Chauncey Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 So last night my girlfriend came over to hangout. We've been together for about a year now and are very much in love. For Christmas I gave her a gorgeous diamond ring (her words, not mine) and since giving it to her it's never left her finger. I noticed last night when cuddling she was wearing a ring she got from one of her previous boyfriends on the other finger. I know this is probably me just being silly, but it made me a bit jealous. Not so much the ring, but the fact that she would still wear a ring from a previous boyfriend she ended up breaking up with because he cheated on her. I think I'm probably just over analyzing it all, but nevertheless it irked me a bit. Link to post Share on other sites
Cobra_X30 Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 So last night my girlfriend came over to hangout. We've been together for about a year now and are very much in love. For Christmas I gave her a gorgeous diamond ring (her words, not mine) and since giving it to her it's never left her finger. I noticed last night when cuddling she was wearing a ring she got from one of her previous boyfriends on the other finger. I know this is probably me just being silly, but it made me a bit jealous. Not so much the ring, but the fact that she would still wear a ring from a previous boyfriend she ended up breaking up with because he cheated on her. I think I'm probably just over analyzing it all, but nevertheless it irked me a bit. Dude... when are you going to dump her! What's it going to take? She is completely inconsiderate about everything. That tells me she does not value you enough! You want to be taken for granted the rest of your life? C'mon! Don't you feel like you can do better? Link to post Share on other sites
Replicant Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 I know this is probably me just being silly, but it made me a bit jealous. Not so much the ring, but the fact that she would still wear a ring from a previous boyfriend Considering the ring was a symbol of something sentimental (When it did exist) So i don't think you'll see many people on here agree they would still do such things after the break up. Be it pictures, tokens, jewelry etc...It gets boxed, trashed, pawned, given back. Whatever. For her to wear a ring she has bought herself is one thing, one from you also makes sense but to be wearing an ex-boyfriends ring, especially one whom cheated on her seems strange to me and shows a total lack of respect for you. Link to post Share on other sites
EYECANDY000 Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 I would have to disagree. Although i dont know the history on your story with this girl I am just speaking about the ring. I think you are over analyzing it. Im sure that when the ring was given to her at the time by her ex , it was a token of his affection, but its over between them now. Maybe she really just love the ring. Telling her not to wear it anymore is a big mistake in my opinion. I have a ring that an ex gave me, and when I look at it I dont think about him, I think about how it compliments my finger. Its no big deal with the ring! Link to post Share on other sites
Florida Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 (edited) So last night my girlfriend came over to hangout. We've been together for about a year now and are very much in love. For Christmas I gave her a gorgeous diamond ring (her words, not mine) and since giving it to her it's never left her finger. I noticed last night when cuddling she was wearing a ring she got from one of her previous boyfriends on the other finger. I know this is probably me just being silly, but it made me a bit jealous. Not so much the ring, but the fact that she would still wear a ring from a previous boyfriend she ended up breaking up with because he cheated on her. I think I'm probably just over analyzing it all, but nevertheless it irked me a bit. I could see myself making that mistake with a boyfriend if I was 18 and really liked the jewelry piece in question. Is older than that by a few years? Because then she probably should know it is better to keep the peace than keep the jewelry. But maybe she doesn't. Although if the shoe was on the other foot, I would flip, so i'm being hypocritical. Edited February 18, 2008 by Florida Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chauncey Posted February 18, 2008 Author Share Posted February 18, 2008 She's 22. The ring is nice looking I will give her that. It's a lab-created alexandrite, large cut. I found out about the ring when we went on a cruise the the caribbean and were shopping at one of the ports. The jeweler said that she had such a nice boyfriend to purchase such a nice ring for her, and my gf chuckled and said the ring wasn't from her current boyfriend. She loves jewelry so I could see why she would like to wear it, but again a little part of me thinks it is in bad taste to wear something that symbolizes a time with another that has passed and obviously gone. Again maybe I am making mountains out of mole hills... Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 This could go either way. A few months ago I found a Tiffany bracelet an ex had given me - totally had thought it was gone forever. I started wearing it again because I liked the bracelet, not because my ex gave it to me. In fact, I "lost" it to begin with because I had hid it from myself because I didn't want to be reminded of him. But years later, after I was truly over him, I saw it only as a nice piece of jewelry. So as long as he's truly in her past and she has no lingering feelings, I don't see a problem with it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chauncey Posted February 18, 2008 Author Share Posted February 18, 2008 This could go either way. A few months ago I found a Tiffany bracelet an ex had given me - totally had thought it was gone forever. I started wearing it again because I liked the bracelet, not because my ex gave it to me. In fact, I "lost" it to begin with because I had hid it from myself because I didn't want to be reminded of him. But years later, after I was truly over him, I saw it only as a nice piece of jewelry. So as long as he's truly in her past and she has no lingering feelings, I don't see a problem with it. That's the other thing. I think I've only seen her wear it a handful of times. The last time probably was when we went on our cruise this past July. I think it just made me a do a double take when I saw my ring next to it... Link to post Share on other sites
Florida Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 This could go either way. A few months ago I found a Tiffany bracelet an ex had given me - totally had thought it was gone forever. I started wearing it again because I liked the bracelet, not because my ex gave it to me. In fact, I "lost" it to begin with because I had hid it from myself because I didn't want to be reminded of him. But years later, after I was truly over him, I saw it only as a nice piece of jewelry. So as long as he's truly in her past and she has no lingering feelings, I don't see a problem with it. See us gals understand about the love of jewelry. A picture up would be but a nice piece of jewelry..... I'm sure if you expressed discontent or unease, if she was reasonable, she would put it away. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 That's the other thing. I think I've only seen her wear it a handful of times. The last time probably was when we went on our cruise this past July. I think it just made me a do a double take when I saw my ring next to it... I don't wear the bracelet either. Other types of jewelry - earrings, your GF's other ring, this bracelet, etc. - isn't meant to be worn every day. I'd only worry if she stopped wearing the ring YOU gave her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chauncey Posted February 19, 2008 Author Share Posted February 19, 2008 I don't wear the bracelet either. Other types of jewelry - earrings, your GF's other ring, this bracelet, etc. - isn't meant to be worn every day. I'd only worry if she stopped wearing the ring YOU gave her. So I shouldn't worry or make a fuss about her wearing that other ring than? Link to post Share on other sites
StartingOver07 Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 So I shouldn't worry or make a fuss about her wearing that other ring than? You should worry and make a fuss about the fact that she won't have sex with you! The ring is secondary. Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 Who cares if she loves jewelry? I love pizza, but I'm not about to choose it over a significant other. It is one thing to just wear it, but after YOU gave her a ring, she still wears it? I don't care if it brings out the color in her eyes, matches with her favorite outfit, etc. that is kinda shady. People keep talking about her feelings, I don't think it is about that, she isn't the one that is uncomfortable, when she chose to put it on she shouldn't of been thinking about how she feels about or if she is over him. It is about how it makes her bf feel. If she would really throw a big fit over not wearing a ring from an ex, especially since he has given her a newer ring, then she isn't gf material anyways. Link to post Share on other sites
twice_shy Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 Chauncey, do you have anything like jewelry from an ex girlfriend? If so, wear it and see if she comments on it. If she does, tell her, "oh, one of my ex-girlfriends gave me this". See what her reaction is. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chauncey Posted February 19, 2008 Author Share Posted February 19, 2008 A little part of me feels like I'm over analyzing all of this, but again a small part of me feels as though it is in bad taste. Again maybe I'm making a big deal about all of this, but again I feel it signifies another part of her life that should be kept in the past, no matter how beautiful a piece of jewelry it is. I just want to feel like I'm not completely wrong about all of this, that's all... Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 A little part of me feels like I'm over analyzing all of this, but again a small part of me feels as though it is in bad taste. Again maybe I'm making a big deal about all of this, but again I feel it signifies another part of her life that should be kept in the past, no matter how beautiful a piece of jewelry it is. I just want to feel like I'm not completely wrong about all of this, that's all... I think your insecurity about the ring is just a reflection of the other major issues going on in your relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chauncey Posted February 19, 2008 Author Share Posted February 19, 2008 Chauncey, do you have anything like jewelry from an ex girlfriend? If so, wear it and see if she comments on it. If she does, tell her, "oh, one of my ex-girlfriends gave me this". See what her reaction is. No, I don't have any jewelry. I've only been in 4 relationships including the one I'm currently in, and nothing has ever been this serious. Link to post Share on other sites
Cobra_X30 Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 A little part of me feels like I'm over analyzing all of this, but again a small part of me feels as though it is in bad taste. Again maybe I'm making a big deal about all of this, but again I feel it signifies another part of her life that should be kept in the past, no matter how beautiful a piece of jewelry it is. I just want to feel like I'm not completely wrong about all of this, that's all... My view on this Chauncey is that as a single incident... it's no big deal. However, if you combine it will all the other problems and issues you two have, then it seems like more. I honestly think she is just inconsiderate. So, I don't think your completely wrong, because it's not just one thing... it's just one more in a laundry list of things that are bothering you. My only idea is to just communicate how your feeling and why. Not just on this one topic... but on all the things that bug you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chauncey Posted February 19, 2008 Author Share Posted February 19, 2008 I think your insecurity about the ring is just a reflection of the other major issues going on in your relationship. I can agree with you on this, as the ring is not the only issue at hand (if you've been reading any of my other posts) but it definitely adds fuel to the fire. Even if I didn't have any other issues I'm trying to get through with her at the moment, would I still be considered wrong for letting it bother me? Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 I can agree with you on this, as the ring is not the only issue at hand (if you've been reading any of my other posts) but it definitely adds fuel to the fire. Even if I didn't have any other issues I'm trying to get through with her at the moment, would I still be considered wrong for letting it bother me? Oh like as an isolated incident in an imaginary relationship where everything else is fine?.... Well yeah, if it was just this one thing then I would think you were overreacting -- but TBH, it's not. This is just another straw on the proverbial camel's back.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chauncey Posted February 19, 2008 Author Share Posted February 19, 2008 Oh like as an isolated incident in an imaginary relationship where everything else is fine?.... Well yeah, if it was just this one thing then I would think you were overreacting -- but TBH, it's not. This is just another straw on the proverbial camel's back.... Sorry, not down with the lingo "TBH"? So I wouldn't be wrong if I mentioned something to her about it? I won't see her until the weekend, so maybe she will have stopped wearing it by than. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 Sorry, not down with the lingo "TBH"? So I wouldn't be wrong if I mentioned something to her about it? I won't see her until the weekend, so maybe she will have stopped wearing it by than. TBH = to be honest If you feel it necessary then mention it, but I would frame the conversation in terms of all the issues you are struggling with, rather than this isolated incident. Link to post Share on other sites
Cobra_X30 Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 Sorry, not down with the lingo "TBH"? So I wouldn't be wrong if I mentioned something to her about it? I won't see her until the weekend, so maybe she will have stopped wearing it by than. I agree with Otter on this. If you want to bring this up... you need to address the issues as a whole. Link to post Share on other sites
Potatocakes Posted February 21, 2008 Share Posted February 21, 2008 I would have to disagree. Although i dont know the history on your story with this girl I am just speaking about the ring. I think you are over analyzing it. Im sure that when the ring was given to her at the time by her ex , it was a token of his affection, but its over between them now. Maybe she really just love the ring. Telling her not to wear it anymore is a big mistake in my opinion. I have a ring that an ex gave me, and when I look at it I dont think about him, I think about how it compliments my finger. Its no big deal with the ring! I agree, you could casually ask her why she wears it. Pick out something on the ring and ask if she likes jewlery like that (ex. if the ring is gold ask if she preferes gold jewlery). She probably just likes the ring itself and not whats behind it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chauncey Posted February 23, 2008 Author Share Posted February 23, 2008 So I just got back from dinner with my gf. Her mother is in town visiting, so I figured I would bring my mother along. When we sat down, the first thing I noticed was that she still had the ring on her finger (mine as well). Knowing her, she probably hasn't taken off either ring since I last saw her (Tues.). She sleeps with her jewelry on and again more than likely never took it off. It didn't bother me so much as it did before, but still I'm curious as to why she still feels the need to wear it. I have things given to me by former gfs and I never wear them, as a courtesy to my gf. So again I ask, should I make a little stink about this or just forget it? The bf that she got it from ended their relationship about 2.5 years ago, and she hasn't seen or spoken to him since, so I'm not worried that she's having feelings for him again or anything that crazy... Thanks again for putting up with me Link to post Share on other sites
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