. He asked for help in November and returned from the city he works in to our community, but he moved in with his parents down the road from where we live. He has been clean for 3.5 months and just returned last week to the city he works in. This is my dilemna: we own businesses together - none of them doing well anymore with him not actively working them, or working at all while he deals with his addictionwhile he was addicted he and some of his work buds purchased a $1.6M house to do a $600K renovation and flip and he now lives in the coach house at this property two hours from ushe has asked me to not file for a legal separation for one year - initially he said this was to see if there was anything left between us but I think it's so it doesn't screw up his financing on the flip houseafter the flip house is sold there will be a profit of over $1.5M to uswe are on the verge of bankruptcy as we are now way overextended and he's not bringing in an income (I work 7 days a week in 2 jobs and have for many months now - I'm tuckered)My question is this... Should I file for a legal separation now and limit any further financial liabilities his activities may have. The impact is that we will likely have to sell everything we have and neither of us will fare well financially? Or...should I wait and claim a portion of the profit on the flip so that he can buy me out? I don't want the businesses or houses and he does. I am tired of waiting to start my life, but after all of these years of hard work I don't want to leave me and my kids in a position of starting from scratch. I'm 42, and not getting any younger! Thanks for your input. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 While he was addicted he and some of his work buds purchased a $1.6M house to do a $600K renovation and flip and he now lives in the coach house at this property two hours from us. After the flip house is sold there will be a profit of over $1.5M to us I don't know about real estate activity in Ontario but it is pretty soft in most of North America due to well-documented problems with the credit and lending markets. Add that to the unpleasant thought of $600K worth of remodeling done by crackheads and it just sounds like a recipe for disaster. I'd get out ASAP before you are pulled completely under - that's what addicts do to those around them. Keep us posted... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 I don't know about real estate activity in Ontario but it is pretty soft in most of North America due to well-documented problems with the credit and lending markets. Add that to the unpleasant thought of $600K worth of remodeling done by crackheads and it just sounds like a recipe for disaster. I'd get out ASAP before you are pulled completely under - that's what addicts do to those around them. Keep us posted... Mr. Lucky I thought I was going to die laughing when I read that!!!! OP? Forget this "recovering" what-ever! You need to be thinking about yourself, your children!!!!! Forget him! Hope he gets it together ~ gets his Life straight! Good for him ~ but you need him like the Titantic needed a freaking band going down! Your babies need him like I need a crack-addicted Mama with five kids! An addict is an addict is an addict! Be it drugs! Be it drink! Be it sex! Send him on his way and get yourself busy getting busy living your LIFE! The person responsible for your own personal happiness? Is YOU! YOURSELF! AND "I" Link to post Share on other sites
mark982 Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 your husband was a crackhead for 20 yrs. and you didn't know it???somethings wrong her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author julkat Posted February 23, 2008 Author Share Posted February 23, 2008 Hi everyone, I contacted professionals (lawyer, financial planner, accountant) and have started proceedings for separation. And Mark, I didn't know because he lived and worked in another city and came home on weekends. Thought he was stressed, not stoned. Looking back, I feel stupid cuz mood swings, lethargy, etc. was all there, but crack abuse never occurred to me because had never had any experience with this. Thanks again for your thoughts. D Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts